La Douleur Exquise
by charlibubble
Summary: The exquisite pain of loving someone unattainable 'Something about her intrigued him, like the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the morning' Nick/OC/Greg/Sara - NO SLASH OR GSR
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I have been writing this for what seems like forever! HUGE massive thanks have to go out to 'DearSweetPaperCut' who brainstormed, beta-ed, conspired and basically co-wrote this with me!  
this is NOT FOR GSR fans, I warn you now if you are looking for GSR of any kind you will not find it here!**

**Reviews, as always, are loved! :o)**

Greg paced the floor of the break room speaking into his cell phone animatedly. Nick strained his ears to make out what he was saying, he was talking so fast it was almost incomprehensible and Sara smiled over her coffee cup at his confused expression. A stranger would have assumed he was speaking a foreign language the way he was carrying on, he could only assume his friend had got some exciting news.

Nick seized the opportunity to fish under the counter for Greg's 'secret' stash of posh coffee. If he was going to be pre-occupied with a call he may as well take advantage of the lull in his strange need to police the use of it. Anything would taste better than the lab issued sludge but Greg's special brew always cast a warm glow over them as they sunk into the soft chairs and let the liquid work its magic. He brewed himself and Sara a mug and sat beside her watching Greg's exaggerated and wholly unnecessary hand gestures and nods.

"Who's he talking to?" Nick's curiosity got the better of him when Sara passed him that knowing smile of hers.

"Some girl, it's been 30 minutes and counting…."

"A girl, he's talking to a girlfriend? At work?" he wasn't sure why that surprised him, he remembered a time when Greg had been in the habit of collecting DNA samples from all his dates and analyzing them in the lab. The boy had some issues.

"Not a girlfriend. Some girl from his hometown…. So far I have gathered that she will be in town soon for something and he's taking her to lunch."

"And the other 29 minutes?" Nick asked with a smile. Greg had turned to eye them suspiciously, obviously aware of their scrutiny. He ended the call with a smile and flopped down in a spare chair.

Sara raised an eyebrow and regarded Greg suspiciously. "I have no idea"

Greg's grin was wide and excited and nothing he could do would suppress it as he looked at his two friends. He had been handed a golden opportunity, Caitlyn was one of his best friends from back home. She was the one he called twice a week, who always had time to meet him and drink too much beer when he visited, who laughed at all his jokes. She was also 'the one that got away', the one who he had secretly held a candle for since he was a scrawny, geeky teen and she was the only girl he had the ability to form words with. "It's rude to stare you know?"

"We were just wondering when you started speaking Russian Greg, that's a skill"

"You are just jealous because I have a date tomorrow - Caitlyn's in town"

Nick had no idea who Caitlyn was but apparently Sara did. Her throaty chuckle filled the room.

"Caitlyn? From San Gabriel, Caitlyn? The one who went to school with you and knows your mother?" Greg nodded in response to all her questions "that's not a date Greg, she's practically related!"

"Well I am taking her to lunch and she's staying at my apartment for a few days. We'll see how related we are after that!"

By the time shift was drawing to a close Nick felt like he knew more about this girl than her own mother did. A combination of a quiet shift and an over-excited Greg meant he had spent a large portion of the day going over old files in the break room with Greg's voice as the only soundtrack. It was almost guaranteed that after an insanely quiet night a B and E would be called in right before shift change. The only consolation being it appeared to be a straight forward case, they processed the scene and logged the evidence and although it took them into overtime they were finished by lunch. Greg put a call in to the elusive Caitlyn asking her to meet him at the lab before he grabbed a shower in the locker room.

It was a dull, grim day when Nick finally trudged out of the lab. The cloud settled heavy over the skyline threatening to cover the city in rain. Not that it would have much effect on him until later; he intended to do nothing but collapse into bed this afternoon. He slung his jacket over his shoulders, fighting the shiver across his body as the chill hit him and watched as a beat up old Honda screeched into the parking lot.

Music blared from the windows and the driver pulled up near the steps and gazed out of the window with a confused expression on her face. He knew right away it was Caitlyn based on the description Greg had offered all night. She faltered with the handle and almost fell out of the door, a cascade of papers following her and she heaved her purse out of the window and muttered to herself.

"Uhh hi, can you help me please?" she asked distractedly, slipping her wayward hair behind her ear and fighting with her seatbelt.

He took the few steps down into the parking lot with a smile, Greg had described her as a whirlwind but he hadn't expected a natural disaster and yet he was drawn to her somehow. He could have easily helped her from his position by the stairs, he could have nodded in her direction and retreated to his car but something made him move closer to her. Something about her intrigued him, like the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the morning; even if you can't have a sip the temptation to inhale its glorious scent was always too much to resist. Her smile lit her features as she matched his expression and tucked more loose hair behind her ear.

"I'm looking for the Las Vegas crime lab… I'm meeting my friend there. You know for a city big on signs it's not very well sign posted!" she hazarded a glance around, trying to get her bearings.

Nick reached out his hand to her with a friendly smile "you must be Caitlyn, I'm Nick Stokes and you found the lab pretty well without signs"

She untangled herself from her purse and placed her hand in his and met his eye for no more than a second, she looked away with a strange shyness that he found instantly endearing.

"I followed a police car actually but he just went to a donut stall so I had to wing it from there"

She wrapped her arms around her shoulders, shivering in the cold air; her teeth drew lightly over her bottom lip.

"Come on in and I'll find Greg, you should have brought a jacket" he ushered her through into the foyer shaking off the forbidden thoughts running through his mind.

"Well I thought since Nevada was a Desert it was probably hot"

He had lost count of the amount of people who took the climate in Vegas for granted. True, it was hot and dry most of the time but they had their fair share of cold weather and rainfall. He signed the form for her visitors pass. Judy eyed them suspiciously as he passed the laminated card to her. This time she held his eye a little longer. Nick guided Caitlyn through the corridors towards the locker room in search of Greg.

"Yeah, a lot of people seem to think that. Like they assume in Texas everyone walk's about in chaps and cowboy hats" he smiled at her as she fell into step beside him.

"You mean they don't?" she asked with faked surprise.

Before he could compose a suitably sarcastic comeback she was gone from his side and throwing herself into Greg's out stretched arms. Nick suddenly felt like a spare wheel as he watched Greg twirl her around and then hold her at arm's length to look her over. She placed her hands on either side of his face and kissed his cheek.

"I missed your face Sandy!"

Nick found it very hard to stifle the laugh bubbling up at his nickname but Greg threw him a warning glare over Caitlyn's shoulder.

"I missed you too, you ready for lunch?" she nodded her response as Sara appeared beside them "oh I invited Sara too, hope that's ok?"

"Of course it is!" Sara offered her hand to Caitlyn and the two women smiled at each other and shook hands.

"What is this a private party? I gotta eat too you know!" Nick wasn't sure whether to be actually offended at the lack of invitation or not, the truth was that he was intrigued by Greg's friend as much as it was completely inappropriate. The smile she gave to him really didn't help, he found himself seeking out her eye contact as the four of them walked together to the diner.

If Greg noticed he didn't let it show, lunch passed uneventfully with easy conversation and probably a little too much wine. It had been a long time since any of them had headed out for a boozy lunch. Vegas was the perfect town to work night shifts in especially since the development of 'day clubs' there was no such thing as down time. Before they knew what was happening they were fully embracing the club scene, Consumed by the booze, the music and the atmosphere.

The air was thick and hot as the club filled up, people crammed into every available space and the bar was Jam packed. Sara made her excuses when the line for the ladies bathroom snaked out onto the dance floor and Greg had made a new friend in the form of a leggy blonde with glitter covering every available surface and not much else. Every now and again he would send a beaming smile Nick's way from the dance floor as he swung her around in his arms and entertained her friends.

Caitlyn had disappeared some time ago, he figured she was lost to the bathroom line but out of the corner of his eye he spotted her on the other end of the bar. The glances they had been exchanging all day had become increasingly meaningful but as she met his eye across the crowded bar she expressed something entirely different, her sultry smile and lust filled eyes enticed and enchanted him. He couldn't look away, his eyes locked with hers and the packed club seemed to fade into the background, the thumping sound of the bass faded to a whisper, there was only her.

Nick moved away from the bar, intending to take her up on the look in her eyes but as he pushed through the throng of people to where he thought she was he only found she had vanished again.

"hi, you're pretty" a small red head smiled at him from the bar, she was clearly very drunk, clutching her drink as though it was holding her up. Her voice wobbled as she attempted to stroke his arm with a flirty expression in her eye.

"Thanks, did you see the girl who was here a second ago? Purple top, dark hair?"

"Are you kidding me?" she seemed suddenly irate, her hands flailing about and a frown on her face "I'm hitting on you and you're asking me about another girl? What do you not want to get laid?"

He stared at the woman in shock, not quite registering what she had just said until she smiled up at him and twisted her hair around her finger. Vegas was just full of classy ladies apparently, he was willing to bet she was a tourist. He spotted Caitlyn in the center of the dance floor, smiling and laughing with another man. His hands around her waist and then stroking her arm as she danced, he felt a pang of jealousy. That should be him with his body against her, that should be him swinging her around and hearing her laugh in his ear.

While he was lost in his thoughts and nursing his drink he didn't notice her careering towards him and almost throwing her body at him as the other man twirled her around. She swung her arms around his neck, her lips almost brushing the bottom of his earlobe. The electricity that coursed through him was almost paralyzing, as much as he wanted to raise his hands and grasp her waist or stroke her hair he just couldn't do anything.

"Get me out of here!" she whispered.

The man held fast to her hand, swinging her back to him as she looked at Nick with a pleading expression. He took that as a green light to 'cut in' and whisk her away from his clutches. The next time he had her at arm's length, Nick slid his arm around her waist and steered her in the direction of the bar.

"Thank you, he was not going to leave me alone!" she tried to whisper in his ear but the sound disappeared into the thumping music.

She smiled at him as she leaned on the bar by his side and waved the barman over, he placed two shots on the bar in front of them and she met his eye with a menacing smile. Their tiny glasses clinked together; she didn't drop her gaze from his for a second as they polished off the liquid. It burned down his throat, making him wince a little as he struggled to hold it down. Bringing back an entire days' worth of food and alcohol was not a good look.

"Come dance with me" she pleaded

He started to shake his head in protest but she ran her hand along his arm and grasped his hand with a smile, pulling him towards the mess of tangled bodies worshipping the DJ in his little box. She pulled him behind her weaving in and out of the crowds until they found a space and his conscious thought seemed to have been left at the bar as he watched her move her body with the music. He seemed to have lost control of his own body, his hand lightly ran down the length of her spine and it somehow assumed a huge magnitude.

They were just dancing, it wasn't really a sexual act and yet the feeling of her hip under his hand seemed to be incredibly intimate, the way she met his eye or ran her hands along his arms sent shivers rushing all over him, her breath on his neck seemed to envelop him in a cloud of cocktail scented splendor. It was hypnotizing to witness, her body pressed against his every so often sending shockwaves to the very tips of his toes.

Sexual tension settled over them like a cloak, wrapping them in its warm embrace and destroying their inhibitions. Her body settled against his, her back pressing against his chest and her head rolling back to rest on his shoulder. He ran his hand down the length of her frame resting it gently on her hip. He turned his head towards her, inhaling the scent of her perfume on the exposed skin of her neck. Without thinking his spare hand slid the strap of her dress across her shoulder and placed a slow kiss on the crook of her neck. Her hand ran through his hair, pulling him closer to her and letting a shiver of a sigh escape her lips.

They returned to the bar and assumed the very same position they had been in earlier; the barman passed them two more shots without being asked. It didn't burn as much this time, his throat was probably still numb from the last one. When he placed his glass back down his hand brushed against hers. He almost felt like his heart stopped along with everything else in the room as he met her eye. There was something different there, something enticing and inviting that drew him in and pulled him towards her. Slowly the space between them reduced, her hand found his leg and rested there like it was the most natural place for it to be. He leaned closer, his lips lingering so close to hers he could almost taste them.

He had been trying hard to restrain himself from this moment; he had tried to deny his attraction to her through his loyalty to Greg. The alcohol, the atmosphere and the fact that right now she was just proving to be too irresistible made for a dangerous cocktail of emotions.

Her eyes sparkled in the darkness, like a night sky full of stars; he was hypnotized by the promises in them and the feeling of her skin against his fingers. He drew his hand to her face, his thumb brushing the soft hair draping by her cheek and stroking the silky skin.

"Guys, I… I love you" Greg's arms draped over both their shoulders, his face becoming a barrier between them as he struggled to stay upright. "I love you the most Nick"

"Oh god, are you ok Greg?" he looked a little green around the gills and suddenly Greg lost his lunch and every alcoholic beverage he had consumed that day all over the bar.

Between them they somehow managed to get him home in between his singing and slurred declarations of love. He found it hilariously funny when Caitlyn fished in his pockets for his keys, running a hand through her hair and grinning inanely at her.

"I love you Cait" he slung his arm around her shoulder, almost making her tumble to the ground.

"I love you too Sandy, let's get you to bed"

Her hands trembled as she struggled with the keys in the lock and Greg launched himself to the living room floor. They man handled him into the bedroom with much difficulty, his hands seemed to suddenly be everywhere, Nick was sure he had even tried to kiss him at one point. Caitlyn bundled him into bed and Nick removed his shoes.

"but I reeeeaaalllly love you Cait, we should get married!" he slung one arm around her neck and pulled her face close to his but she carefully uncurled his arm from her, only for him to lace his fingers between hers and gaze into her eyes. Nick was beginning to think there was possibly a lot more truth to drunken Greg's ramblings than Greg would like them to believe and that didn't bode well for him ever being able to taste Caitlyn's lips on his.

"We're not getting married Greg, go to sleep"

"Are you going to sleep with me Cait?" his eyes were already closed but his hand remained firmly clutched around hers. "Cause that would be awesome"

Nick couldn't help but laugh at the desperation in her eyes as she tried to wriggle her hand free from his, eventually pulling free with a pop and ending up on the floor. Her drunken giggles reverberated off the walls as Nick helped her up, they soon dissolved into the air when she stood and met his eye. His hand held onto her elbow, satisfied with the contact but the moment seemed to fizz and spark as they just stood there like someone had pressed the pause button.

"Guys!" Greg shouted as loud as he could even though they were all in the same room before he dropped his voice again and stared at them through narrowed eyes "shhhhhhhh I'm sleeping with Caitlyn…"

They both stood in the doorway regarding drunken Greg falling into a deep slumber at a ridiculous angle in the bed. The moment was gone, his thoughts were now monopolized by the fact that his friend was in love with this girl. There was suddenly a boundary between them they couldn't cross and they both knew it. Caitlyn walked him to the front door and watched him with a soft smile as he made his way to the stairs.

"I had a great time tonight…"

"Me too, we should do it again sometime" he said it before he realized how it sounded, in his head it was merely a polite phrase but as the words became reality they developed a whole different meaning. "Uh… the four of us I mean"

She nodded her understanding, he was sure her eyes dulled slightly with the disappointment. Without thinking he reached out and took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. The kiss he placed on the back of her hand was almost a promise, a secret between the two of them, an acknowledgement that there was something brewing between them that neither of them could yet understand.

"Goodnight Nicky, see you around"

She pressed the door closed leaving a heavy sadness in the air. There was something so genuinely depressing about connecting with someone on that level and knowing nothing could come of it. He almost felt like he had left a piece of his heart behind with her, a piece he could never get back.


	2. Chapter 2

Greg genuinely felt like he had been run over numerous times through the night, before being genetically modified to have super hearing that made the tiniest sound thud through his brain. The coffee machine slowly percolating in the living room and the sound of breakfast TV felt like it was crushing his brain as he carefully swung his legs out of the bed. He didn't remember much about last night at all, a vague image of a blonde girl hovered around in his subconscious and he wondered if it could be her outside making all that noise.

The sunlight streamed in through the window's bathing his apartment in a warm yellow glow. Caitlyn held a steaming mug of coffee between both her hands and was slouched into the chair by the window watching him slink out of his bedroom and screw is eyes up at the light.

"Wow, you look how I feel!" she smiled, somehow looking almost human despite their antics.

"I wish I felt how you looked, I need coffee" he heaved himself towards the coffee machine, trying hard to suppress the urge to run into the bathroom and spend the day sobbing over the toilet bowl. With his coffee in his trembling hands he took the chair opposite her and shook his head as she smiled at him.

"what did you do to me last night?" he accused. the coffee tasted remarkably like tar as it slid slowly down his throat, he knew it was his special brew, it looked like his special brew, it even smelled like his special brew but he had burned any description of taste buds last night with copious amounts of alcohol.

She didn't grace his question with an answer, just continued to watch him with a soft knowing smile as she basked in the sunshine. She was dressed surprisingly formal for someone who really should be incredibly hung-over.

"You're all dressed up… you got a date?"

"I have my meeting today, I could have a job by dinner time!" she beamed. Caitlyn had worked for the San Gabriel department of family services for so many years he was sure she could name every child in the city by sight yet nerves still plagued her when it came to interviews. The fact that she had been actively head hunted by the Vegas department apparently went unnoticed to her.

At the mention of dinner he glanced at his watch, it was already 4pm and he was on shift tonight. While the coffee made him feel slightly more human he had a lot of work to do before he could present himself at the lab as a responsible member of society.

"I'll meet you after and take you to dinner to celebrate, we'll say… 6 o'clock?" he grinned as he headed back to his room without waiting for an answer.

It took all his powers of self-control not to fall back into bed and sleep of the remnants of the night before and his escalating hangover. Instead he stood under the hot stream of water from the shower and prayed that he could make it through the next 14 hours without the grim reaper claiming his poor, alcohol soaked brain. He was sure if he was asked at any point to think too much he would probably pass out.

He wouldn't normally have made the effort to find a nice shirt or a tie, he would have slipped on a t-shirt and headed to work looking about as professional as he felt but since he was taking Caitlyn out to dinner he settled on his favorite charcoal suit and white shirt. Caitlyn probably wouldn't even notice, she had seen him much worse. If she would still be seen with him when he was gothing it up there wasn't much he could do to embarrass her. Peering in the mirror he realized that he didn't scrub up too bad. He might actually be able to pull off professionalism at work later, as long as Nick managed to keep his mouth shut.

He pulled up to family services not entirely convinced he should be driving at all, his head was still pounding, his vision still unstable and his hands still trembling. He silently vowed never to drink again and tapped out a text message to Sara to that effect as he waited.

Caitlyn arrived as he was in a full scale text messaging debate with Sara over whether he would, in fact, drink again. He grinned into his phone as she tapped the window and slid into the seat beside him.

"How did it go?" he asked cautiously, trying to read her expression in advance.

"I start next week!" she beamed "My reputation proceeds' me apparently, and I know the boss. I just have to find somewhere to live!"

"That's awesome! It would have been kinda hard to celebrate you not getting a job! And you can stay with me as long as you need"

He half hoped she would need to stay with him for a long time. It was all too easy to fall into that comfortable friendship they had enjoyed through the years, he had forgotten what it felt like to have her around, to have someone to reminisce with and laugh with. He liked waking up to see her silhouetted in the sunlight with her legs tucked under her and a wistful expression on her face, it felt familiar and comfortable, it felt like that's exactly where she should be.

He knew he would like coming home to her in the morning even if they would be ships passing in the night with their conflicting shift patterns. He did run a genuine risk of falling right into the dreaded 'friend zone', history with a person could be a great tool in seduction but it could also be a hindrance.

"Thanks, so should we set a date now or have an extended engagement?" she teased with a smile.

"What?" he wondered if he was really hung-over enough to be suffering conscious memory lapses.

"Oh are you going to play that old card? You know, Nick witnessed your proposal!" she smiled, fiddling with the radio station as he stared at her with a bewildered expression. He probably should have been focusing purely on the fact that he had proposed to her but instead only one thought swam about in his brain.

"He came home with you last night?" he wracked his brain for some miniscule form of recollection but came up blank.

"Well I couldn't exactly carry you home by myself; you had lost the use of your legs and turned into an octopus!" she was enjoying this far too much, his indignity only made worse by her smiling at him in amusement.

Humiliation washed over him, it had been a long time since he had lost control like that at the hands of alcohol. He blamed a long shift and a light lunch and he had a feeling he knew exactly why leggy blonde had disappeared if that's how intoxicated he was.

"I'm sorry, I'm never drinking again" he groaned.

"Oh I bet you are! Anyway I kinda liked your declarations of love; I especially liked you serenading the cab driver" she laughed "you did Bruno Marrs proud Sandy!"

The shame hung in the air as she teased and they drove to the restaurant and shared a meal. He felt altogether more human when they stepped out into the darkening night. He slung his arm around her shoulders as they wandered toward the car talking about prom night and old school friends.

It was beautiful, comfortable and familiar yet there was something new brewing. A feeling he couldn't suppress, a longing he had held for a very long time only now it had assumed a huge magnitude and he couldn't ignore it anymore. He couldn't pinpoint a pivotal moment where she had become more than a friend to him, he couldn't specifically remember when he started looking at her with lust in his eyes but he couldn't shake it now. he couldn't let her slip away again and find someone else.

Greg drove her home before he headed to shift, passing her his key as he pulled up outside the apartment building. His mouth was suddenly dry, his palms clammy as he tried to work up the courage to say the things he had been thinking for way too long.

"I'll get you your own key tomorrow… since you're staying in town" he smiled.

"Thanks Greg, I really have missed you"

She leaned towards him to kiss his cheek, her skin brushing against his just a little longer than he would have liked. Whether it was alcohol from the previous night or the way her presence seemed to possess him he wasn't sure but something made him tilt his head slightly and meet her mouth, something made his hand slide behind her head and through her silky hair as he caressed her lips, coaxing them apart ever so gently so that he could taste the raspberries from the cheesecake they had shared after dinner.

The air seemed to be sucked out of the car completely; he could barely breathe when she responded to his kiss and his touches. Her hand gently pressed on his chest, she could probably feel his heart thudding through his shirt with exhilaration but after a few long moments she pushed him away, slowly and gently as though she didn't really want to break the contact but felt like she should.

"Greg… I'm not sure that's a good idea…"

As much as he willed himself to say something, as much as he wanted to tell her it was the best idea he had ever had, he seemed to be unable to form the words. Instead he just looked at her, looked right into her eyes as she shook her head and left him in the car. It wasn't a rejection, she wasn't repulsed that he'd tried to cross the line but it still felt like he had thrown his one chance away.

He drove away as Caitlyn stood at the foot of the stairs watching him. she couldn't think of a time when she'd ever looked at Greg that way, she had never felt his lips against hers, she had never slept beside him like she did last night. it was overwhelming and a little frightening. She wondered if she could make herself cross the line with her best friend at the risk of losing everything they had built over countless years. As much as she wanted to there was a niggling doubt in the corner of her mind.

Nick loitered at the front door, unsure of exactly what he was doing there. He clenched and unclenched his fists as he paced trying to subdue the rush of memories hitting him when he spotted her running up the stairs towards him. He should have just asked Greg to bring his jacket with him to work, it wasn't that important. She didn't notice him until she was almost right by his side. Her eyes fixed on his shoes in surprise before she raised her gaze to meet his.

"I left my jacket here last night, I just wanted to…"

She ushered him inside with a glance behind her, choosing not to speak to him and slammed the door closed, he wasn't very sure what was going on at all. He stood in the center of the room like a naughty child and watched as she pressed her eyes closed and leaned heavily against the door with a deep sigh.

"Hey, you ok? I can come back you know…"

For the second time that day she chose not to speak to him instead shaking her head and turning away from his concerned gaze to face the door. He stood and watched as she fought with whatever torment was making her act like a crazy person and he had no idea what to do. He'd only known her for a day, he wasn't entirely sure holding her in his arms would be appropriate especially considering he was actively trying to avoid physical contact with her.

He drew a hand over his face and through his hair in an attempt to conjure up some inspiration and took a step towards her. A storm was brewing in his subconscious as he fought with himself about what to do, he knew that clearing the space between them and comforting her would open a can of worms he had decided to bury last night. He had silently vowed to himself and promised to Greg that she was forbidden fruit. No matter how much he wanted to he couldn't taste her, no matter how sweet he knew it would be he would never savor her body. He reached out his hand to her shoulder and it was then he realized she was sobbing softly, forehead pressed against the back of the door as the tears slowly snaked their way down her cheek like glistening streams of her sorrow.

He didn't need to over analyze it anymore, he turned her around and held her close, her face burrowed into his shoulder and her sobs disappeared into his skin as he attempted to draw her pain away. His hand stroked her hair and gently grazed the base of her spine; it occurred to him that he could happily hold her like that forever. He didn't think he could ever get tired of holding her body so close to his, like she was when they were dancing only then she had been happy and free and positively sparkling in the darkness, right now she was dull and broken and he didn't know why.

His whispers of comfort dwindled into her hair but they must have worked, she slowly pulled away from him and looked into his eyes.

"I'm so sorry; you must think I'm crazy!"

She sat heavily on the armchair and ran a hand through her hair, staring at the floor as though searching for something.

"I don't think you're crazy" he muttered, trying his best to comfort her while he was still terribly confused about the source of her upset.

"I do! I must be, I am always doing the stupidest things you know?"

"Not really…" he smiled and took the chair across from her resting his elbows on his knees and leaning towards her. "Is this about last night?"

She nodded weakly and played with the necklace nestling in the hollow of her neck. Her hands trembled as she struggled to find the words she needed. Her eyes searched for his as his hands enclosed hers. he had hoped that in the cold light of day, without the smoke screen of alcohol she wouldn't have the same effect on him. he was wrong, the intensity he felt when he looked into her eyes was just as powerful here as it was the night before.

"I had such a fantastic time…" she whispered, leaning in close and making the words settle on his ears.

"so did I" Nick's tone matched her own as he studied her expression intently. Memorizing the hues of brown and green in her eyes, the pinkness flushing her cheeks and the way her lips parted ever so slightly to let her breath escape. His hand reached out to her, stroking the soft, pale skin of her cheek, her hair lacing through his fingers, curling around them like ivy. She pressed her eyes closed, her breathing becoming steadily more ragged as her tongue moistened her lips. He wanted to taste them, in that moment his only thought was that of her lips on his. He couldn't think of anything else. Her hand rested on his chest, a slight sigh escaping her lips as she almost held him back.

"he… he kissed me…" she muttered, her breath brushing the tiny hairs on his neck as she released her hold on him and gently grazed the side of her face against his.

It took all his powers of self control not to tilt her head and kiss her himself. Her words seemed to linger in the air between them, neither of them making any effort to remove themselves from the situation they were in. he could feel her eyelashes flickering against his cheek, the silkiness of her skin against his was enchanting as he carefully ran his hands from her waist to the plains of her back.

Her heart was racing, he could feel it through her blouse as he pulled her closer into the embrace. Her arms slowly snaked around his neck, she was surrendering to him. he had complete control but doubt niggled in his mind.

"that's what upset you?" he couldn't help but ask, the words had formed on his lips before he had the chance to remind himself he already knew the answer. She pulled herself from his grip, curling her knees up across her body like a shield.

"I don't know what upset me….Greg is… he's everything any girl could want. He's sweet and romantic and loyal and funny…" a small nostalgic smile crossed her features and he realized sadly that he had already lost her.

"ok I get it" he mumbled, increasing the space between them.

"I slept beside him Nick, I lay in his bed and listened to his breathing, I could feel his heartbeat, I could feel his warmth and I … I want to do that. I want to lie beside him … and wake up beside him"

A lump slowly built up in Nick's throat as he attempted to keep a straight face, biting back the words that were sitting on his tongue. A sharp pain stretched across his chest cavity as he took in her form, his hands curled up in fists to stop them shaking. A part of him felt like laughing out loud at the universe for letting him believe that she could love him back. That she could ever want him. But he remained silent as he realized that this was Greg they were talking about. A friend who had never done anything but support him and help him throughout the years they had known each other. Someone who may love her in the way she loved him.

"Then why don't you, you know he loves you. He said as much last night" the words seemed to slide of his tongue so easily despite them burning his throat. He didn't want to tell her to go to him, it felt wrong when he wanted nothing more than to hold her in his own arms.

"Because I want that with you too…" her eyes were wide with honesty, tears shimmered on the surface threatening to break free if she dared to blink. His heart raced, she felt the same way, and their connection hadn't been a figment of his imagination. "If I feel this way about both of you, there's no way I genuinely feel it for either of you"

In that moment Nick realized that the disappointment was going to linger in his blood stream, flashing in his mind every time he saw her because he had to let her go.

He was the source of her confusion, there was no doubt in his mind that had Greg left shift at normal time or had she found the lab without asking his help that she would have found herself in Greg's arms a lot earlier. If he hadn't been the one walking down those steps everything would have been different. Every decision he had made had somehow led to heartache but he could fix this one, all he had to do was walk away. There was no need for 3 people to be miserable when there was really only reason for one of them to be.

So he left her, he grabbed his jacket and silently left the apartment without a single word. At the door he glanced back at her with a heavy heart. She looked so beautiful there by the window, the moonlight casting a romantic silver glow over her features. Her tears sparkled like stars as she turned her head to meet his eye. They didn't need to utter a word, they both knew what this meant, it was over before it even had the chance to get started.

She was meant to be with Greg, she was meant to be happy and contented in his arms. It was never supposed to be him.


	3. Chapter 3

Nick drove to the lab in a haze of unsurfaced emotions. He had never felt such a strong connection with someone before; she had infected his mind completely. Nothing he could do would give him relief from thinking about her. About the way she chewed on her bottom lip or tucked her hair behind her ear. He had somehow memorized ridiculously tiny details about her, like the line of freckles on her wrist or that unique sparkle in her eye. He couldn't stand the way she monopolized his thoughts, it seemed to be underlined by the fact that he couldn't have her.

Greg was in the break room pretending to read a newspaper when he came in, he knew he was pretending by the way he peered over the edge of the paper to watch him move around the room with a suspicion that made him feel uncomfortable.

"What is it Greg?"

"I'm trying to gauge whether you remember last night" he remarked quietly from behind his shield.

Nick sat down and regarded his friend, his loyal unassuming friend, seated across from him, his newspaper still hiding most of his face from view. He had done the right thing walking away from Caitlyn, Greg deserved to be happy.

"Well I'm not gonna marry if you if that's what you're asking man" he smiled.

Greg dropped the newspaper onto the table followed by his face. Nick couldn't help but laugh at his amateur dramatics, his over exaggerated humiliation was entertaining at least. Greg groaned into the newspaper and sat up again, his face smeared with print.

"I totally messed up with Caitlyn didn't I?"

His heart tied itself in knots knowing that he was about to encourage Greg to go for it with her. It seemed wrong for him to say those words when all he really wanted to do was warn him off.

"No, no you didn't. You'll be ok" he assured him quietly.

"I chased another girl and proposed to a man… how can that be ok?"

"Because it will be, ok? Just, trust me"

Greg wished he could believe him, that he had the same faith as his friend that everything would work out for the best. He had potentially thrown away a perfectly good relationship on the off chance that he could take her to his bed. There was every possibility that she would have been so scared off by his advances that she would never speak to him again.

A knot of nervous energy wound itself in his stomach as the shift came to an end and he faced the prospect of going home to an empty house. He wasn't sure what worried him most, the thought of her leaving or the thought of her staying. She had held a place in his heart for many years but he had always been able to suppress it, it had always been burning slowly in the background. For some reason this visit had been different, for some reason the flickering flame had become a raging inferno the second he laid eyes on her. He wasn't sure he could meet her eye again without having that reaction.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and took a moment to compose himself outside his door before he went inside. There was a lot riding on this moment.

He was immediately hit by the glorious scent of home cooking; the stove was filled with pots bubbling with all kinds of concoctions he couldn't identify. This was a surprising turn of events; she appeared from the bedroom with his novelty 'kiss the cook' apron wound around her. It had never looked that good on him.

"You're home! I'm cooking" she smiled, dancing over to the stove nervously avoiding his eye contact.

"You made …meat – my favorite!" he declared as he tried to identify the food bubbling and hissing on the stove. He took up position beside her and dutifully tasted the sauce she had whipped up. Her hand touching his face gently as she moved the spoon towards him.

"It's the filling for the pie Greg and it is your favorite" She met his eye then, as she brought the spoon to his lips with a coy smile and he felt a shiver of anticipation capture him.

Soon they were seated across from each other eating their meal, he had always loved her cooking ever since they were teenagers she had been a gifted cook. They used to sneak into her place at lunch time and she would create culinary masterpieces from whatever was in the fridge. It helped of course that her parents owned a restaurant; their fridge was never empty even if her home frequently was.

"Well…?" she ventured "is everything to your taste, Sir?"

He matched her wicked smile as he savored the flavors melting on his tongue.

"Isn't it always? I always told you to become a chef"

"And waste my life slaving over a hot stove in a tiny kitchen being berated by customers at ridiculous hours? No thanks, I cook for fun!" she grinned.

She should know, as soon as she was considered old enough her mother had put her to work in her restaurant. She was a firm favorite with the middle aged gentlemen who propped up the bar on a Friday night and Caitlyn's mom knew it.

"Well you do a good job" he raised his glass towards her, clinking them together to raise a toast. "To the best personal chef in Las Vegas"

"Flattery won't work on me Sandy, I know too much about you already" she teased.

"That should really make me even more irresistible Cait"

She rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair, twirling the wine around in her glass as she watched him. He couldn't be sure just yet but there was something telling him Caitlyn was coming round to the idea of progressing their relationship. The glint in her eye and the teasing tone of her voice gave him butterflies.

Being a gentleman, he gathered up the plates when they finished eating and filled the sink. It was only fair that he cleaned up since she had cooked, even if he was normally in the practice of leaving it until he had no plates left to use. He poured her another glass of wine, her fourth of the evening. Caitlyn hopped up beside him on the worktop watching his every move. He briefly wondered if women found rubber gloves sexy, especially the pink ones his mother had so kindly left for him. Next time he resolved he would buy his own, manly, gloves.

"Do you remember that weekend we went into LA?" she began with a soft smile as she studied his face.

"An hour on the 76A? Of course I remember!" he flicked some bubbles towards her, the memory of one of their many ill-fated adventures coming to the forefront of his mind.

"And your mom had to come pick us up after that guy scammed you of all your money?"

His mother had berated him for months afterwards, forbidding him from any contact with her since she was a bad influence on him. He had lasted less than a day before he was sneaking out his bedroom window and meeting her in the playground after dark for some more mischief.

"yeah well, two 13 year old kids alone in LA was never going to end well was it?" the smile had dropped from her face and she stared into the bubbles until his gaze burned into her and she was forced to meet his eye "what's that got to do with cleaning the plates?"

"Well nothing, really" she smiled nervously. "I've just been thinking a lot today. About us… about … you" she held his eye contact, the moment filled with hidden meaning.

His heart skipped a beat as he looked at her again, sitting there before him with her hands gripping the edge of the counter. He placed the last plate on the rack and pulled the towel from the hook behind her. He was sure she took a sharp intake of breath as he leaned towards her and dried his hands. She sought his eye contact, his body moving closer to her position until he was standing directly in front of her legs.

"You know, it's always dangerous when you start thinking. I usually end up getting in trouble!" he smiled, holding her loaded eye contact.

"Don't you dare mister!" She smirked after displaying her mock annoyance. "I'm not the only one who knows how to get in to trouble..."

He couldn't honestly remember a time where anything they had ever got into trouble for had been his idea. He had been a good kid, his rebellion didn't start till college and even then she was there, on the sidelines, egging him on.

"Well then...I guess we make a good pair..." He met her eye again, an undeniable smile playing on his lips.

"I guess we do..." She almost sighed before she forced herself to get back together.

His hands rested either side of hers, for a moment everything seemed to pause. The whole world seemed to still as he stood there, looking into her eyes with an expression he hoped would sum up everything he was feeling right now. The rush of emotions was overwhelming; he could barely breathe when he pushed his body closer to her in an attempt to clear the space between them.

"Greg…" she muttered, nerves making her voice tremble. Their breath seemed to loiter in the air, mixing together as he waited for her to do something, to give him permission to cross the boundary again "you're going to miss your moment…"

"What are you talking about?" he murmured under his breath.

His eyes quickly scanned her body and searched her eyes for reassurance; she held her breath and separated her legs, the last boundary between them gone.

"If this was a movie this would be the part where you kiss me…"

The air settled between them like the start of a rainstorm, heavy and filled with anticipation. A cloud of atmosphere was closing in all around them. He lingered close to her, feeling the heat of her body. His heart pounded in his chest as he closed the gap between them, her tongue moistened her lips in anticipation and her sigh filled the air as his hand gently stroked her hair away from her face.

He teased her lips apart gently, dancing his own across the sweetness of her soft, pink lips. In that instant she surrendered to him completely and the floodgates were opened making their passion come crashing through the boundaries in all its fiery glory.

His lips devoured her kisses hungrily, her hands moved from clutching the worktop to stroking the back of his neck, her legs wound around his waist pulling him closer to her body until he was pushed against her and the passion enveloped them in its embrace within seconds. His hands roamed her body, not daring to venture where he hadn't been invited. Their gasping breaths danced in the air adding to the heat of the moment.

Without a word she slipped his shirt over his shoulders and drew her hands over the contours of his back, their lips only breaking contact for the time it took to exchange a silent understanding and he cupped his hands under her body moving into the bedroom with her wound entirely around him.

He took one more look into her eyes as he laid her back on the bed, one last request for permission as he peeled back the straps of her dress, following the exposed skin with his lips. He had dreamed about this moment, created an elaborate fantasy to this effect. He had imagined what her skin would taste like or how it would feel to draw his hands across the smooth skin of her body, it didn't disappoint, in fact it made him hunger for more. He wanted to cover her body with the tracks of his kisses until there was no part of her untouched by his lips.

She murmured her approval as his fingers lightly danced along the edge of her lace panties, but her hands grasped his belt and brought his lips back to hers as she fumbled with the button on his trousers. He met her eye as his trembling hands removed her bra and gently caressed the taut skin of her breasts before dipping his head to lightly stroke his tongue over her nipples and gratefully receive the moan bubbling up from her abdomen in ecstasy.

He marveled at how he could melt her under his touch, how her body molded into his as he hovered over her ready to take his prize. She trembled under him, her breath tickling his neck as she clung to his back desperately waiting for him to make his move. He could feel her heart pounding in her chest as he pressed his body against her, the clamminess of their skin evaporating like drops of dew in the morning sun.

He loved the way her eyes darkened with lust when he pushed into her, the way her breath gasped and quivered and the way her hands gripped around his shoulders just a little tighter as she raised her hips to meet his movement.

The rush of emotions he had been feeling washed over him like waves beating against the shore, he couldn't seem to bring her close enough, and he couldn't get enough of her sighs and moans. He wanted it to last forever, wanted to stay there teetering on the edge. Relishing that feeling of being so close to the absolution yet holding back and savoring the warmth radiating over his body with ever intensifying power as she writhed under him was almost overwhelming.

She was pleading with him, to end it, to bring her with him as he crashed into oblivion. Her arched back and gasped cries of his name sent shivers down his spine until he couldn't fight it anymore. His passion flared like the flames burning inside him, suddenly rushing over him with unequivocal power and he surrendered to her. Every fiber of his body seemed to collapse into her and she pulled him close, clinging onto him so that he was pressed against her body as the shuddering power gripped him and lights danced in front of his eyes.

He wrapped her in his arms and settled back onto the soft pillows with a satisfied smile, the culmination of his suppressed emotion had been worth the wait. Their breathing slowly returned to normal and she twisted around to look at him from her position nestled in the crook of his arm.

"You know we owe James $100 now?"

Greg was momentarily confused, here they were basking in their post coital afterglow and she was thinking about their old friend James. His hand absentmindedly stroked her arm, pausing for a second to try and follow the conversation.

"Why on earth are you thinking of James right now?" he cried, staring down at her with a frown.

She propped herself up on her elbow and smiled sweetly at him. He was sure she was going somewhere with this, he and James had been good friends in school but their friendship hadn't survived college.

"Do you remember in the 9th grade when he asked me to freshman prom?"

"This keeps getting better and better…!" he teased. He knew that she didn't go with him; their friendship almost didn't survive that particular bout of jealousy on his part.

"Hear me out!" she laughed, brushing her lips on his for a second to silence his paranoia "you wouldn't let him take me and he bet us $100 that we would get together eventually because he thought you were jealous"

"He was right" he murmured under his breath before adding "what happened to him anyway?"

"He's a politician in North Carolina..." Caitlyn replied with a hint of surprise.

"In that case it would be totally immoral for him to accept any money from us" she rolled her eyes and settled back into his arms drawing gentle patterns across his chest with her fingers until sleep claimed them both.

Waking up with her still fully entangled around his body was a surreal experience. With a yawn he inhaled her soft scent, pulling her closer and smiling at the soft moan her sleepy form graced him with as she stretched out her legs.

"Good morning sunshine" he whispered in her direction with a kiss to the top of her head.

Her Dewey eyes reached out to him, reached right into his soul with their honesty and their emotion as she kissed him, her hand gently tracing circles on his bare chest.

"I'll make breakfast, pancakes right?" she smiled with an excited kiss to his lips.

She didn't wait for an answer, simply slipped out of bed and headed for the kitchen. He watched her leave; the light from the window's dancing off her curves as she slipped her dress over her body with a seductive wiggle. She already knew full well what his favorite breakfast was and that's what he loved about her. He didn't have to waste time explaining him to her or establish the foundations of a relationship because they were already there.

It rapidly turned into a serious committed relationship, although it was never anything they actively discussed. Caitlyn moved in and far from ships in the night like he had suspected they had found themselves on the same shift a lot more than they could have predicted. The easiness in which they created a loving home environment made him anticipate coming home to her embrace and positively ache for the feeling of her body tangled with his.

That one time Greg had took a leap of faith was the start of something that he had never imagined before. He had been in relationships, he had dated, but never had he been completely someone else's. And never had a girl trusted him with her heart in the way she trusted him. He couldn't resist the smile that tugged at his lips when he woke to find that morning light lingering over her body as they hid from the world under the sheets.

He couldn't help the rush of affection and emotion that flooded him every time their eyes met; never had he felt more comfortable with anyone. He would find her laying on his sofa reading with a longing smile awaiting his return. She'd wear his shirts as if they were her own. She'd cook for him almost every day and then they would curl up and watch endless streams of movies, the night fading from laughter to heavy sighs as they disappeared into the bedroom. That one decision had changed everything.

And Greg realized he wouldn't change it for the world.

Nick propped up the bar in the seediest part of town he could find. He had been here before, it was a favorite of the down and outs of Vegas. Anyone who had nothing to lose inevitably ended up frequenting this place, drowning their sorrows in whiskey and eyeing the other drinkers with pity and shame. He ordered another drink from the barmaid without looking up; his coaster was rapidly losing its picture as he picked at the edges.

"Not my usual clientele, what's your story cowboy?"

Nick tore his eyes from the bar to scrutinize the woman in front of him. She was small and buxom, a red corset squeezing in her middle and pushing up her breasts. She leaned over the bar, the smell of her own whiskey breath coating him like a second skin.

"Its ok kid, Dolly knows girl troubles when she sees it…"

Nick simply downed the liquid in his glass with a dark brooding look in her direction and slid his glass towards her. she moved on to the woman sitting beside him, she looked every bit as miserable as he did and Dolly discarded her in much the same way, moving on to flirt with the middle aged men at the other side of the bar.

"She's something else, huh?" he asked nodded towards her.

The woman looked at him in surprise. Her piercing blue eyes peering at him through her mess of red curls. About as far removed from Caitlyn as he could find, she was perfect.

"She's very insightful. Her diagnosis of a bad break up was spot on" she remarked bitterly downing her drink in one. It was clear from her demeanor she had been drinking for a while, the way she stared into her glass and swayed to the music only emphasizing that.

"Well, he's clearly the one missing out here." Nick smiled, making sure to lay on the accent thick. He knew it was one of his best traits when it came to women when he caught her eye as he necked his bottle he knew he wouldn't be going home alone tonight.

He may not have won the day with Caitlyn but that didn't mean he had to give up on women completely. There was an endless supply of beautiful and willing women in this town. He intended to start taking advantage of that.


	4. Chapter 4

**ok another quick update BECAUSE I probably wont updaye this again until the 30th - I am off to Africa for an adventure so bear with me and hopefully this will wet your appetite for when I get back and we get to the good stuff ;o) reviews are loved as always - Charli x**

It had been more than a month since he last laid eyes on her, or more precisely 34 days, 7 hours and 28 minutes of Greg constantly droning on about her - not that he was counting.

He had tried everything to get her off his mind but nothing worked. He took beautiful women to his bed and worshipped their bodies but when he closed his eyes it was always her eyes he saw, his lips always tasted of her skin.

It was beginning to become a real problem, he couldn't look Greg in the eye and their weekly beer and take-out sessions ended completely. He had done quite well to avoid the cases with children, the fact that Greg lunged on them so that he had an excuse to visit her at work certainly helped but he was beginning to pine for her in a way that concerned him. At first Greg's almost constant drabble irritated him, he would avoid indulging in conversation but as time passed he found himself engaging his friend in chats that he knew would lead to her and he began lapping up every sliver of information he could get. He even found himself pathetic.

He was heading out to work on a rainy Friday, the dull light and heavy cloud summed up the way he was feeling. Depression settled over him convincing him that becoming an anti-social hermit relying on a string of meaningless one night stands was a much better option than opening himself up to feeling this sense of loss ever again. It was ridiculous really, how he could feel like he had lost something he never really had.

His cell phone buzzed in his pocket with a message from Sara asking him to pick Greg up since she was running late. His car was in the shop, had been for the past week with some kind of computer fault. Sara and Caitlyn had been working between themselves to get him to and from work and he was loving the idea of his two very own personal chauffeurs.

He sighed as he tapped out his agreement and swung the car around in the direction of Greg's apartment. The neon lights of the strip glistened and danced as they were reflected back from the sleek sheen of the roads. People ran back and forth with jackets slung over their heads or newspapers as makeshift umbrellas. The drive to Greg's was a short one, he only lived a couple of blocks away and Nick tapped out a message to Greg and sat outside waiting on his friends' eventual appearance.

Greg was still in bed, cursing the inconvenience of his cell phone as he tried to focus on the woman in his arms. Her breath rustled the short hairs on his neck as he drew his lips down her chest, the bare skin waiting for him to peel back the sheets. He met her eye as his hand snaked the length of her body making her shiver and bite her bottom lip.

"We don't have time…" she whispered into his ear as her lips danced along his neckline coaxing a low growl from his throat.

"There's always time" he grinned as he moved over her with a cheeky smile.

There was something about waking up beside her that drove him crazy, the bare skin of her back stretching out in front of him, the thin sheet hugging the curves of her body, her lips slightly parted as though waiting for him to taste them. The soft moans and sighs she made as she was roused from her slumber made his heart race; it was no wonder a high proportion of his energy these days was devoted to either trying to control himself or doing the exact opposite.

He did prefer doing the exact opposite. He was never happier than when he could wake up and take his time with her, exploring the woman he thought he knew everything about and quickly discovering she could be a different person entirely.

The way she whispered into his ear and stroked the crook of his neck had him wrapped around her in seconds; she could manipulate him with one look. The glint in her eye telling him exactly what she wanted without the need for words, the touch of her lips burning into his skin, the brush of her hands across his chest was so new, so unfamiliar and incredibly exhilarating.

So he spent every moment he could rediscovering her, mapping out exactly where to touch her and how. The curve of her spine became familiar to him, the soft tender skin of her thigh no longer a mystery, the taste of her skin lingering on his lips until he wasn't sure where he ended and she began.

Then she looked at him with that lust in her eyes and the fire in his belly was reignited. He couldn't get enough, his body pressed against her with ferocious desperation as her hands found the headboard and gripped hard against his thrusts. Her back arching in a tantalizing fashion allowing him deeper access and drawing an incredibly erotic moan from her throat that made him tremble. He knew buying a wrought iron bed would pay off, he laced the fingers of one hand through hers and pinned it to the pillows while he hooked one of her legs around his arm and gripped the headboard for leverage.

Nick loitered outside, deciding whether to knock the door or not. Greg had an open door policy. If he was home his door was always open and friends were always welcome, it was mostly laziness on Greg's part knowing full well that if his friends came over and knocked he would have to heave himself from the couch to welcome them in. this way he could continue to lounge without appearing anti-social. The question remained in Nick's mind about whether he should be wandering into his friend's home unannounced as his hand lingered on the handle.

Technically he had warned him. The torrent of text messages and an ignored call should have been enough to tell him he was coming but apparently Greg had better things to do and that's what worried him.

His fears were realized as he stepped through the door into the apartment, he could _hear_ them. He could hear their gasping breaths and her agonizingly arousing moans, he wanted to turn and leave. It was never going to be a good idea to put himself through this but he was paralyzed, rooted to the spot and completely incapable of conscious thought.

His curiosity flared, as much as he told himself to stop invading their privacy, some kind of deep rooted voyeurism was stirred within him and he couldn't physically take himself away from the situation, mentally he pictured himself doing those things to her, receiving the reward of her moans.

He came crashing back to reality when the sighs became words and he realized he was standing in their living room with no good reason clearly having witnessed a rather intimate moment, the only thing he could think to do was back out of the room and pretend he had just arrived.

"Greg, I've been waiting on you for 30mins man, what's going on?"

He hoped he sounded genuine enough for Greg not to suspect, he could hear him scrambling in the bedroom and watched as he launched himself out of the door in just a pair of boxers and that huge smile of his.

"Give me 5 minutes?"

Nick flopped down on the couch and absentmindedly picked up one of the magazines gathered on the coffee table to flick through while he quietly catalogued all the changes in Greg's apartment. The vase of fresh flowers by the window that Greg would certainly have killed within hours, the kitchen utensils Greg probably had no idea how to use, and the pillows on the sofa were arranged rather than thrown, the usual assortment of beer bottles in the corner of the kitchen counter had been replaced by nice bottles of wine. A photograph of the two of them took pride of place on the fridge beside a team photo and one of Greg and Sara smiling out at him.

It had become one of those couple's apartments, an easy mingling of both their personalities and it turned a knot in his stomach at the realization.

Caitlyn's figure appeared in the doorway dressed only in one of Greg's white shirts; it skimmed the top of her shapely thighs and drooped from her shoulders revealing the soft glorious skin of her neck and chest. She looked him over with a ghost of sadness in her eyes. The soft nervous smile gracing her features as she drew a hand through her hair, their eyes locked for a moment, a flush of embarrassment darkening her cheeks as Greg placed his hands on her waist from behind and kissed her cheek.

"I'll see you in the morning" he murmured into her hair, his hand brushing softly across her waist before moving across the room to slap Nick on the shoulder indicating he was ready to leave and he breezed out of the apartment without a second look. Nick stood from the sofa without his eyes leaving hers, he was willing her to speak just so he could hear the sound of her voice again but she seemed to be frozen and breathless as she watched him.

"I… I guess I'll see you around" he broke the eye contact resigned to the fact that she wasn't going to read his mind and declare her undying love.

"You look good Nick, its… good to see you"

"you too… things are going ok… with Greg?" he asked slowly, stumbling over words he wasn't sure he should be uttering. She shrugged one shoulder and dipped her head, hope ignited in his soul despite knowing he shouldn't be willing their relationship to fail.

He took one last look behind him to drink in the image of her standing there in all her natural beauty knowing the image would never be only for him. The longing was in her eyes too, he could almost feel her need to go to him, her internal voice waging war on her emotions and actively holding her back.

Greg drummed his fingers restlessly on the dashboard wondering what on earth could be taking Nick so long, his patience was wearing thin. He wanted to get to work and get his shift over with. Two whole days off awaited him on the other side of this shift, like sweet ambrosia just out of the reach of his fingertips. He pumped the horn a couple of times to express his unhappiness at the situation and glared at the door in the hope that Nick would take the hint.

Apparently it worked, Nick emerged from the apartment looking like he had seen a ghost. The playful comment Greg expected went un-uttered as he started the engine and drove them both to the lab without a word. For some reason this made Greg feel like he was in trouble, he fell into step behind Nick rather than by his side and took a seat in the break room beside Sara with a sigh.

"how did I get here before you guys when I was the one running late?" she asked with her infamous half smile in his direction, he shrugged in reaction still unsure what was going on himself.

"Grissom in town this weekend?" he asked changing the subject.

The cloud that fell over her expression spoke volumes about her obvious disappointment; he had lost count of the number of times that man had let her down. He felt like for the past 6 months Grissom had done nothing but break her down and he was picking up the pieces bit by bit trying to put her back together.

"He was supposed to be…" she began, both of them watching as Nick left the room without a word to either of them. She raised an eyebrow in Greg's direction by way of asking him what was going on only to receive another shrug.

"Work?" he knew the answer but still felt the need to vocalize it and receive confirmation from her, he was well aware that speaking ill of Gilbert Grissom in her presence was frowned upon unless she started it or alcohol was involved.

She answered with a shrug of her own, meeting his eye and knowing she needn't say the words.

"Well then, you are coming home with me. It's been too long, movie marathon time. Will we try and break our record?"

"You think we can beat 32 hours?" she laughed with mock surprise.

"I think we can try"

"you're on!" with a smile and a clashing of coffee mugs they sealed the deal and Greg headed out towards the locker room with a renewed spring in his step, plotting which scary movies to make Sara sit through for the next couple of days.

Shift passed surprisingly quickly and he ushered Sara away as Nick headed out to his 4th case that night. He looked tired and irate and although not actively avoiding him Greg hadn't really had a chance to catch up with him all shift. He swung his arm around Sara and started plotting which snacks to pick up from the store on the way home as Nick's Denali screeched out of the parking lot.

The lights on the police cars made the night sky seem alive as he pulled up outside a small two story home. Even through the bustle of the crowd and the sound of the siren's he could hear her voice, the lights flashed red and blue highlighting her face as she stepped across the lawn with two little girls clutching her hands. He met her eye, holding her gaze for a second too long as Hodges waved his hand in front of his face.

"Nick? Nicky? Nick! are you having a stroke?"

Nick tore his eyes away from hers and looked at Hodges standing there waiting for instruction, the man's eyes scanned the crowds in an attempt to find out what had caught Nick's eye and he broke into a wide grin and nodded.

"I get it; you got a soft spot for the social worker? Bad idea, they are always messed up"

"You would know that how Hodges? Your last dinner date was with your mom"

He narrowed his eyes but didn't protest, instead choosing to turn his attention to Morgan and the young police officer she was chatting to. Nick made a beeline for Caitlyn's car; the two girls had witnessed the brutal murder of their parents. Spared the same fate only by hiding in their closet, they could be the only witnesses to the crime. It was important to get their statement as soon as possible.

"Hey, I didn't expect to see you here" he said softly as he approached her.

"Yeah, well I'm always on call. These girls were on the at risk list, under my care"

There was sadness in her voice, possibly guilt. He suspected she felt she had let them down, he'd been there. He knew how that felt.

"You couldn't have known this would happen" he ran his hand gently down the length of her arm, pausing when he got to her wrist. He was sure she flinched slightly, purposefully avoiding his eye contact before sliding into the driver's seat and disappearing from sight.

He instructed Morgan to process the scene and headed towards family services to watch the interview with the girls.

Their father was a well-known drug dealer; Nick found out that they had been on the radar with social services since birth, being born with an addiction to heroin and a drug addict mother. Caitlyn had been fighting their corner since she arrived in an attempt to take them away to no avail.

They sat in the room huddled close together with their hands clasped together; their bright innocent blue eyes looked out under a mane of almost white blonde hair. They had been given clean clothes; Nick carefully placed their blood soaked dresses into evidence bags as he stole glance's their way from across the room. They were surprisingly calm; it made him nervous to see them just sitting there like the kids out of 'village of the damned'

"Are they in shock or something?" he whispered to Caitlyn as she passed him the girl's socks.

"Wouldn't you be?"

he shrugged in response, it was difficult to imagine witnessing something like that so young. 6 year olds shouldn't know what violence was but he guessed that these girls had seen more than their fair share of that.

When the interview was finished Caitlyn joined him in the observation room, she sighed as she took her position by his side watching the girls playing with the doll's house.

"What happens to them now?" he asked quietly.

"They'll be put in a group home for the night; I'll hopefully find them some relatives or a foster home tomorrow"

He watched as they hugged together tightly to read a book "will they stay together?"

"I hope so" she smiled at their little show of companionship "I don't think they could bear to be apart"

The air around them stilled, the room suddenly feeling small and enclosed and very empty.

"Hey, I'll take you to breakfast. You did a great job with the girls" he turned his head to look at her but she was still watching the little girls. "You can even invite Greg, if you want"

She turned to look at him with a soft smile and a nod. "Thanks, just let me get changed first"

He paced outside the shower room trying to look casual as he listened to the sound of the water. People walked past eyeing him suspiciously while he nodded and shuffled his feet. She emerged in a cloud of steam and the smell of raspberries. Her suit replaced with a plain t-shirt and jeans and her hair tied back, still wet from the shower. She smiled at him and checked her cell phone with an air of confusion.

"I tried to call Greg a few times but he's not picking up. Looks like it's just you and me!"

He tried to pretend that it was no big deal, two friends heading out for breakfast after a rough night. Nothing to write home about, no pressure at all yet his heart was racing almost as fast as his head as they got into his car. He took her to the diner the team often frequented. His logic telling him that bringing her to a place like this would minimize the risk of either of them reading too much into it.

She checked her phone again for the hundredth time since they had sat down. The sunlight filtering through the huge window cast a warm glow over her face helping her hair to slowly curl and twist as it dried in the humidity.

"He still not picking up?"

"Uhh no…he's probably sleeping." She stashed her phone in her purse and leaned her elbows on the table regarding him with a smile "so… you like to read? … Playboy doesn't count"

"I only buy it for the articles" he laughed, matching her playful expression "I read when I can, mostly forensics' stuff though"

She twisted her fork round on her plate and met his eye for a moment.

"You really should indulge. There are a lot of great books you can lose yourself to"

"Oh really?" he raised an eyebrow and gave her his very best flirty smile as she drew her teeth over her bottom lip in an effort to suppress her own smile. "What would you recommend?"

"we'd be here all year if I started on the list" she smiled, sitting back in her chair and watching him over her mug of coffee "right now I'm reading a book called 'the house at Riverton'- it's very good"

He spooned the last of his breakfast into his mouth, wondering exactly where she was going with this conversation "yeah? What's it about?"

She placed her mug back on the table, staring into it as though entranced by the swirling brown liquid.

"Falling in love with an old friend" she stated somewhat sadly meeting his eye again with a sigh. "Then realizing they're not who you thought they were"

"Oh…" she looked away nervously as he continued to watch her, not entirely sure what she was trying to say and struggling to find something intelligent to say in response.

In the end the waitress came to his rescue with their bill and when his eyes returned to her she was smiling again and changing the subject. Another 3 mugs of coffee and they finally felt able to go home, their casual, friendly breakfast had taken well over 3 hours and they had covered every conversational subject from Politics' to Greg's latest fascination with buying novelty boxer shorts.

The day was in full swing as they stepped out of the diner, people rushing back and forth heading for work or school or whatever else their busy lives held. The sunshine was strong and glorious indicating the beginning of a long spring day, flower's beginning to open up their petals and peer into the sun, young couples walking hand in hand with only eyes for each other.

They lingered outside, standing side by side and watching the craziness of rush hour all around them. A silence had descended between them, not an entirely uncomfortable silence but a suggestive silence. She turned to him after a few long moments, a smile dancing across her face as she moved toward him.

"Thanks for today, I had a good time"

He wrapped his arms around her, convinced that hugging could still be considered platonic and friendly. With her body so close to his and her breath on his neck he found himself back to thinking those forbidden thoughts he had been suppressing.

"Me too, we should make a habit of it you know" he pulled back a little, catching her eye with a smile as she nodded.

"it's a date" she whispered in his ear with a soft kiss on his cheek before heading off in the direction of her car leaving him in a cloud of her perfume and smiling after her.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I am so pleased this is doing well. it was a real labor of love! My adventures in Africa turned out to be mighty stressful. call this therapy - be nice and review please :) xxx**

Greg flailed his arm around in search for the bowl of popcorn without taking his eyes off the TV. Eventually he relented and turned to see Sara smiling at him as she held the bowl just out of his reach. She met his eye as she popped some popcorn in her mouth and raised an eyebrow playfully.

"Don't you start with me Sidle, I have the power of the remote you know, one press of a button and we'll be watching 'the notebook'"

She threw a kernel in his direction and he felt victorious when he caught it square in his mouth and beamed at her in jubilation while she rolled her eyes and turned back to the TV.

"Ok… so who's that guy?"

"If you had been paying attention you wouldn't need to ask me a million questions you know…"

"where's the fun in that though?" she smiled throwing another kernel at his head and laughing as it bounced off his forehead and fell to the floor. With a flourish he grabbed the popcorn bowl from her hands and swung it onto the table by his side.

"That's not fair!" she protested "what if I'm hungry?"

Greg responded by tossing a handful of popcorn at her, all of it scattering over the floor and sofa as she laughed at his onslaught.

"You only have to ask" he winked, rubbing his hand along her leg as she narrowed her eyes picking up a couple of stray kernels to toss at his head when he wasn't looking.

"Seriously though, that guys a psychic investigator? He looks like you!"

Greg started absentmindedly massaging her feet as they nestled on his lap; it was a familiar gesture from him. Something they automatically seemed to end up doing on movie nights.

"I could be a psychic investigator!" he protested while taking a swig of his beer.

"Yeah, maybe in Scooby doo!" she laughed discarding the last of the popcorn at him as the sound of keys rattling in the door broke through the noise of the movie.

Caitlyn's silhouette appeared in the doorway, the light from the hallway spilling into the darkened living room like the morning sun.

"Hey babe, long shift?" Greg called across the back of the sofa, with curious eyes casting over her.

She slowly made her way into the room taking in the scene in front of her. Beer bottles and popcorn kernels littered the floor. Greg slouched on one side of the sofa with a beer in one hand and Sara's feet in the other. She was lounging across the couch; pillow's arranged around her like a halo.

"I tried to call you…" Caitlyn stated as she moved into the kitchen, still watching them.

"Well it's a movie marathon. No phones allowed!" he gestured to the empty chair beside him "you can join us if you want? I'm warning you though, we are hardcore"

"He doesn't even allow bathroom breaks" Sara laughed.

Caitlyn didn't join in their laughter though, she wandered into the kitchen and peered into the fridge, all her bottles of water had been lined up on the back of the counter, replaced by bottles of beer and vegetarian snack foods.

With a sigh she closed the door and retrieved one of her, now lukewarm water bottles her eyes casting over the scene in front of her again. Greg's hands still kneading Sara's feet while she fiddled with the tassels of the pillow she held in her lap.

"It's ok; I won't know what's going on"

"Neither does Sara, but she's still here" he laughed as the pillow collided with the side of his face and he responded with another handful of popcorn. Sara's throaty laugh echoing off the walls as the shower of popcorn rained down on her.

Caitlyn simply looked them over again and retreated out of the room without another word. Sara eyed Greg with a concerned expression, not entirely sure what to make of Caitlyn's behavior.

"I should go…" she said, slipping her feet from his lap and pulling herself to a seated position.

"No, you stay" he commanded with a real aura of anger surrounding him, he swung her feet back onto the couch "I'll go talk to her"

He tossed her a beer out of the fridge on his way and pointed at her as if to emphasize his point before disappearing into the bedroom. Caitlyn was curled up on the bed with her back to him, a book in her hands and her hair wildly flowing across the pillows.

"Ok, what's going on?" he hazarded, sitting by her feet in an effort to appear both understanding and confrontational at the same time.

"Nothing" was the only answer she could muster.

"You were really rude to Sara Cait…" she fixed her jaw, still staring at her book.

"I didn't say anything to Sara" she turned the page with a sigh but he was well aware she wasn't really reading it.

"That's exactly my point, what are you so pissed about?"

She finally met his eye "I needed you Greg and you ignored my calls for a movie?"

"I ignored your calls for a friend who needed me. You're ok with that right?"

It wasn't really a question, more a demand as she sat up on the bed with her legs crossed to meet his eye.

"Am I supposed to be ok to come home to you cozied on the couch with another woman?"

He was beginning to get even more confused by her anger, she was acting like he had betrayed her somehow and he really couldn't understand where that had come from. Not from her, she had been on the receiving end of his friendship for so long; it didn't make sense for her to grudge him that closeness with someone else.

"But it's Sara, Cait. She's… she's… you"

"That's supposed to make me feel better? Look how we turned out!"

He sighed; exasperated by the headache she was giving him over nothing. She stood up and paced by the window her arms crossed and her expression fixed.

"I'd have appreciated a heads up, that's all." She turned to face him, her expression softer and more sympathetic "I don't want to feel like an outcast when I come home. I'm not the spare wheel"

"You're never a spare wheel Caitlyn; you should give Sara a chance. You actually have a lot in common" she stood in front of him with a raised eyebrow and a smile tugging at her mouth "including great taste in men!"

With a smile he slung his hands around her waist and pulled her close to him, flopping back on the bed with a glint in his eye. She rolled on top of him placing her legs gingerly on either side of him and kissing him slowly and sensually. His hands automatically slid the length of her body.

"You taste like breakfast"

"Girls gotta eat you know"

"Not complaining…" Greg met her lips again, his fingers lacing through her hair.

"Greg, I'm putting on Scream 4 unless you come and stop me!" Sara's muffled voice came from the other room. A flash of desperation and amusement lit his eyes as he looked up at her, the grin crossing his features suggesting he was asking for permission. With a sigh she threw herself back onto the bed. She knew Greg considered the 'Scream' movie's an insult to the Horror Genre.

"Go!" she smiled and waved her hand in the direction of the living room as he cheerfully kissed her forehead and disappeared.

She swung around in the bed, picked up her book and noticed a message highlighting her phone. With a frown she flipped it open, soon breaking into a wide smile as an image of the very book she was reading appeared on the tiny screen with the message.

"_Joining your book club – same time next week? – N"_

She knew it was probably a bad idea to actively agree to see Nick once a week. It was like buying a bar of chocolate and telling herself she could only have one square at a time. There was no denying the spark between them, it was only a matter of time before her willpower failed her and she greedily devoured the whole bar. Yet she found herself tapping out a message of agreement and actually looking forward to their little rendezvous.

It did raise the question of why she was getting jealous of Greg's friendship with Sara. She had been on the other end of that particular scenario many times, she had been the one stealing time away from the girlfriends and taking their jealous stares. She had been the one laughing at their insecurity and mistrust and now she was the one displaying those characteristics.

There was another theory she was working on though, one that was altogether more likely. It is often said that people who are most jealous are those with a guilty conscience. Did she really have any right to berate Greg for spending time with a woman when she had spent the morning with another man?

In contrast to Greg's unfaltering honesty she had failed to tell him where she had been that morning, allowing him to believe that she had been working. Allowing him to trust her without question while she sat across from a man she had thought about bringing to her bed more than once, a guilty conscience could certainly explain her jealousy if only analyzing it would put it to bed.

She slept a tortured sleep, the sounds of horror movies and Sara's voice penetrating her dreams until she slunk out of the house in the morning, heading to work, without meeting their eyes. Creeping around like a shadow, there but not really there.

Greg watched with baited breath as Sara's eyes fluttered closed, he had been poised to claim victory for the past 20 minutes as he watched her fight off the sandman completely unsuccessfully. Just as her eyes finally closed and he was about to proclaim himself victorious Caitlyn's keys rattled in the lock and snapped her back to reality.

"Damn it Cait! I was totally about to win!"

"Nice to see you too!" she declared with an air kiss in his direction as she threw her keys onto the table by the door and switched on the lamp. Sara stretched out her legs and arms with a groan, glancing at her watch with an air of annoyance.

"You know what; you get to win anyway Greg. I'm going home!" She stood up from the sofa and retrieved her jacket from one of the chairs.

"No, no way! I can't claim victory if you quit. It's too easy!"

"Greg, I'm tired! I haven't spoken to my husband for 3 days, I haven't had a shower, I haven't changed clothes, I haven't really eaten…. I'm out! I need to do these things Greg! I'm only human!"

Caitlyn gave her a sympathetic smile as she moved into the kitchen in search of food. Greg raised his hands in an indication of his surrender and gave Sara a beaming smile "but I still win right?"

With an exaggerated eye roll Sara left the apartment, waving at them both over her shoulder as she went. Greg stretched out on the couch watching Caitlyn rifling through the fridge. He suddenly realized how little he had seen her over the past few days, she had been working a lot and he had been pre-occupied with his movie marathon.

"how was work today?" he queried, leaning over the couch and watching her with interest.

"You want me to make you something to eat?" she asked, taking a swig of water and moving the stack of plates he had created into the sink.

"Let's go out to dinner, where do you want to go?"

She eyed him suspiciously over the stack of empty beer bottles he had left on the counter. He could tell she was resisting the urge to berate him for moving them to the counter but not the recycling. He decided his best bet was to search for her eye contact and drag a smile from her. He knew that once she had smiled he was forgiven but she was doing a really good job avoiding his eye.

"Caiiitttllyyyynnn, come on… I'll take you anywhere you want! I'll even pay; I _might_ even go in a shower first!"

"You better shower first, I'm not going out with you smelling of movie marathon" she smiled and he silently declared a victory over her too "what about Andre's?"

"No I ate there earlier this week" he stated simply, slipping his t-shirt over his head and throwing it into the laundry basket across the room. Missing by a mile and making no move to rectify it. with a sigh she picked it up and placed it in the basket.

"When?" She asked raising an eyebrow suspiciously as she moved across the room towards him, feeling the sudden need to draw her hands across his bare chest. Without her heels on she had to look up at him, straining on her tiptoes to kiss him playfully on the lips.

"Oh, on Monday" he shrugged, heading in the direction of the bathroom "Sara and I went for lunch there"

She followed him to the bathroom, watching as he discarded his jeans and boxers and let the water run over his back, the room filling with steam and the sound of his humming.

"What about bootlegger?" he called over the drone of the shower, peering out through the steamed up shower enclosure with a grin "the food is awesome and to be honest I think the chef has a crush on me…"

"You think everyone has a crush on you" she smiled, sliding onto the edge of the sink and watching as he covered his body in a thick lather of bubbles.

"Well if the shoe fits …"

She absentmindedly passed him his shower gel and placed a soft towel on the vanity table, peering into the mirror at her own reflection. He caught her eye in the rapidly steaming up glass.

"You're welcome to join me Miss Anderson; I think I may have missed a bit…"

She slid the shower door open with a smile, indicated for him to lean towards her and met his lips with hers as she slunk her hand out and switched off the shower.

"Hold that thought Sanders, I need food first"

She sauntered out of the room, her hair swinging around her back as he looked after her in almost desperation. She was such a tease.

He arrived in the bedroom in time to watch her slip into the midnight blue satin dress with the plunging neckline he had only seen in photos. they didn't do it justice at all, the sheer fabric clinging to her body like it was painted on yet skimming her thighs softly as it flowed like water when she moved.

"Help me with the zipper?" she asked almost nervously as she twisted her mane of hair on top of her head with one hand. He moved behind her and held his breath as he grasped the tiny zip between his fingers. It ran from the base of her spine to her shoulder blades and he purposefully ran his fingers along her skin as he pulled making her pull her breath in quickly. He took a half step towards her so that she could feel his body behind her, his breath tickling the exposed skin of her neck. His fingers intentionally brushed against her, just below the hem at the zip. It was a promise, a silent declaration of his desire for her that made her breath catch in her throat and her heart pound against her chest.

He met her eye in the full length mirror she stood before, their eyes met for a few seconds but neither one of them looked away letting their gazes linger. Caitlyn took another quick breath as she noticed his vision moving to her lips, she licked them without meaning to letting them glisten in the dim lightening. Greg's eyes were back on hers again clouded with a type of lust that made a shiver cross her entire body. Satisfied she was as turned on as he was Greg simply moved to the closet to retrieve his clothes.

He ran his hands through his hair before heading into the living room, pleased that he had made himself look presentable in a relatively short time. Caitlyn smiled over at him, her hair flowing down her back and her long legs only accentuated by the heels, he had seen that look in her eye before. 3 days without him and she was positively ravenous. He had a feeling dessert this evening was going to be delicious.

"I'm ready when you are" he offered, slipping his wallet into the pocket of his suit jacket.

"Baby, I was born ready" with a flick of her hair she walked out of the door, her heels clicking on the marble floors of the foyer. He shook his head and blew out a calming breath before following her out. She was in a playful mood tonight but two could play at her game and he intended to give as good as he got.

It was jazz night at the bootlegger; they were given a booth tucked away in a corner with a good view of the stage. The high-backed black leather booth gave a sense of privacy, the tiny lamp perched on the corner of the table casting a warm glow over them as they slid into position. The sound of the music filling the room and adding to the atmosphere, this was one of Greg's favorite restaurants. It was seeped in history and was once attended by some of the most notorious mob bosses and celebrities Vegas had seen.

"You have to try the veal out of here. The last time I came here I couldn't order it because Sara was with me" he saw her attempting to suppress an eye roll and turned his attention to the waitress "we'll have two Osso Bucco's please, and a bottle of house wine"

"Did you just order for me?"

"Well I was trying to be a gentleman" he explained, crunching on a breadstick and gazing around at the other patrons innocently.

"What if I don't want veal?" She asked him, leaning across the table and peering over the tablecloth to see him pressing buttons on his phone.

"Will I call the waitress over?" he asked. She could see he wasn't paying attention, preferring whatever was on his cell phone to her conversation.

"sure, call her over and tell her you ordered the wrong meal because you're an idiot" she teased, waiting for his reaction and sighing in exasperation when he simply nodded and said 'ok'  
"then you can tell her you and I are first cousins and we came to Vegas to get married even though I am pregnant with your brother's baby"

"Ok, waitress?" he halfheartedly called out to the room, still staring at his cell phone under the table.

She couldn't believe his audacity, throwing a breadstick at him in disgust as he looked up at her with wide eyes full of disbelief.

"What are you doing?"

"You didn't hear anything I just said!" her voice was so high pitched and outraged she was surprised it was even audible.

"I did, you said you didn't want Veal…" he stared at her in confusion as she shook her head and laughed into her glass of wine.

"You are unbelievable!" She muttered half to herself "who are you texting? Or do I even need to ask?"

He laughed in attempt to minimize the situation "it's… its Archie actually. Girlfriend problems"

For a second she looked like she believed him, the argumentative stance replaced by a somewhat defeated expression until her eyes fixed on someone across the room. He knew immediately who it was, without even looking he knew that fate had not been kind to him and it was confirmed when he followed her eye to see Archie sitting at a table across the room with a pretty red head.

He pressed his eyes closed as his mind desperately tried to come up with an explanation. He turned back to see her waiting patiently for her answer.

"Ok... it was Sara. Grissom was…"

"I don't want to know Greg" she interrupted, shaking her head in defeat and rooting in her purse.

"But it was nothing, look…"

He held out the phone in her direction but she looked away, pushing his hand out of her face and slipping out of the booth. She refused to meet his eye and he felt guilt tying a knot in his stomach.

"You don't need to lie to me; if I bore you enough for you to depend on Sara while we are on a date you could at least say so…"

"you're not boring me Cait!" he laughed. It was a fatal mistake, he could tell the second the sound escaped his lips by the expression on her face. She thought he was belittling her concerns, he had intended to make light of the situation and instead he had made it assume an even larger significance. "Sara... she's not used to sharing me. I'm not used to rationing my time with her either. its a learning curve"

"rationing your time with her?" she whispered as though not comprehending the words properly.

"well its not exactly what I meant but..." he was digging himself into a hole here and for some reason despite his mind telling him to stop he just kept on digging.

Caitlyn was shaking her head, trying to shake off the anger she was feeling. He could almost see the haze descending around her, her silence speaking volumes that her words never could.

"Cait..." he began, choosing his words slowly and carefully as he took her hand. "it's really not a big deal"

Her eyes shot to his immediately, anger flashing in the pupils and penetrating his flesh like a knife. He had said the wrong thing. Again. It had sounded ok in his head, reassuring and calming but it had the opposite effect.

"not a big deal" she repeated in her new quiet voice. He didn't like it. it was strangely intimidating.

"you really need to see this from my point of view Cait. Sara and I... we're... we're very close"

Once again he was greeted by silence. The walls around her immediately built up again as she avoided his eye contact and nodded sadly. He suddenly felt the need to fight his corner, defensiveness flaring inside him.

"I don't think you're being very fair..." he declared "its not like I can be with you all the time..."

"but even when your with me you're not with me Greg. even with me you're with her, you're texting her, you're talking about her, making plans with her. Its almost as though you'd rather be with her"

He tried to defend himself, his mouth opening but the sound failing to materialise. The sadness and betrayal in her voice was almost physically painful as he watched her leave, as though on cue the cell phone chimed with another message from Sara. It sat there illuminating the table, as though underlining the fact he was now there alone.

He debated whether texting Caitlyn his apology was entirely appropriate, eventually deciding that there was one person who would know how to fix this. Even if she had technically caused it, if anyone could dig him out of this hole it was Sara.


	6. Chapter 6

Nick sat at the bar with his head in his hands; this was possibly the worst date he'd ever been on. The girl had turned up looking like she had rolled out of bed and never seen a hairbrush before; she had hung on his every word while flirting with the barman and consumed so much alcohol, without paying, that she was now in the bathroom losing her dinner. He silently reminded himself that even if this girl was a little different than he was used to, he was almost guaranteed a bed for the night.

So he took a deep breath and a long sip of his drink and waited for her to return. Ted the barman filled his drink without being asked, he had frequented this bar almost every night this week. He loved how it offered the opportunity to disappear and blend in without feeling like he had vanished completely and the fact that tourists never ventured this far off the beaten track. His eyes cast over the crowd with a look of distaste.

It really was a dive, in every description of the word. Jukebox music and a massive pool table where two of the reason's he loved this place but sometimes they were the very reason's he hated it. The music was inevitably an eclectic mix of tastes and the pool table was inevitably the place where most of the arguments broke out. People could be rather possessive at times.

She would have been the last person he would have expected to come to a place like this, so much so he concluded she was a hallucination and slid his drink across the bar in disgust. Caitlyn's form framed in the doorway and she glanced around the room looking a little lost until she spotted him. The dress she wore was far too formal for a place like this; it clung to her body and shone under the dim lights as she crossed the room towards him.

"What are you doing here?" she queried with a smile as though he was the one who looked out of place. She slipped into the stood beside him and gestured to Ted to bring her a drink.

"I was here first" he protested, swallowing the last of his whiskey and ordering another of his own. He placed his hand on hers as she started to root in her purse for money and met her eye "I got this one"

"Well it must be fate" she smiled as she raised her glass and clinked it against his "thanks"

She downed the liquid in her glass in one swig and slammed it on the bar as she squeezed her eyes closed and pointed at the emptiness indicating that Ted was to keep them coming. Ted smiled and raised an eyebrow at Nick as he refilled the glass.

"you ok?" he asked as he bent his head trying to meet her eye, she was avoiding his gaze, staring into her glass like it was the most interesting thing in the world and shrugging slightly. He reached out his hand to rest it on her leg and she finally caught his gaze. "What are you doing in a place like this Caitlyn? Where's Greg?"

"Well I asked the cab driver to take me somewhere I could disappear" she downed her glass in one again, nodding her head towards Ted "and here we are!"

"and Greg?" he watched her out of the corner of his eye, raising his own glass to his lips and letting the fiery liquid burn his throat as a way of chastising himself for his inappropriate thoughts regarding the cut of her dress.

"I dunno, probably with Sara somewhere" she waved her hand around and asked the barman to hit her with something stronger. He returned with two glasses and two chasers and a wink for Nick.

"Yeah, they're pretty close…that bothers you?" she had polished off her drinks and ordered the next lot before he had even brought his glass to his mouth.

"Their ridiculous co-dependence? No. The fact that they can't last more than an hour without contact… a little"

"I don't think it's that bad…"

"Really? I wouldn't be surprised if he called her during sex to make sure he was doing it right!" she smiled, meeting his eye over her glass "I just need some space"

They laughed together, clinking their glasses again and allowing a silence to settle between them as Chris Young serenaded them from the jukebox. The alcohol was clearly having an effect on her as she hummed along.

"I love this song" she declared, singing along as if here was no-one else in the bar "we're like fire and gasoline, I'm not good for you, your no good for me, we can only bring each other tears and sorrow"

"But tonight, I'm gonna love you like there's no tomorrow" he finished, catching her eye in a moment that almost took his breath away. This was a bad idea. They both knew it, yet neither of them made any move to change the situation choosing instead to down yet another shot and steal glances at each other across the bar.

"So… what are you doing in such a high class establishment?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"There is nothing wrong with this establishment Caitlyn. Did it ever occur to you I might like the smell of stale urine and old alcohol?" he smiled emptying his glass slowly while his eyes drew over her again. He watched her when she laughed, feeling his heart rip in two. He loved the way the sound ignited the sparkle in her eyes. He couldn't seem to look at her without his mouth turning as dry as the desert. She was like a mirage, teasing him with the ability to quench his thirst so easily but completely unobtainable.

A slim woman came stumbling out of the bathroom and pointed towards Nick on her way to the stage with a very over-exaggerated wink. She clumsily made her way across the bar, running a hand through her hair. He hoped Cait didn't see her, hoped that in that moment she had been staring into her drink or checking her phone but he knew that was unrealistic.

"You know that girl?" Caitlyn questioned as she peered over his shoulder at the woman discussing something with the DJ.

"she's … she's kinda my date" he looked over at her adjusting her barely there dress and standing in front of the microphone with a sudden realization that she was going to sing. He had been hoping for a get out clause all night. He did find it odd that his 'date' didn't respond to his current companion at all, even when it was incredibly obvious that they were flirting outrageously with each other. "It's not going well!"

"Oh that's a shame Nick, she really looks like marriage material" she smirked as she leaned over the bar and whispered something in Ted's ear. Nick watched as the sheer material of her dress rode higher up the back of her thighs, the forbidden thoughts coursing through him made his mouth dry and his heart race. He grabbed his drink and threw it back in a desperate attempt to suppress his uncontrollable libido.

"Let's get out of here" he suggested as he watched her reading the cocktail list with a look of disgust. He leaned over towards her whispering in her ear. "I'll take you somewhere with good cocktails"

"I couldn't let you do that to your future wife Nick"

he threw her a sarcastic look before they both turned to look at the woman as she expertly swung the microphone around in her hands and broke into her own rendition of 'you've got a way with me' by Shania Twain on the Karaoke machine. He looked back to Caitlyn; horror stricken while she laughed at his embarrassment.

While his 'date' turned to serenade the karaoke MC Nick took hold of Caitlyn's hand and pulled her out of the bar and into the cool night air.

"You can't just stand her up like that Nick!" she protested as her eyes took in the liquor stores and pawn shops surrounding them. The air hit her like a sledgehammer and she was suddenly aware of how much she had already had to drink. It took all her power not to wobble on her feet as she tried to focus on stopping the world from spinning out of control.

"She won't even notice, come on"

Again he clasped her hand and led her along the street full of purpose. Her heels echoed around the empty block as people eyed them suspiciously from street corners and alleyways. He knew there was a main road a little further up where they could hail a cab but he also knew that her current attire was bound to generate attention from the wrong people around here. Time was of the essence.

"Hey, this aint 5th Avenue Princess!" A young gangster wannabe hollered from his place on the corner of an alley. Nick would have kept on walking; he would never have acknowledged the calls and kept marching towards the main road. Caitlyn was a fan of a different approach.

"I already got a tour guide, Tupac but thanks!" she shot over her shoulder and Nick felt the need to hold her hand just a little tighter.

"Sweet heart...want me to show you a good time?" he called, walking into the middle of the road with his hands stretched out towards them.

"Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date"

Nick pressed his eyes together and picked up his pace, he didn't need to be getting into street brawls tonight but the man rapidly heading towards them seemed to have other ideas.

"Hey man you wanna tell your bitch to mind her mouth!"

Caitlyn met his eye before she whipped around to face the man. He could tell this wasn't going to end well and he knew he was going to have to be the one to end it.

"Leave it" he whispered under his breath as he slipped his hand around her waist and kept her moving.

"I'm nobodies bitch, punk!"

He could see it coming a mile off. The man saw red and came charging towards them. Nick released his hold on Cait to turn and push the man back making him fall to the ground.

"Let's get out of here" he muttered to Caitlyn, grasping her hand and moving quickly towards the busier main street. He hailed a cab relatively easily. The streets were mostly empty this far out, fate must have been on their side gracing them with a cab almost the second they emerged onto the main road. He leaned over to give the cabbie his instructions as she eyed him suspiciously.

"Where are we going?"

"Frankie's, they do the best Rum Cocktails this side of the strip"

The cab pulled up to a small white building with a simple green neon sign stating they were in fact at Frankie's Tiki Room. He tossed a few notes of unknown description into the drivers lap and helped her stumble out of her door. She stared at her shoes for a few long seconds as though coaching them on how to move before shakily pulling herself to her feet and taking in her surroundings with a frown.

As they stepped inside it was almost as though they were transported to a Hawaiian Havana. The walls were clad in bamboo, palm trees and Tiki heads dotted around as the scent of incense filled the air. The staff danced around in Hawaiian shirts and grass skirts, the music lighthearted and energetic as the moderate crowd bustled around the bar. Nick ordered them both a 'bearded clam' immediately regretting it when Caitlyn not only popped her own cherry into her mouth but also retrieved his with a flick of her tongue and a sultry gaze.

She clutched his hand and pulled him in the direction of the dance floor as the beat pounded through his alcohol soaked brain. There was a part of his conscience screaming at him to step away from the girl currently holding his hand, the same part of his conscience he had been silencing with alcohol since she had stepped through the door of his seedy little Las Vegas hideaway a couple of hours earlier.

Yet he was entranced as she moved her body with the music and the voice fell silent, the only sound penetrating his brain was the thud of the bass and David Guetta tormenting them with 'turn me on'. His hands drew carefully across her hips, slipping on the satin of her dress and making him think about what it would feel like to run his hands across her skin instead. She looked so free and uninhibited, swinging her hair around and rotating her hips, meeting his eye every few seconds with a flirty smile. It would have been inhuman of him not to react to her, every move she made sparked off an almost electrical reaction across his entire body.

He gently stroked his hand along the length of her arm, her fingers curling through his as she twirled around in his arms, falling backwards into his embrace. With her body nestled close to his she pulled his hands to her waist and continued to grind against him, one of her arms sliding around his neck.

She stroked the back of his neck, her fingers lacing though his hair and her nails gently skimming the skin. It took all his will power not to growl in her ear and kiss her hard on the lips. Somewhere , his conscience was still holding him back from her but as the beat continued to transport him to another place entirely he wasn't sure how long he could keep himself under control. His hands slid across her stomach as though out-with his control as he matched her movements, getting lost in the music and the atmosphere as she seemed to possess him. He seemed to be enclosed in her aura, the feeling of her body against his, the smell of her hair, the touch of her hand on his arm all adding to his thirst, his _need_ to taste her skin and the rest of the bar vanished into blackness as the last of his inhibitions slipped away.

The song slowed for a few seconds and her head rolled back to his shoulder, her neck exposed to his lips, her breasts heaving against the tight fabric on her dress. Without really thinking his actions through he pressed his lips gently against her neck, feeling the blood coursing through her veins, half expecting her to pull away in disgust and being pleasantly surprised when she simply sucked in her breath and pushed herself against him.

With a single movement he spun her around to face him again, the beat returned to the song and she moved closer to him moving her body in ways that only made him want her more. The cloud descended again as she met his eye, lust clouded his judgment, alcohol clouded his mind and he found himself pulling her to him meeting her lips with his. It was a glorious moment, when he finally surrendered and tasted her lips. She folded her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his, returning his kiss with just as much longing.

The dance floor suddenly seemed incredibly packed and restricting, heat descending over them like a blanket as they stumbled away from the crowd still fully entwined in each other's arms. He collided heavily with the wall, his grunt accompanying her lustful sigh as he let his hand wander the curve of her spine. His tongue danced across her lips and he drew his kisses across her neck and shoulder, enjoying the sighs she rewarded him with.

In their darkened little corner of the club it felt like they were the only two people in the world. Like nothing else mattered in their stolen moment. Perspiration cast a sheen over her skin that made it glisten with every beam of light that danced over them. Her hands stroked his chest slowly and deliberately as he pulled her closer towards him. His fingers hovered over the clasp of her zipper, dipping under the cut of the dress to graze the soft skin of her back when she suddenly snapped her eyes to his.

She was suddenly transported right back to earlier that night. To Greg and his tease in front of the mirror. She could see his eyes washing over her as she stood there, she could feel his touch and imagine his body against hers. She could imagine the way his features would change if he knew what she was doing. She could feel the hurt and the betrayal pulsing through his veins. A sense of horror closed around her heart and for a moment she found it hard to take a breath. She could never have imagined herself in this situation, she had just needed some space to clear her head but she had succeeded in muddying the already clouded water of her mind.

"What are we doing?" her hands pressed against his chest as her eyes were suddenly filled with what he could only describe as fear. She backed away from him shaking her head as her eyes glistened with tears "this is wrong…This is so wrong!"

She whipped her body around and retreated out of the bar, pushing her way through the crowds of people and emerging onto the street with a sigh of desperation. He followed her out, calling to her the whole way, trying to diffuse the situation.

"Cait! Cait… listen to me" he caught up to her, gripping her arm tightly in his hand in an effort to make her stay put and listen to him but she turned to him with such anger in her eyes he flinched as he let his hand drop.

"You do _not _call me that Nick" tears began to brim over her eyes as she valiantly lost her fight with them. She slipped her shoes from her feet and discarded them on the sidewalk "only Greg calls me that"

She was finally defeated, the tears falling thick and fast as her legs buckled and she sat on the curb with her knees tucked under her chin and her face in her hands. Her shoulders trembled with her sobs as he bent down beside her and swung his arm around her, she visibly stiffened now afraid of his touch and he felt a terrible knot of guilt swelling in his stomach.

"Hey, it'll be ok Caitlyn. He'll never find out, I promise…"

She turned to look at him; he could tell she didn't believe anything he was saying. He realized he was helpless in this circumstance, there was nothing he could do to fix how she was feeling and he felt the same overwhelming guilt wash over him when he thought of Greg. He had surrendered to his desires without thinking of anyone else.

"I'm sorry… I didn't think…"

"I want to go home…" she stood up shakily and retrieved her shoes. The heels clapped together as she paced the sidewalk and hailed a cab, the driver taking her far from the bright lights of the strip and more importantly far away from him.

The cab pulled up outside the apartment and she gazed up at the window with a heavy heart. The light was still on, suggesting Greg had waited for her. She could picture him pacing the floor in a haze of anger and confusion. Her betrayal would be evident by now; it was the only logical conclusion since she had been gone for so long. She crept into the apartment feeling incredibly dirty, like Greg would know the second he looked at her that she had been locked in an embrace with another man. Like the trace of Nick's lips were visible on hers and his fingerprints burned onto her skin.

But Greg was not pacing the floor, he wasn't asleep on the couch or hunched over a bowl of cereal in front of 24 hour cartoons. In fact Greg was nowhere to be seen, the bed lay empty and unslept in and she knew there was only one place he would be.

Sara's.

The realization felt heavy in her stomach and muffled the sound of her racing heart. She had been wrestling with the burden of her guilt while he was probably none the wiser to her sordid night of promiscuity. That is if he even cared enough to think about what she was doing, chances are he was indulging in his own slice of adultery across town. She wouldn't be the only one with careless whispers across her skin.

She padded into the bedroom in a state of shock; the image of herself in the mirror she had stood at with Greg earlier that day seemed to goad her. The reflection staring back at her was someone she wasn't sure she recognized anymore. Nausea shuddered in her stomach, a feeling that she knew wouldn't be easy to suppress. She could bury her dress in the back of the closet and never have to look at the memory again; she could wash away the make-up and avoid the club. She could hide from Nick and stop herself from running a confession from her mouth the second Greg walked through the door but she would always have this guilt.

The ruins of her relationship with Greg seemed to crumble on top of her, suffocating her with their magnitude. Not just a romantic relationship but a lifelong friendship she cherished with every beat of her heart. The burden settled heavily on her shoulders as she stepped under the shower and attempted to wash away the ghost of Nicks touch and the tracks of her tears knowing it would never be enough. She could never wash away the memory and probably worse than that she would never wash away the longing she felt for Nick.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: OK I apologise for the fact that this chapter is slightly shorter than the others. I had intended to add Smut but since FF is cracking down on it you get it eu naturale. if y'all want I can post the next chapter this weekend too. you know what to do! :o)**

Greg groaned and squeezed his eyes closed tighter against the glaring sunlight as Sara opened the thick curtains with a flourish and switched on the radio. 'Sweet Caroline' bellowed out of the stereo as she moved into the kitchen and poured herself a coffee, smiling over the mug as he attempted to shake himself into consciousness.

"Neil Diamond? You're spending way too much time with Grissom Sara"

She narrowed her eyes and launched an apple from the fruit basket in his direction playfully.

"it's the radio, genius" she leaned back on the counter and sipped the coffee slowly, taking in the mess of blankets and pile of discarded clothing surrounding her friend "so… you going to tell me why I got rudely awakened at 1am?"

"You were awake…" he protested, attempting to fold the blankets into a neat pile and failing miserably. He threw the ball of material into the corner of the sofa and moved across the room picking up his clothing and wondering why he felt the need to have it spread out across the floor in the first place.

"Only because you called me 40 times on your way over here!"

He would have protested if it wasn't true. The cab driver had shook his head in disbelief as he had left countless messages on her cell varying from teasing her about her 'old age' to begging her to answer her cell so he didn't have to spend the rest of his life calling her name to a window like some kind of modern day Romeo stuck in limbo.

"Well I might have had a tiny disagreement with Caitlyn…"

He knew she was waiting for him to expand his explanation but the smell of coffee was washing over him igniting his thirst for caffeine and his need for the slow comfort the liquid brought as it slid down his throat. He dropped into a chair by the window and gazed out at the park across the road. It was far from the hustle and bustle of the strip. A little garden of Eden, a world away from the insanity of the strip yet still in the middle of the city. She paid a premium for this condo and he could see why as he wistfully watched young couples strolling hand in hand past the rows of blossoming spring flowers and children breaking free from their parents over protective grasp to deplete some energy on the playground.

"Tiny disagreements don't make you come to my door in the middle of the night Greg" she began, taking the chair directly across from him and refusing to drop her gaze "what's going on?"

Greg sighed and continued staring out of the window until he couldn't ignore her stare anymore. She knew how to get the truth out of him every time.

"she may have a slight issue with… us" he fidgeted in his seat and stared into his mug taking on the persona of a teenage boy afraid to tell his mother he'd been in detention for 3 weeks.

"Us? You and me, us? Us?" she blustered in disbelief.

"Yeah Sara – us. She's mad at me for texting you while we were out for dinner" he sighed, taking a swig of his coffee and returning his gaze to the park again "among other things…"

"What other things?"

"I don't even know, she's… she's so insecure I don't know how to… fix her"

"You don't have to fix her Greg!" Sara laughed in disbelief as she joined him watching the people toing and froing in the park. Joggers raced past, their ears buzzing with music transporting them to their own place far removed from Las Vegas. Friends shared a picnic breakfast and a game of Frisbee, their smiles wide and honest as they frolicked on the grass.

"Tell me what to do" he almost begged her, leaning across the table to meet her eye.

"First thing you need to do is get out of here, if she finds out you spent the night here you are screwed!"

She took his coffee mug from his hands and sauntered into the kitchen with a backwards glance at her friend, clearly struggling with his confusion about the female species.

"She'll already know… I didn't come home. There's only one place I'd be…"

She paused for a second after placing the mug down on the counter and watching him fight his inner turmoil. It occurred to her suddenly that there was a solution to all this, Caitlyn wouldn't be the first girlfriend to struggle to cope with their unorthodox relationship, she wouldn't be the first girlfriend to be lost in favor of their friendship but she was the first one Sara had ever seen him care so much about. She was the first one he had ever looked at with that much love in his eyes and she didn't want to be responsible for the loss of that. She turned back to Greg with a slightly pained expression. "Greg...maybe she's right. I… I depend on you too much"

"Sara what are you talking about?" Greg asked with a frown.

"I'm talking about doing something to save your relationship." Sara offered her expression not changing. "Maybe it would do us both some good to… go it alone for a while"

"No" his answer was so simple and decisive she was genuinely surprised. "Not gonna happen, you are stuck with me. Caitlyn will just have to deal with it"

"Look, we're always going to be friends Greg. But...I'm not going to text you the second I start feeling down, and you don't have to drop everything when I do. I'm a big girl, I can look after myself."

She attempted to give him the easy way out. He could run home to Caitlyn and tell her he had made the ultimate sacrifice for her. He could have spent the foreseeable future wrapped in her embrace, he could have been happy but Greg didn't want that.

"Sara, no." Greg stood up walking slowly towards her. "I love Cait, but I love you too. If she can't cope with that then she's not worth it"

Sara opened her mouth and took a deep breath, ready to stage her protest but Greg's expression told her there was no point. He had made his decision.

"Ok… first you have to do something about that hair" she smiled ruffling his bed head playfully as she marched back into the kitchen. "Then you need flowers, your very best puppy dog expression and a reservation at The Eiffel Tower"

"Are you insane? Even if I could afford it I'd never get a table!"

Sara raised an eyebrow and flicked through a small book by the phone with a smile.

"You shower, leave the rest to me…" he hesitated, watching her with suspicion until she waved her hand around at him and he darted off in the direction of the shower.

He emerged looking like a human being again, a towel wrapped around his waist as he strolled around the apartment like he owned the place. Sara chuckled under her breath and shook her head as she cradled the phone under her chin and waved him into the bedroom, opening Grissom's closet with a nod.

She disappeared back into the living room asking for a 'Pierre' on the phone. Greg glanced at the closet with a sigh. Grissom wasn't generally known for his fashion sense; he pulled out a garish blue and white patterned shirt and shook his head in disapproval.

"Put that back Greg!" Sara called from the living room, smiling at his choice of shirt.

"Stop trying to watch me get naked Sara" he casually placed the shirt back in the closet and made a halfhearted attempt at finding an almost modern looking shirt. "Does Grissom even own a cool suit?"

Sara casually strode back into the room with an eye roll and nudged him out of the way. He watched as she pushed a few hangers out of the way and slid a dark navy suit, tossing it onto the bed with a victorious smile.

"Oh Ms. Sidle your detective skills astound me."

She narrowed her eyes and disappeared out of the room again, choosing not to respond to his hilarious display of wit. He surveyed the suit laid over the bed waiting for him. It felt a bit wrong to be wearing another man's suit; like he was violating his privacy somehow. The sheer material reflected the light as he held it up to examine it closer. He remembered this suit, Grissom had worn this suit what felt like eons ago. When he was younger and more fashion conscious. He couldn't imagine him wearing it now; it was most definitely a young man's suit. He visibly flinched as he tried it on, taking in his image in the mirror with a satisfied nod. Sara appeared in front of him with a wide smile highlighting her features as she smoothed out the collar.

"Can't keep your hands off me huh?" he grinned as she met his eye with a flat expression "can't say I blame you Sara. I make this look good"

"You'll be making it look good on a park bench if you don't hurry up and get home"

Greg strode into the living room and slipped on his shoes. Sara handed him his watch and leaned back on the counter to watch him again as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Your reservation is at 6 and the bill is taken care of, get some flowers on the way home and… just tell her the truth. Tell her how you feel, honesty is important"

He shifted nervously as he smoothed down his hair again and retrieved his wallet from last night's clothes. This was potentially a make or break moment in his relationship, he hadn't quite realized the magnitude of it all before now.

"You look great, go knock em dead"

Sara held the door open with a soft reassuring smile; he was suddenly reluctant to leave. His heart was gripped with a feeling of dread. Caitlyn was bound to fear the worst. He had given her no reason not to.

"I'd rather not knock her dead you see…. I'm not really into the whole Necrophilliac thing…"

"Greg, you can't hide here forever" she placed a kiss on his cheek and gently steered him outside. "You need to do this"

"Can I hide here after if she stomps on my poor defenseless sacrificial heart?"

"Of course, just don't make it in the middle of the night ok?"

The entire cab ride over he had run through all the possible scenarios in his head. It occurred to him that going to Sara's probably wasn't the best idea he'd ever had, in hindsight he really should have gone after Caitlyn straight away and made her see sense, in reality all he had done was give weight to her already heavy argument.

He brandished the bunch of flowers in front of him like a sword, his first line of defense in his strategy to woo her back was to wave something pretty at her and look sorry. He turned his keys in the lock as quietly as he could manage, hoping she would still be asleep or doing some work in the office. He wanted to have the element of surprise, hoping he could gage her mood long before she started throwing things.

The first thing that hit him when he walked through the door was the smell. A heavy pine fragrance filled the air, his dark wood floors shone in the sunlight pouring in through the wide open windows. The thin curtains blew into the air in the breeze like they were trying to break free. The whole room was eerily immaculate, like he had just stepped into a show home. It didn't help suppress his nerves at all. His shoes clicked on the floor and echoed around the room as he slowly made his way across to the kitchen. There was no sign of Caitlyn at all, none of her ridiculously cheery, mainstream music, no tapping of computer keys, no chatting on the phone or chick flick on the TV. He pulled a vase from under the sink and filled it with water for the flowers with another suspicious glance around. This was all off, she was supposed to be mad at him and she had spent the night cleaning the apartment. He was well aware her OCD could manifest itself in stressful situations but this was ridiculous.

She emerged from the bathroom; her figure framed in the doorway by the light pouring in. her hair was tied in a messy knot, the dress replaced with a vest and a pair of joggers that clung to her curves but she looked completely drained of the sparkle she always seemed to exude as she stood there wringing a cloth in her hands. Her eyes were red, either from crying or from using too much bleach; her hands were dry and cracked, the skin at the sides of her fingernails broken and angry from where she had been biting them.

He had only seen her like this once before, in college. They had attended together, although he had graduated a year before her she followed him to Stanford. Their friends joked that that was how inseperable they were, the truth was his mother wouldn't let him attend any other college and she was stuck working at her parent's restaurant to fund her education. She had found out her boyfriend had been cheating on her with her then best friend Lois. Since she lived with Lois he had come home to find her furiously scrubbing the floors of his room much to the amusement of his room-mate Clive. In that circumstance he had simply wrapped her in his arms and held her until the tears stopped, he was good at that. He was good at picking up the piece's after someone else had broken them down but now that he was faced with the fact he was the one who had broken her he faltered at the first hurdle.

"Hi…" he offered quietly, suddenly feeling self-conscious and unsure. She stared at the rag in her hands looking like every tiny morsel of confidence had been sapped out of her and his heart ached for the beautiful woman she had been before, he wanted to go to her. To wrap her up and tell her she had it all wrong but she flinched when he took a step towards her. Her hands tightened around the cloth so that her knuckles were strained and white and she fixed her eyes on his feet. He may have seen her in OCD cleaning mode before but he had never, ever seen her looking so scared and so uncertain.

"I um… I got you flowers" he gestured to the now discarded bunch of flowers on the kitchen counter. "Sara got us a table at the Eiffel Tower later… if… if you want to go that is…. With me"

She finally met his eye, dragging her gaze from the floor and looking at him with eyes brimming with tears. The guilt he felt welling up inside him was almost too much to bear. He cleared the space between them as quickly as he dared, enveloping her in his embrace and whispering his apologies into her hair.

"please… don't apologise to me…" she whispered, the sound disappearing into his chest.

"I shouldn't have gone, I was an idiot" he began, running his hands gently down her arms while she furiously shook her head. She tried to speak but he placed a finger on her lips "I just slept on her couch, I promise. I would never, EVER cheat on you. Not in a million years would it ever even enter my mind."

"Greg…" she almost begged him to stop talking.

"Megan Fox could walk in here right now and offer herself to me, no strings attached and I would say no" he smiled to no avail, she was still looking at him with the same pained expression, with the same sorrow.

"Greg, please…."

"do you know how hot Megan Fox is, Cait?" she laughed through her tears and he decided he was in the clear, kissing the tears from her eyes as he guided her to the couch and sat down with her "I'm not going to promise I won't see Sara again." She nestled into his chest as he lay back against the soft pillow's and relaxed into the warm sunshine spilling in through the window's "She is important to me, she's very important to me in fact but I will promise that you'll be important to me too, because I love you. Probably a lot more than you know, I always have"

"Greg… I have to tell you something…"

She twisted her body to look at him, searching his eyes for sincerity and he didn't have to fake it. Every word he said was true. Her breath trembled as she met his lips, a weary hand resting on his chest and feeling the pounding of his heart.

"you don't have to say anything" he hushed her with his soothing tones, stroking her face gently.

"I'm sorry Greg, I …"

He silenced her protests with a kiss, a long, slow, meaningful kiss that made all her protests melt away. His thumb traced small circles on the exposed skin of her back, a gesture he had become familiar with over the past few months but one that still had her shivering in his arms.

She turned around and placed a leg on either side of his body and twisted her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his as she ran her fingers through his hair. Her lips brushed over his ear, her tongue darting out to tease him as she nibbled the soft flesh of his earlobe and breathed on his neck a heavy lustful sigh. Greg's hands instinctually stroked the length of her back and tilted her hips towards him, pulling her closer as he teased her soft neck with his tongue.

"I love you too Mr. Sanders" she breathed into his ear, knowing full well it would drive him crazy. He sunk further into the couch, taking a moment to drink in the beauty of the woman in front of him. It still struck him sometimes that she was his. He would still gaze at her as she slept or lounged about in one of his shirts and marvel at the serendipity of it all. She caught his eye with a smile as she unbuttoned his Grissom-shirt "but I do not believe for one second you would turn down Megan Fox!"

Greg wrapped his arms around her and gently lay her back on the soft pillow's of the sofa, his lips dancing over hers "it's true, let's take a raincheck on dinner and I'll prove it!"


	8. Chapter 8

Caitlyn approached the lab with her eyes focused on the breaking morning sunrise above Las Vegas. Greg had promised her an entire day of alone time, just the two of them, starting with breakfast and ending with their postponed reservation at the Eiffel Tower restaurant. They both had the night off, a rare occurrence these days and they intended to make the most of what could be the only joint night off they shared for the next few weeks. She had pinned the hopes of their entire relationship on today.

"Well hello there." A familiar voice cooed in her ear.

She turned to see Nick standing beside her with a warm smile, following her eyes to the pink hue of the sky he frowned and turned back to meet her eye. It was the first time she had laid eyes on him since their passion had taken over; she'd been avoiding him for more than a week. She could feel her cheeks flush with red, the embarrassment of their last meeting making it almost impossible for her to form words. He must have sensed her discomfort and he certainly noticed her reluctance to meet his eye.

"You know, we both had a lot to drink the other night…" he began, noting the horror in her expression as she took a deep breath and held the air in her lungs "can we just start over?"

Caitlyn's eyes returned to the skyline, as though she was studying it for answers, as though it would somehow tell her what to do.

"I think that's a good idea" she smiled shyly, reaching out her hand to his. "Caitlyn Anderson, it's nice to meet you"

"Good to meet you Ma'am, Nick Stokes" he shook her hand, holding her eye contact probably a little longer than he should. "You looking for Greg?"

"Yeah, we're going to breakfast. Haven't heard from him all night though…" she slipped her cellphone out of her pocket to check for messages before shaking her head a little and shrugging in Nicks direction. He figured Greg had probably still not been in touch, it wasn't unusual for him to leave his personal cell in his locker though, especially if he was in a hurry to get to a case, which he usually was when he was sent out with Sara. She had this strange need to always be the driver and Greg had this equally strange need to try and beat her to the driver's seat. He realized she was looking to him for an explanation, he wasn't totally sure he could give her one she'd be happy with.

"He's been out at a DB in the desert all night, he and Sara left at the start of shift."

The disappointment in her face was unmistakable and an awkward silence settled over them as she stood there beside him, unsure what to do with herself now she had been stood up. He shifted nervously from one foot to the other debating what to do; he had just wrapped a case. He could feasibly take her out for breakfast himself and take away the hurt in her eyes but he was well aware that that was likely to be a really bad idea considering how their last 'platonic' date had gone. He did know he had to say something to break the tension surrounding them like a net.

"You're… ok with them now?" he asked quietly.

The silence continued but he could see her searching the horizon for her answer, the inner turmoil evident in her eyes. Whatever she said it was likely to be a lie, she was thinking far too hard about it.

"I've accepted it; I guess I just have to"

She met his eye in an attempt to feign confidence but he knew her better than that. He knew that deep down she was still struggling to deal with it and her mask slipped as they shared a moment. He hated having these moments with her, the ones that made his heart ache and his breath catch in his throat. There was a connection there, something a lot stronger than lust and that worried him. This was Greg's girl; he had no right to be looking at her that way.

"What do you think they talk about?" she asked quietly, almost as if she was afraid to ask.

Nick frowned, if she was looking for reassurance she had come to the wrong person. "What do you mean?"

"They spend so much time together at work... outside of work... what do you think they talk about?" he eyes had moved away from him, back to studying the candy floss clouds that hovered over the city.

Nick took a deep breath, looking down at her as she stared out into space filled with worry and sorrow. He licked his lips, took a deep calming breath and reached out his hand to stroke her arm. "Well… what do we talk about?"

She whipped her head up quickly, meeting his eye with a smirk "not exactly a great example there Nick…."

Before he could think up a comeback they were distracted by a car pulling into the parking lot, the music blaring out of its open windows and its tyres screeching on the too hot asphalt as it sped into an empty space by the back door. Greg stumbled out of the passenger side, a handful of evidence bags in his hands. Sara casually slid out of the driver's door eyeing him with a smile.

"You nearly killed me you maniac! This is why I should drive" Greg teased, moving around to the front of the car.

Nick and Caitlyn watched them from their position on the stairs; neither Greg nor Sara noticed their scrutiny. They were too busy teasing each other.

"Stop being a drama queen Sanders" she laughed punching him playfully on the arm as they fell into step together heading towards the lab.

"You're just sexually frustrated" he laughed as she punched him again, this time making him rub the rapidly forming bruise and frown at her. Greg raised his hand pretending to punch her but laughing when she flinched, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close to his chest.

"ahh you don't like it when the shoe's on the other foot do you Sidle?" he combatted her eye roll with a kiss on her forehead and they disappeared into the building, leaving Nick watching Caitlyn as she gazed after them sadly, the silence hovering in the air like a hot summers day. She was probably well justified in her jealousy, he felt genuinely bad for her as she stood there chewing on her bottom lip in an attempt to stave off the emotions she was feeling.

"Hey, you know what? I think you owe me a breakfast anyway" he smiled as she turned to look at him with a frown "I paid last time"

"I thought we were starting over?" she said with a sly smile as she tore her eyes away from the empty space left by Greg and Sara.

He nodded his head towards his car and started walking with her following a few seconds later "we are"

"Then you definitely paid the first time we went for breakfast, it's only fair we stick to the routine!" she looped her arm in his and met his eye with a small smile of thanks, resting her head on his shoulder for a moment. The short drive to the diner was mostly taken up with arguing over the radio station, an argument that was never resolved and continued as they walked through the door and took their position in a booth.

Caitlyn's phone chimed almost the second their food arrived, he knew it was Greg right away. The expression on her face quickly turned from curiosity to amusement as she turned it around and slid it across the table to him with a sigh.

"Sorry babe, been on a case all day with Nick. Will catch you in time for dinner." He read aloud before eyeing her eating her breakfast, trying to gage her reaction to the lie she had been fed. She looked up at him with a smile and another shrug, like she had given up trying to understand and had moved on to simple acceptance.

"You know...Greg's never going to give Sara up" the smile fell from her face, a cloud of self-doubt darkening her eyes as she looked at him with a defeated nod. He turned back to his breakfast, keen to break away from the prolonged eye contact. She stared into her breakfast as his eyes darted back to her every few seconds.

"Maybe... you could find someone..." he began quietly, gazing at her as he hunched over his breakfast. "To spend your time with...like Greg spends his time with Sara" she was watching him, fork poised midway in the air as she pondered his proposition, and it took all his self-control to stop himself from meeting her gaze. "Someone you get on with, you know...someone who makes you laugh"

"Someone like you, you mean?" she was staring at him, willing him to meet her eye but that was something he really didn't want to do. He was regretting suggesting it to her already; he didn't trust himself with her.

"No, not me…" she leaned across the table, searching for his eyes and he was caught in her gaze, drawn in to her eyes, despite his protests, an impish smile crossing over her face. "Not me Caitlyn, that's a bad idea"

"you're right" she said, breaking the eye contact and throwing herself back on the booth so she was slouched back like a frustrated teenager, chewing on a fingernail with her arms folded across her chest.

"I am?" she nodded quickly, keeping her eyes fixed on the table as she reached for her coffee. "Well … why?"

"You said it Nicky, you tell me"

"Well…I don't know why. I just can't do it"

She looked almost broken, staring into her coffee, trailing a lone fingernail across the pattern on the side. The truth was he wasn't sure if being her friend would ever be enough for him, there would always be the risk they would cross the line and he couldn't do that to Greg.

He watched her sitting there with a real urge to wrap her in his arms; he could take all her pain away. He could obliterate all the loneliness and while he might not get what he inevitably wanted, he could make her happy. Even if it wasn't _really_ because she was with him, even if he was inadvertently helping her relationship with Greg, at the very least she would be happy.

"Alright" he sighed reluctantly, pleased with the reaction he got from her "but I will not be roped into 3 day movie marathons"

"Scout's honor" she smiled as she squeezed his hand. He would swear that her touch burned into his skin, leaving the trace of her fingerprints on his palm. If he looked hard enough he could convince himself he would always have a part of her. When he looked back at her she was tapping something on her phone. A message to Greg he imagined, she had been sufficiently reassured and now she was going to run back into Greg's arms with nothing but a backwards glance at him. Strangely, he had a feeling that was always the way it was going to be.

He waved her off, pretending that he was happy to see her smiling again. He could only guess what she had planned with her afternoon; he intended to sleep until dinner. With any luck he would be burning up his excess energy later. He had pulled many strings to get a reservation at the Eiffel tower so he slept safe in the knowledge that at least one person would have him on top of her to do list tonight.

He could have cursed his unconscious mind for handing him dreams of Caitlyn. He had really tried everything he could to cleanse his mind of her before he went to bed and yet she had still joined him when he closed his eyes. Now he waited for the elevator to take him and his companion to the top of the Eiffel tower, casting his eyes over her slowly, cataloguing all the ways in which she fell short before reminding himself to bite his tongue and make the best of it.

"Reservation for Stokes please?" he smiled at the maître de distractedly as she scanned the long list of names.

"I'm sorry sir, I don't have that name here…" she remarked with faux sympathy in her voice.

"Check again please, I reserved this table weeks ago" he moved his eyes to his date; this was the most she had been interested in him since he had picked her up. Whatever relationship they had it had most certainly gone stale lately. He blamed his unfathomable fascination with Caitlyn.

Again the woman shook her head apologetically and he was forced to face up to the fact that they wouldn't be eating in the Eiffel tower tonight. Nick stomped towards the elevator with anger radiating out of every pore. He had promised his 'sort of girlfriend' a meal here, he had made such a big deal out of getting the reservation he didn't mind admitting he was embarrassed about being sent packing. She wanted to come here for her birthday, he was onto major brownie points if he could pull the night off and he had failed. They had managed to ruin the evening before it even got started and now he was faced with the prospect of taking his date to the in and out burger for her birthday meal. He punched the button and turned back to take in the disappointed expression his date now wore.

She pressed buttons on her phone, clearly bored with his company already. The elevator doors slid open and he whirled back round only to collide full force with Caitlyn, his hands instinctually reaching out and holding her against him to stop her falling over. She gasped at the contact, catching his eye for a second before scrambling away from him in a fluster.

"Sorry, wasn't watching where I was going!" he apologized with a smile, turning his attention to Greg quickly.

Caitlyn looked over Nick's date with an air of disapproval; she was pretty, very pretty in fact, manicured nails, sleek blonde hair and a figure she had clearly worked for. Her dress clung to her body like a second skin; it was practically begging men to peel it off. Caitlyn couldn't remember the last time she had seen the inside of a gym and she had never had a manicure of any description, she was suddenly very aware of her too short, mostly chewed, unpolished nails and her half-heartedly blow dried hair. The dress she had been incredibly happy with on her way here suddenly seemed so demure and plain she was half tempted to run into the bathroom and customize the length to give herself a slightly better hand. This struck her as odd when she thought about it; she was here on a date with Greg feeling jealous of Nick's date.

"You just leaving? Sara got us a table… how's the food?" Greg questioned enthusiastically.

"We don't know, they lost our reservation" he grumbled "uh Stacey, this is ….uh Greg and Caitlyn… very good friends of mine"

Despite himself he found he was looking at Caitlyn as he spoke. Stacey smiled in their direction in a dismissive kind of way and turned her attention back to her phone while Greg raised an eyebrow towards Nick by way of approval. Caitlyn playfully elbowed him in the stomach as a warning shot.

"You guys should just sit with us" Greg offered cheerily, choosing to ignore the shocked expression Caitlyn shot his way "it'll be fun, come on they won't mind squeezing an extra two chairs in"

He didn't wait for an answer, taking off in the opposite direction and sweet talking Stacey as he went. Caitlyn rolled her eyes and fell into step with Nick, the air between them thick and awkward as he stole glances at her out of the corner of his eye. She could obviously feel his eyes on her, as they were led to the table she met his gaze with a coy smile sending his heart into turmoil all over again as it raced ahead of his conscious thought.

He was seated beside her, directly across from Stacey who was now deep in conversation with Greg about the price of breast implants. She was very open about just about everything; it was one of the things that had drawn him to her in the first place. She was extremely charismatic when she wanted to be and incredibly uninhibited. Considering she had just met them it was completely inappropriate to be discussing breast size and designer vaginas but she spoke about it as though she was discussing afternoon tea. Caitlyn watched them with complete disbelief; he couldn't help but laugh at her open mouthed surprise at the way the conversation was going.

"What's so funny?" she raised an eyebrow as she swirled her wine around in the glass before leaning forward and whispering "I think your girlfriend might be a porn star"

He almost spat his drink all over her, Greg and Stacey eyeing them suspiciously in their hilarity while the other diners looked on in disapproval.

As it turned out Stacey wasn't in fact a porn star, although an exotic dancer wasn't very far removed from that particular career path it was apparently very interesting to Greg who hung on her every word the entire duration of the meal. The conversation flowed freely among everyone despite their concerns. Greg even educated them on the history of the area as the wine glasses emptied faster than they could be filled and the sound of live piano music filled the air.

It was incredibly romantic, only rather than meeting the eye of their significant other's over the candle lit table Nick and Caitlyn found themselves drawn together like moth's to a flame. While Greg indulged in yet another story of 'old Vegas' pleased to have a willing new pair of ears to listen to him, they found themselves lost in their own conversation. The awkward silence long forgotten and their last encounter locked away in a forbidden part of their memory bank never to be mentioned again.

During dessert everything came flooding back to him though, the cheesecake Caitlyn ordered was causing her to sigh with pleasure, making his body react in completely inappropriate ways. She placed her hand on his leg under the table, what should have been a completely innocent gesture felt like a shot of lightening coursing through his veins.

"You have to try this, it is to die for!"

She stretched the fork out to his mouth, the soft texture of the cream melting on his tongue as he met her eye for a prolonged moment. She was frozen there for a moment; suddenly aware that they weren't really behaving appropriately she cleared her throat and looked away. He could feel his heart somersaulting in his chest as he swallowed the lump building in his throat. This was so wrong; he really didn't understand why he didn't feel that way about Stacey.

He did try, on paper she had it all – the looks, the moves, the uninhibited nature and she had a decent personality too. He tried really hard to feel something more than lust for her but if he was perfectly honest as he looked across the table at her discussing her routine with Greg she almost turned him off, which coincidentally was just what he needed right now.

As the evening drew to a close the restaurant began to come back to life with the disruption of new arrivals, the night sky lit up with the neon glow of the strip as they stood in the glass elevator headed back to reality. Greg slung his arm around Caitlyn's shoulders, placing a soft kiss on her forehead as they gazed out over the Las Vegas skyline together. The entire length of her body was touching him, right down to her feet as she sunk into his arms and he felt a heavy disappointment settle in his stomach. They actually looked good together, he could see the way they felt about each other in their body language. It made him feel empty to see how easily they fell into each other embrace, how natural it seemed for them to kiss each other.

Caitlyn met his eye over Greg's shoulder and he had a sudden urge to make her jealous, twirling Stacey around in his arms and sweeping her into an over dramatic kiss. It was childish of him, he knew it was but he found that the only way he could deal with the display of affection in front of him was to manipulate one of his very own. He made his excuses and left with Stacey in tow, intending to go home and vent all his sexual frustrations.

Greg took Caitlyn's hand into his and they strolled across the busy road to stand by the famous Bellagio fountains, the music began to sound and the water danced and frolicked as tourists cheered and cooed over the display. For the first time that night Greg was too caught up in her to notice, his hand carefully caressed her cheek, moving her unruly hair away from her face as he looked into her eyes. The lights from the fountain cast different colored shadows on his face as he moved in to kiss her. That all too familiar feeling of guilt build up inside her as she tried to shake off the traces of Nick weighing heavily on her mind.

She wanted to melt into Greg's arms and let the rest of the night disappear in their sighs and whispers but she just couldn't seem to let go. They walked home, discussing the varied patronage Vegas seemed to attract as they weaved their way in and out of them hand in hand. She had certainly missed this, this easy, fun, companionship she had once shared with Greg.

It hit her suddenly how lucky she was, she felt genuinely blessed to be able to throw her arms around him as they casually strolled through the insanity that was south Las Vegas Boulevard while they laughed together. She was revitalized by the realization that they hadn't really lost the spark as she was beginning to suspect, It had simply been placed on the back burner while they figured out exactly where they were going. Now she knew that the best thing to do was to stop focusing so much on where it as going, to stop thinking about the future and the what ifs and to live in the now and right now she wanted Greg. In every sense of the word, and that is exactly what she intended to get.

She made no secret of the fact either, she pressed herself against him and stroked her hand the length of his chest hovering over the waistband of his pants and carefully drawing her thumb across his skin as she caressed the crook of his neck with her lips as she backed against a wall, pulling him with her. He rocked against her, gently stroking his hands across her waist. He pressed his eyes closed and allowed her to wash over him for a few moments until he suddenly broke contact and pulled away.

"No Cait, I… I can't" she was incredibly confused and Greg just started walking away making her run to catch up with him.

"What do you mean, you can't?" she reached out and took his hand again, Greg wasn't normally one to reject her advances. His sex drive was higher than most people, a fact that he prided himself on, sometimes too much. She pulled on his hand forcing him to stop walking and look at her.

"I… I just can't. Not tonight" he squeezed her hand in what he obviously hoped was a reassuring gesture but it didn't work.

"I don't understand Greg, what's going on?"

"Ok, promise you won't be mad" he turned her to face him and she nodded despite the fact she was already angry with him for asking her not to be angry. It was a catch 22 situation, as soon as a person said that it was inevitable that whatever they said was going to be bad. "I made a deal with Sara that I wouldn't have sex until she did"

She couldn't believe what she was hearing; she stared at Greg as he grinned at her with his very best innocent expression. She let his hand drop and backed away slowly. "Are you kidding me?" she almost shouted in his direction, completely bewildered at his decision and the fact that he shook his head as though it was the most normal thing in the world for him to do. "You're not going to have sex with me because Sara said so?"

"It's not like that Cait; it's just for fun… and money. I bet her $300 I could do it"

"Great, I'm glad she's now manipulating our sex life too. Why not? She manipulates everything else"

"Cait…" he tried to smooth over this as best he could but she waved her hand at him and walked away. It was her defense mechanism, when things got too much for her she removed herself from the situation until she could deal with it. She always had and he knew that he had to let her go and clear her head.

That didn't stop him trying to chase after her as she stomped across the road and hailed a cab, she could hear his protests and apologies as she slipped inside but she ignored them. She wasn't sure where she was going but she was sure of one thing… she had to get as far away from him as she could.

Greg stood watching the cab disappear into the night. He knew she would flip when she found out, he had hoped that the fancy meal would soften the blow a little but the competitor in him knew he wouldn't let this one go. It was one of his best and worst traits. Greg Sanders would never give up.


	9. Chapter 9

It was late into the night when she crept into bed beside him. The chill from her skin penetrated his warm cocoon under the blankets as she slid into the bed. It wasn't a conscious act for him to slink his arm around her as she settled her body into the vacant space, it was just something that he always did. At first she flinched against his touch, her body stiffened with tension until she shimmied her body in against his, her hand stroking his arm as it draped around her.

"Mmmm you came home..." he murmured into her hair, still barely conscious.

"Where else would I go?" She responded flatly.

He wasn't entirely sure what she meant by that statement and he was too tired to waste time trying to analyze her tone, instead he pulled her closer and felt slumber washing over him. Caitlyn however had other ideas, she was restless. Very restless, she shifted around in the bed eventually turning to face him. She stared at him for a long time as he pretended to keep sleeping. He lazily opened one eye to see her watching him intently.

"What is it Cait?" He groaned.

"Do you remember when we were in the fifth grade and you went to visit your relatives in Norway for most of the summer?"

"I really hope you are going somewhere with this…" he groaned, stretching out on the bed and rubbing the dew of sleep out of his eyes.

"Well, I waited for you to come back. I waited every day in our tree house, for almost the whole summer"

Greg propped his head up on his elbow and watched her, trying to keep up with her train of thought and realizing he was failing miserably. He used to be so good at reading her, better than anyone in fact, but lately she had been noticeably withdrawing from him. He laced the fingers of his other hand in hers, his fingertips loitering over the tips of her fingers as he nodded for her to continue.

"When you came back I was so excited I almost broke the wheels of my bike cycling to your house" she chuckled a little but it was tinged with sadness rather than a happy laugh. "I remember catching up to you and hugging you, I asked you to come out and play but you said no. you looked at me like a stranger"

"I was probably just jetlagged Caitlyn… I don't even remember" he flopped back down on the bed rubbing his temple in an attempt to disperse the stress she was causing him as he tried to work out what she was saying.

"You spent the rest of the summer playing with James and I bombed out till you got bored with him"

Now he saw where she was going, he sat up in bed and sighed, there was really no defense to something he did when he was 10 years old. James had eventually turned out to be a big part of both their childhood's but he didn't like Caitlyn at first and Greg had just relished having a boy to play with, especially one his parents approved of.

"Cait…"

"It wasn't the last time either, Greg" she met his eye, he figured she was probably mad but her expression was one of sorrow "I'm tired of being second best all the time"

He really didn't know what to say, he genuinely had no idea he had made her feel that way. Not with James or with Kendall or Julie or Marshall or all the other friends who had passed through his life and made her disappear into the background and she was right, she did get discarded for flavor of the month. It wasn't a conscious decision on his part; he just had a short attention span.

"Cait, I'm sorry… I didn't know" he stroked her face gently; it was beginning to become clear that Caitlyn's insecurities went a lot further than just Sara. He brought her hand to his mouth, placing kisses on each of her fingers "you're not second best, you never have been. I'm sorry if I made you feel like that. I… never wanted to hurt you."

Greg had _technically_ been unfaithful to Caitlyn before; during a long hot summer in his final year of college they had embarked on a rather ill-fated romance. While they were never officially a couple they had certainly been acting like it and at one point they had let their guard down and opened the floodgates. It had consumed them both in its fire instantly rendering them helpless to each other. They had been so compatible then, on paper they were the perfect couple and were destined to spend their lives together. It had been a beautiful time spent wrapped in each other's arms but there had been one thing standing between them.

Sex.

Caitlyn had made it clear early on that she didn't want to go there until they were both very sure about it. It was a big step for two friends to make, so he was willing to let her wait as long as she needed. That was until Helene came on the scene and changed everything.

Helene Lund was a Norwegian exchange student, sent to the US for the summer semester and coincidentally sharing a room with Caitlyn. She was stunningly beautiful, long flowing blonde hair, piercing blue eyes and a sweet, unassuming nature. There had been a spark immediately, as soon as he laid eyes on her he turned into that geeky, lanky high school kid who had no idea how to talk to girls. While he had never had much interest in his heritage before he suddenly found it fascinating and spent hours with Helene hearing her tales and hanging on her every word. Back then Caitlyn had been so assured in his faithfulness it hadn't bothered her, she had been so convinced of his loyalty she actually encouraged him to spend time with Helene and in the end it was inevitable they would fall into bed together.

Caitlyn had walked in on them, caught up in their passion and completely oblivious to her presence. She had stood there in the doorway with her eyes fixed on their tangled bodies like she was hypnotized. It should have been her; she should have been his first. But curiosity and lust had taken over and in the heat of the moment he hadn't been thinking at all. Every conscious thought had left his mind, he was just reacting. It was all physical but it ruined everything he had been building with Cait.

He leaned over and kissed her softly, the tiny smile she graced him with letting him know he was forgiven. At least until he ditched her again. Her hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him against her and deepening their kiss. She took a deep breath, relaxing into the soft pillows but he pulled away from her slowly, making her reach for him again. With a moan she pulled him to her, her lips finding that sensitive spot under his ear that made him shudder with anticipation.

"Cait… no" he growled as her hand snaked down his chest gently "don't do this..."

He looked into her eyes, her beautiful eyes that were pleading with him for a little physical reminder that they did in fact have a relationship worth working on but he couldn't do it. As much as he may have wanted to, really wanted to, he had made a promise to Sara that was much more than just a bet.

"I won't tell her Greg" she cooed in his ear "come on… just this once"

She would not be discouraged; her hands kept sliding down his chest no matter how many times he shook them off. She was a woman on a mission, it just so happened that her mission was out of bounds for the next while and she had turned into a crazed sexual predator overnight. He slid her hand out of his boxers and pinned it above her head, his face hovering above hers.

"That's more like it Sandy, are you going to ravage me now?" she teased, the glimmer of lust adding a playfulness to her eyes.

"Stop it Cait… I'm not kidding" he hissed, pinning her other hand and attempting to calm his rapid breathing.

"Oh how can I help myself when you're just so damn sexy?"

He let his grip loosen on her hands and rolled off of the bed, stomping away into the living room with a shake of his head. She saw him wrap a blanket around his shoulders and lie on the couch with a sigh before he flicked off the lamp and plunged the room into darkness.

It seemed like sex was always destined to be an issue between them.

He didn't sleep very well on the couch, the fabric was scratchy and irritating, and the noise from the traffic outside droned on and on and on. Add to that the fact he was insanely aroused and nothing he could do would help him relax enough to go back to sleep. In the end he had enough of begging sleep to come and resorted to playing video games.

That was how she found him the next morning, slumped back on the couch with the Xbox controller in his hand and his mouth gaping open. She shook her head as she purposefully stomped about as noisily as she could. He jumped as she slammed the fridge door closed, taking in the image of her leaning back against the counter eating her cereal and attempting to think of a way to raise the subject of their sex life without upsetting her. In the end she brought it up in that subtle way she always brought things up when they were going to give him a headache.

"So… how long am I supposed to expect this vow of celibacy to last?" she turned away from him, cleaning her bowl and spoon so he had a few seconds to think up an appropriate answer.

"That depends how long it takes for Grissom to make it home"

She shook her head and poured herself a cup of coffee, sitting down without offering him one or even meeting his eye. She curled up in the chair and stared out of the window.

"How long was he gone last time?" she almost whispered into her mug without looking away from the window. "I mean, you used to tell me he'd be gone for months"

"Sometimes he is" he was beginning to get a little irate as he made his own coffee. He simply didn't understand why she was taking it so personally. It was supposed to be the men in relationships who took sex so seriously "why does it matter? Is sex really that important to you?"

"It's not just about the sex Greg; it's about being close to someone you love. It's … more than sex"

He shook his head as he finished off his coffee, she was being ridiculous. Any other woman would probably have been happy to be free from the expectation of sex; he would have been doing them a favor by taking away the physical aspect of the relationship and focusing on the more personal side. With a sigh he placed his mug on the small table by the couch and picked up his controller again, going back to his game without missing a beat.

"I'll clean that up for you then shall I?" Caitlyn smirked as she retrieved his mug and the cluster of plates he had collected on the table overnight. She was anal about cleaning plates almost the second they were finished with. It was in stark contrast to his laid back attitude that they would still be there whenever he got round to running out of plates altogether. "I dread to think what this place would be like if I didn't live here"

"Well I never had any complaints Cait, paper plates are the future!"

Her eye roll didn't go unnoticed either; it was almost as though she was looking for an argument today. Maybe this was what sexual frustration did to women, by withholding sex he was breeding some kind of super aggressive argumentative woman likely to snap at the slightest thing.

"Greg you're not in college any more, you need to start acting like a grown up." She insisted placing the washed plate in her hand aside and turning to him.

"What do you mean?" Greg frowned at her.

"I mean... the paper plates, throwing sweets around, leaving pizza boxes everywhere." With one hand on her hip and the other resting on the kitchen counter she continued.

"Seriously Cait, there is nothing wrong with how I live." He said half-heartedly without taking his eyes off the screen.

Caitlyn looked at the man before her with her teeth gritted stopping more argumentative words slipping out even though she could feel them bubbling up inside. He didn't listen. And it was starting to drive her insane.

She shook her head and threw the washcloth down on the counter as she disappeared to get ready for work, leaving Greg bewildered at her behavior, cross-legged on the couch with only the Xbox for company.

Xxx

The heat enveloped the car in its thick haze as he watched the clock registering another hour stuck in traffic. It was the thing he hated most about driving home after a shift ran into overtime, the traffic was ridiculous. It stretched into the distance as far as the eye could see and they were showing no sign of moving. The beginning of summer and a heat wave either attracted everyone to Vegas or drove them all away, either way the cars weren't moving and the thermostat just kept on rising.

Nick leaned back in his seat, glad he was heading home after a long shift rather than struggling to get to one. The heat was still suffocating; no amount of air conditioning or open windows would combat it. It settled heavily around him making the highway wave and shimmer like a mirage.

He was reasonably close to his apartment; he could walk home quite easily. It would certainly be a better option than waiting to roast himself to death in a metal box on the highway. With a sigh he pulled the car over onto the dusty hard shoulder and began to wander back along the line of cars. A heat wave wasn't unusual at this time of year but when the thermostat hit 110 before 10am it was a day for staying at home wearing as little as possible with a lot of ice. Yet people still poured into their cars and set out on needless journeys and stared at him as if he was the one who was crazy. In retaliation he glared back at them, peering in each window he passed, taking in the eclectic mix of people. Elderly couples with the window's pulled up and the AC on full, irate toddlers and their stressed out mothers, young wannabe's in their sleek convertibles and overpriced sunglasses.

He was somewhat lost in his people watching when he stumbled into a pair of shoes. A pair of shoes he was sure he recognized. He looked up in surprise at the car beside them as he stepped over and peered in the window over the outstretched feet resting on the window frame. He held the shoe up as he leaned on the open window and took in Caitlyn's form. She was laid out across the two front seats in what had to be the most uncomfortable position possible. Her long legs stretched out in front of her and her hand curled around a book. She didn't notice him watching her; she was lost in her book and the blaring music.

"Maroon 5? Gets a little old after a while does it not?" he smiled down at her as she peered over the rim of her book and recognition cast over her.

"Some of us do in fact have the moves like Jagger Nick" she teased, scrambling to a seated position and sending him a beaming smile. "What are you doing here?"

"Going for a walk" he surveyed the ever increasing line of traffic and turned back to her "care to join me?"

Caitlyn sighed as she took in the closely packed cars, the fact that she had moved no more than a cars length in 2 hours convincing her that she could feasibly play hooky from work without suffering dire consequences. She nodded cheerfully and started the engine.

"Can I have my shoes back?"

"These are completely inappropriate walking shoes" he declared, spinning one round on his finger as he slid into the passenger seat. She snatched it out of his hands with a smile and narrowed eyes as she looked for the other one.

"$800 shoes are appropriate for all occasions Mr. Stokes" she grinned.

A thick plume of orange dust blew over the car and surrounding traffic as she pulled off the road and killed the engine again. Retrieving her other shoe and slipping them onto her feet before following him out of the car much to the bewilderment of their fellow traffic jam prisoners.`

"Where are we going?" she asked as she fell into step beside him.

"You really should have asked that before coming with me" he grinned at her as she slung her purse over her shoulder and took a swig of her water.

"Why? I trust you" she raised her eyebrows with a smile, he could tell today was going to be a challenging one already. The heat made her skin glisten and there was a lot of skin to glisten. He couldn't imagine any men got any work done at her office, not to mention the fact her blouse was very nearly see-through, although that could have been his over-active imagination.

"That would be your first mistake Miss Anderson. Strippers it is!"

"Yeah, like I haven't been to the strippers with Greg already!" she waved off his tease like it was nothing.

"How is the bet going?" he laughed, it seemed like a ridiculous idea to him. Why on earth a man would actively avoid sex he would never know.

"You know about that?" he nodded his response and she rolled her eyes "I don't want to talk about it"

"Ok, well I feel like an ice cream" he began, glancing at her out of the side of his eye. She needed cheering up; surely ice cream would do the trick. "I know this place on my way home that sells the best ice cream this side of the strip"

"You know I'm very fussy about my ice cream, Nick" she was smiling as she turned and started walking backwards in front of him. She held his eye as they walked, her hair bouncing behind her and a smile playing on the corners of her mouth.

"Oh really?" He failed to see how a person could be fussy about ice cream. It wasn't really a complicated dessert.

"Really" she was clearly teasing. "I mean, you really need to have a good ice cream to topping ratio or the whole thing is off"

"I see…"

"and texture is important too… there is nothing worse than ice cream with too many lumpy bits" She suppressed her smile and returned to walking by his side, kicking a pebble in front of her disturbing the sand and releasing a plume of orange dust every time. "The best ice cream is smooth, rich and full of flavor. And no nuts"

"Right, with no nuts" She gave him an over enthusiastic nod as he peered across at her "well I can't speak for the topping ratio but I can vouch for the ice cream. No nuts guaranteed"

"It's important to vet your ice cream carefully Nick, you just never know what kind of nut you will end up with"

"Oh I'll agree with you there. I've certainly had my fair share of nuts"

"I bet you have…"

A silence descended over them as Nick guided her off the highway and towards a tiny candy striped boutique perched on the end of a block with pretty bistro tables littering the grounds outside. He gently rested his hand on the small of her back, the heat from her body almost burning his fingertips. The chill in the air hit them as soon as they stepped inside, Caitlyn slipped into a booth by the window, gazing around at the patrons with curiosity before clutching the menu and ordering a triple raspberry and pineapple sundae. Nick raised an eyebrow as he ordered his own mint choc chip sundae.

"I like them fruity" she explained with a smile.

"Oh I can tell. You've been friends with Greg for how long again?"

She laughed the sound coursing through him like an electric shock. "probably too long!"

"Speaking of Greg… how are things with you guys?"

Caitlyn groaned and shook her head, staring out of the window as the waitress brought their almost artistic desserts over. She drew her finger across the layer of whipped cream and met his eye as she popped it in her mouth sending a shiver across his body he worked hard to suppress.

"Things are...going" She laughed humorlessly. "We're exactly how we've always been"

"Well not exactly the same…" he shrugged with a little more bitterness than he had intended. She met his eye for a moment before he broke the contact and pretended to be really interested in his sundae.

"No I mean exactly the same; he won't lay a hand on me. This stupid bet is killing me and it's like he doesn't even care. Like it's easy for him _not_ to want me" she looked up at him with a small embarrassed smile "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to rant. It's just… frustrating you know?"

She stared into her sundae as she twirled the spoon around between her fingers trying not to meet his eye. He sat there for a while trying to compose a good enough reply. Everything he thought of either sounded too rehearsed or was detrimental to Greg. She eventually raised her eyes to his, her head still bowed and the embarrassment still evident as she dropped her gaze the second he acknowledged it.

"Personally, I don't know how he can keep his hands off you" he gulped back the overwhelming urge to laugh it off and say something funny to kill the tension. The look she gave him right then convinced him he had said the right thing, the tiny smirk crossing her lips as she spooned the last of her sundae out of the glass filling him with a hope that he knew shouldn't be there. Hope was dangerous in this situation, hope was only going to lead to emotions that were altogether harder to suppress. "I know I couldn't…"


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you all for your reviews! I love how this has got you talking, and you all seem to be rooting for Cait and Nick at this point? WELL then... can't wait to see what you make of the next couple of chapters ;o) anyway, keep em coming its how I know you are still reading and enjoying :) P.s if you are a lurker feel free to come out of the woodwork - reviews are love - :) **

Nick tried to brush off his last comment, realizing just how inappropriate it was. You just don't go around telling your friends girlfriends you couldn't keep your hands off them, it wasn't the done thing. It shouldn't even have entered his mind.

He berated himself internally for his stupidity and didn't notice the huge dollop of ice cream sliding off his spoon. It didn't just land on his shirt either; it slid down his chest leaving a mess of green and brown sludge after it before plopping on his lap. Caitlyn bit her lip in an effort to tame the laugh bubbling up inside and failing as he met her eye.

"That's not even funny…"

"It is a little funny" she chuckled as she tossed him a bundle of napkins. They only made the stain worse, now it was smeared over most of his shirt. He threw the napkin down with a sigh.

"I look like a hobo now" he grumbled, realizing he had left his bag with a spare shirt in his car. "Can I go home before we go back to the cars?"

"You don't need permission to go home Nick…" she laughed, fishing in her purse for money and passing it to the waitress with the bill before he had a chance to protest.

"Yeah, I know but… it's nice to ask. I live right round the corner"

"Lead the way" she had slipped out of the booth before he even had the chance to register her agreement, she smiled as he stood up revealing the extent of the ice cream damage.

"It's still not funny Caitlyn" he chastised, only making her laugh more.

The short walk to Nick's apartment passed in silence, the heat closed in the second they left the boutique making it difficult to heave the air into their lungs as they trudged along the sidewalk together. Nick's first port of call when he stepped through the door was the air conditioning unit.

He waved her through and pulled his shirt over his head to throw into his laundry basket. Her eyes cast over his chest slowly as she nibbled lightly on her lower lip. His skin glistened with moisture, his movement across the room adding definition to his strong shoulders. The tension that had been steadily building between them was palpable in the confines of his apartment; he felt it tighten in his chest when she looked at him like that. He cleared his throat to dispel it and disappeared into the bedroom to get changed.

Caitlyn absentmindedly wandered around the living room. It was such a boy's home, the gadgets and sports memorabilia mingled easily with crime novels and forensics journals on the huge bookcase. It was obvious he was rarely home, the place was just too immaculate to be properly lived in.

"Help yourself to a drink if you want" Nick called from the bedroom breaking through her snooping.

In the short time it took her to get to the kitchen he emerged, fully dressed in a clean shirt and some shorts. She smiled as she passed him a bottle of water from the fridge, stepping aside as he shook his head and retrieved two from the freezer instead.

"Nothing better than a bottle of ice when you get back from the gym" he smiled passing her one of the frozen bottles.

"And exactly how are you supposed to drink a bottle of ice Nick?" she asked shaking the bottle and frowning at the lack of movement.

"Well that's what body heat is for Caitlyn" he clasped the bottle between his hands and rolled it around the heat from his body melting the ice slowly and allowing a trickle of cold water to escape the bottle.

"Oh _that's_ what body heat is for?" she smiled rolling the bottle across her forehead and down her neck, seductively meeting his eye. "I had it _all_ wrong"

He was awestruck; fascinated by the way the beads of moisture loitered on her skin, sparkling like diamonds. They nestled in the hollow of her neck and along her collarbone, he found himself staring at them, wondering what they would taste like. Then she was watching him, as he drew his tongue across his lips taking a deep breath. He tried to shake it off, the tension of the moment and the heat of the room making it difficult to focus on anything else. When he met her eye he found himself unable to break away, her expression mirrored his own. Longing, desire, anticipation all reflected in her eyes and that probably frightened him more than his own inappropriate lust.

The space between them seemed to disintegrate, their bodies drawn together by some kind of invisible pull. He didn't have the chance to chastise himself, his conscience had abandoned him. He was simply lost to her, hovering his lips over hers so that their breath mingled between them, a heady mixture of their unspoken desire. She was holding her breath; the sheer magnitude of the closeness of their bodies seemed to paralyze her. Her hand carefully rested on his chest, she drew breath when she touched him, meeting his eye again as she trembled against him.

"Nick…" she sighed his name, it made him shiver. He could imagine her speaking his name like that when they were wrapped around each other. His fantasy was interrupted by her pressing her hand firmer against his chest; he could feel air against his skin instead of the heat of her body. He realized suddenly just how much he yearned for the contact. "I … need to go"

She practically ran out of the apartment, he debated whether he should go after her or not. Standing there in the space she had once occupied he felt a sense of desperation like never before. He wasn't sure how many times he could blow it with her; he had crossed the line so many times he wasn't even sure where it was anymore. So he let her go, the scent of her perfume still lingering in the room, the whisper of her breath still brushing his lips.

Xxxx

"How's it going, stud?" Sara answered the phone with the playful tone she seemed to reserve only for him.

"As hunky as ever Sara... yourself?" he smiled into the phone despite himself as he wandered around the apartment in only his shorts and fixed himself a drink.

"I'm good, we still on for tonight?"

Greg glanced at the calendar hanging on the kitchen wall. Tuesday, Tuesday nights had been Sara's night for as long as he could remember. They spent it doing random things; frequenting every bar on the strip, losing a month's pay in the casino, going to the movies to watch the most obscure films they could find, taking a class in Thai cooking just so they could get a free meal. Tonight was bowling, in fact it had been bowling for the past 5 or 6 Tuesdays and she wouldn't change that until she finally beat him at it.

"Of course, are you ready to give up and admit you suck at bowling yet?" he teased as he fished in the freezer for some ice cream or something equally cold.

"Oh Greg, dear sweet Greg… you know that will never happen!"

He grinned and shook his head at her stubbornness, not that it was anything unusual. Sara was one of the most stubborn, defiant people he knew.

"A guy can dream Sara, one day I will finally be able to say I beat a woman at something… then I will die happily"

"Yeah, because she will kill you" she laughed. "How is Caitlyn? Has she planned your murder yet?"

He tried to keep the tone of the conversation light, for some reason Sara bringing up Caitlyn cast that horrible feeling of guilt over him. He was well aware he was pushing her away, she had told him as much. He just didn't know how to fix it.

"I wouldn't be surprised. I'm not exactly in the good books right now"

"What have you done?" she asked, her tone not instantly lowering but serious enough for him to realize she was genuinely interested.

"It's this sex ban thing… Caitlyn's not taking it well" in his honest opinion that was an understatement, Caitlyn didn't take anything he did well these days.

"you want me to let you out?" he could hear her taking a sip of her drink, pictured her curled up on her sofa with a book on her lap as she relaxed in the imposing heat.

"No I do not want you to 'let me out' you won't win that easily Sidle!"

She sighed and there was a moment of silence as she pondered his predicament. He held his breath awaiting her advice in the hope it would solve everything that was going wrong in his relationship. He knew it was highly unlikely she could offer him a pearl of wisdom that would do that but if he could fix this one tiny part then maybe the rest would follow suit.

"You know just because you're not getting any doesn't mean she had to suffer too" her tone was suggestive and he waited for her to continue "there are… _other _ways for her to get enjoyment Greg…"

"You think I should get her some… toys?" the schoolboy in him found the idea completely hilarious but if anyone knew sexual frustration in women it was Sara.

"I think it would only be fair. Women have needs too you know"

"Ok I'm on it. Thanks! See you tonight!" he hung up and threw on some clothes, he was on a mission and he knew just the place to go.

Greg nervously opened the door to the store not knowing where to settle his eyes once he was inside. He had been in places like this before. There was nothing to be embarrassed about he reminded himself as he began browsing the shelves. He was human. It didn't stop his cheeks flushing whenever anyone met his eye.

"Can I help you sir?" A rather peppy shop assistance approached him. Greg glanced at the girl standing next to him- she was young. Much younger than him. And as much as he hated having to admit it, it unnerved him.

"What are you looking for?" She asked her smile not faltering as she looked at the box he was holding in his hand.

"Something for my girlfriend... it's just... I have a bet with my best friend that I can't go as long as her without sex because her husband lives God knows where. I mean it's a lot of money... and I don't want to lose. Well I can't lose really, because its Sara and if I lose to Sara I will never live it down….But I want to get my girlfriend something to … make up for it..." Greg started rambling realizing that he no longer knew how to stop talking.

"I see..." The girl frowned slightly at him but regained her composure. "Well I'm sure we have something for you here."

Time seemed to slow as they steadily made their way around the shop and Greg found himself listening to the mechanics of almost every product that they sold. Over loaded with the information he had received he looked at the girl helpless almost begging her to just tell him what to buy.

"I think this would be perfect." She smiled placing the 'Love Box' in his hand. "It has a range of things for her."

"Thank you." He replied shyly. He paid and retreated out of the shop as quickly as he could swearing that next time he would plan it better and shop online. Greg stepped into the park lot glancing around to see if anyone he knew was around before heading to his car.

The drive home was dull; filled with chatter from the radio and the anticipation of seeing Caitlyn. He felt confident that things were finally getting back to track. There were problems. But all relationships had their problems and he intended on sticking by her and trying to work through all of the issues that had arisen between them.

Caitlyn wasn't the same. Not really. Then again neither was he. They had grown up. They'd had their hearts broken and learnt from their mistakes. But if Greg was honest he couldn't tell if it had done their relationship any good.

After pulling up in the drive way he took a deep breath attempting to gain his composure and courage back. He glanced in the rear view mirror and quickly fixed his hair before climbing out and locking the car, the discreet shopping bag in his hand.

Caitlyn was curled up on the couch when he got home, flicking through the channels on the TV looking incredibly bored. He moved across the room and placed a soft kiss on her head with a smile. Without a word he handed her the box and she flicked off the TV.

"What's this?" she questioned, meeting his eye with a coy smile.

"I...just wanted to make up for the whole no sex thing..." He shrugged not knowing how she would feel about his gift. She opened the box and smirked at him.

"Wow this is…. unexpected" she laughed, putting his nerves at ease as she stroked his chest lovingly. Her eyes quickly read the contents on the back of the garish pink box and she smiled at him.

"Why don't you and I try some of these things out after dinner?" Caitlyn said huskily reassuring him that he hadn't done something stupid.

"Oh that would be amazing..." he growled in her ear "you know I want to but... Tuesday is bowling night." Greg replied nervously hoping that she wouldn't get angry. He had been naïve in that hope though, of course she was angry.

"Of course it is..." Handing him back the box with a sigh "Sara's night"

She walked away from him with gritted teeth, throwing herself back onto the couch and holding a pillow against her body for comfort.

"You know Tuesday's are reserved for Sara" he protested, trying to argue his case and soothe her jealousy at the same time. "Cait... you can come. It'll be fun." He offered.

"And what? sit between the two of you while you make eyes at each other. No thanks." She flicked on the TV and began changing the channels again, refusing to meet his eye.

"It's not like that..." He assured her. "Sara's…"

"Sara's the woman you've been pining over for the best part of 12 years Greg; don't forget I was the one on the other end of the phone the whole time"

"Not anymore, Cait" he was beginning to regret telling her anything. All those conversations they had had where he would spill his deepest darkest secrets, where he would tell her exactly how it felt whenever Sara smiled at him or touched his arm suddenly played over in his mind. He may have told her about those times but he also told her about when he watched her get married, when he felt so much pride and joy at knowing she was happy. When he let her go because he knew she couldn't be completely his and when she came back to him as Mrs. Grissom and when he would go and sleep on her couch almost every night of the week because she didn't want to be alone. Caitlyn knew all those things, she had listened to him work through his complicated emotions and move on to a different kind of relationship entirely. Now she seemed to forget the friendship he shared with Sara and was only focusing on the times when he had confused that loyalty for love.

"Well then look me in the eye and tell me you don't think Sara's attractive. Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't have feelings for her." Caitlyn turned to him with a fierce expression.

"I...I" Greg stumbled over his words unsure what to make of her sudden attack. Her issues with Sara had never been hidden but they had never been vicious. It was entirely possible they were justified. He did have feelings for Sara, somewhere along the road the lines between friendship and love had been blurred and neither of them had ever stepped back to clarify the status of their relationship. There was no need for it, it had always worked well the way it was. Like the ultimate open relationship, they could have their fun, laugh and chat, drink and dance then go back to their significant others to play house.

"Are you sleeping with her?" She asked him bluntly. It felt like the wind had been knocked right out of him to hear her asking him that in such a forthright way.

"No, no, I wouldn't, I couldn't do that to you Cait." He pleaded with her to understand. He may not be able to deny he had feelings for Sara but he would never cheat on Caitlyn, he just wasn't that kind of person.

"I know you Greg, I know you better than anyone… how many girls have you dumped because they couldn't cope with Sara? How many of them knew they could never match up to her?"

He didn't have to answer, she already knew. That was the problem with Caitlyn, she knew everything. It made it a lot harder to explain the way his relationship with Sara had developed and evolved.

"Go Greg, you don't want to keep her waiting"

She refused to meet his eye, staring at Jerry Springer like it was Stephen Hawking's theory of everything. It was very obvious he wouldn't be resolving this tonight, he would be lucky if he could get her to speak to him at all.

His gesture had backfired spectacularly; he figured giving her some space to think it all through could only be a good thing. The truth was he needed the space as much as she did. So he nodded and slowly left the apartment. He knew Caitlyn as well as she claimed to know him and he knew she needed time to sort out the mess of emotions running through her head.

She glanced over her shoulder as he disappeared out of the door, the sobs she had been fighting through defiance finally breaking free from her eyes and overwhelming her. She had so much on her mind and instead of dealing with it all head on she was bottling it up and taking it out on Greg. He really couldn't be blamed for anything other than being clueless, she wanted to believe Greg wouldn't cheat on her yet doubt still followed her around. Every time he mentioned Sara's name she felt the knot in her stomach tighten, every time he discarded her in favor of Sara she felt like he was trampling all over her heart. It felt like she would never be good enough to hold his attention. She would never stop being second best. And he just didn't get it, she wondered if he ever would.

Eventually she composed herself enough to curl up on the couch with a bottle of wine, a tub of ice cream and 'dirty dancing' on TV. By the time she reached the bottom of her first bottle she had decided she was being unreasonable and she was tired of the silent treatment. He may be out with Sara now but she wanted him to come home to her. She wanted to feel his arms folding around her, she wanted to feel his body against hers, she wanted him to forget all about that stupid bet and make her scream his name. She _needed_ him to. So she picked up her phone that had been lying disregarded by her side and attempted to compose a message.

_"I'm sorry. I was wrong to get angry, please come home tonight. I miss you."_

She gave him an hour to respond. A whole hour, a bottle of wine and most of the way through 'he's just not that into you' and the only messages that graced her phone were from Nick.

He was, coincidentally, stuck at home alone too. His gentle reassuring messages made her smile, even when he was responding to questions about why men were so awful he was still charming. It didn't distract her from the lack of response from Greg though. Nick had offered her a long list of reasons why Greg might not have responded but she shook them all off. The wine and the movie increasing her contempt as she dialed his number.

"Greg's phone?" Sara answered and Caitlyn was suddenly speechless. A thousand questions ran through her mind each one of them falling silent on her lips. "Caitlyn? Are you there?"

She strained her ears, there should be noise. If they were at bowling she should have been able to hear the sounds of music and chatter. She should hear the ball as it clashed with the pins, she should hear the bowling teams cheering a strike and exchanging high fives. She heard nothing.

"Uh… I need to speak to Greg…please" she sounded meek, a submissive version of herself that she didn't recognize. She didn't like it very much at all.

"Uh hold on…" the phone shuffled and she could hear Sara taking steps and the sound of running water. Her heart stopped in her chest, all the air left the room as the low hum of Greg in the shower filtered through the phone. "He's in the shower. I'll get him to call you back?"

"You didn't go bowling?"

"Uh, no… Greg was kinda … upset. We got some wine and a couple of movies…" she could tell Sara was feeling uncomfortable, the tone of her voice was awkward and stilted "is everything ok Caitlyn?"

She faltered with her words, unable to express exactly what was running through her mind. She seemed to have lost the ability to form words, her breathing quickened and tears stung at her eyes. she should have hung up the phone, she should have cut off the conversation and saved herself anymore heartache but she kept on listening, not daring to breath too loudly as Sara waited for her response. Then she heard Greg's voice;

"You could have joined me in the shower Sara! I wouldn't have complained!"

"Uhh Greg…" Sara was fairly sure Caitlyn could hear, she was absolutely sure that she wouldn't like what she just heard.

"I won't tell if you won't!" he almost growled, his voice much clearer now he had closed the space between himself and Sara.

Sara took a sharp intake of breath as Caitlyn dropped her phone to the floor. The sheer force of his betrayal hit her like a ton of bricks; she could literally feel her heart breaking. The discarded phone echoed with the sound of his voice against the wooden floor. He was calling out to her, calling her name trying to tell her it wasn't how it sounded. Her tears fell heavily onto the floor as she heard him say he was coming home.

She didn't intend to be there when he did.


	11. Chapter 11

The weather had finally broken in Vegas as she wandered the streets in the storm. She didn't really know where she was going, all she knew was she couldn't face Greg right now. Not after everything that had happened in the past few hours. The rain was therapeutic; it washed away her tears and kept her from forgetting where she was; it kept her awake while she attempted to lose herself and all of those thoughts and fears that seemed to be consuming her. Without conscious thought she found herself standing at Nick's door, her hand seemed to knock of its own accord before she realized what she was doing.

Nick answered the door and took in the girl in front of him; the rain saturated her skin, her hair hung limply past her shoulders, clinging to the pale skin of her face, her eyes rimmed in red. It was obvious she had been crying, over what he didn't know but considering it had brought her to his door he guessed it was something to do with Greg. He had seen the tension build and break between them as their unspoken problems seemed to all be made physical by one woman.

He opened the door wide and stepped aside to let her in; she stood a few inches away from him, shuffling on her feet and chewing on a nail. She didn't know exactly what she intended on doing but she knew it was wrong. He closed the door slowly, turning back to her with a frown. For someone who had come to his door at 1am she looked incredibly nervous, she avoided his gaze, like she had no idea what to say.

"What's goin on Caitlyn?"

She looked at him and her breath trembled, without warning she took a step towards him and pressed her lips against his. He was so shocked he stumbled backwards and impacted heavily with the door. Her hands grasped his face as she pressed against him and without thinking he returned her kiss, his hands found her waist relishing the feeling of her body under his fingertips. Caitlyn hesitated slightly, pulling away to meet his eye and see the desire igniting the fire in his eyes. He closed the space again, this time fully involved in their kiss until a flicker of conscience snapped him back to reality.

"Caitlyn, what are you doing?" he asked pushing her away from him only for her to wrap her arms around him and caress his neck with her lips.

"I want you" she breathed into his ear, her breath tickling the tiny hairs of his neck and awakening his senses "I… I need you"

She knew that one day she would look back on those words and regret ever saying them but for now it didn't matter- for now all she knew were her needs, her wants, her deepest desires. Every single one of them was Nick. In that moment she wondered if that was how Greg felt when he was with Sara. If just looking at her drove him as wild as she felt now. Maybe his heart skipped a beat every time she looked at him; maybe every moment they spent together was a test of their resilience because every fiber of their bodies wanted to be together.

She drew her hand over his bare chest so gently it sent a shiver up his spine. Every thought of Greg escaped his mind when she pulled back a little and looked into his eyes. She wanted this as much as he did, the lust was written all over her face. It was evident in her darkened pupils and her trembling breath. He didn't need any more encouragement that that, he had longed to hold her in his arms, longed to take her to his bed since the day he met her.

He dipped his head and met her lips with renewed passion, a culmination of 6 months pent up frustration finally breaking free. He could taste the wine on her lips, the saltiness of her tears on her skin. There was a niggling doubt in the back of his mind telling him this was a bad idea but the feeling of her damp skin and the warmth of her sighs as they brushed past him quashed it all.

He wanted to make it all go away- he wanted her to feel better. With his hands brushing her body carefully he pulled her close to him.

She pushed him back against the door, pushed her whole body into his, willing him to touch her and he wanted to touch her more than anything. He wanted nothing more than to explore the very body that had been persistent on his mind. His breath quivered with the anticipation of her skin under his hands as he fought with the buttons on her blouse. He wanted to touch every part of her, he wanted to feel the blood coursing through her veins, and he wanted to make her moan and cling to him until she forgot where she was and melted into him.

He kissed her with a new urgency turning so that he had regained control; he pushed her backwards until her body collided with the table by the door, the lamp clattering to the floor. In an instant she slid onto it and twisted her legs around him, discarding the blouse as she went. She breathed deeply, the lace of her bra barely containing her breasts as he liberated them with one swift movement. He nibbled and sucked at the soft flesh, relishing the sound of her sighs as he did. She ground her hips against him, drawing her nails lightly across his back and making him groan. It was everything he had imagined and then some; he stroked his hands through her hair before tightening his grip and tilting her head so she was forced to meet his eye. Her breath drew in quickly, the pain a surprise to her. He was no mind reader but he could only see desire in her eyes, the flicker of excitement as she bit down on her bottom lip convincing him that his somewhat animalistic treatment of her was what she wanted. She wanted to be punished; she wanted to be manipulated and controlled.

So he roughly hoisted her skirt up around her waist, not that there was much to it. He had spent most of the day thinking about that skirt, about the way it rode up her thighs ever so slightly when she walked or the way it almost hugged her curves. A startled gasp escaped her lips and she met his eye with an uncertain yet encouraging expression. He devoured her lips, exploring and tasting her as much as he could while his hand slid the soft fabric of her panties aside. His fingertips danced around her, making her legs tremble and her breathing quicken. She clung to him tighter, her head rolling back against the wall as he quickly thrust two fingers inside her.

"Oh god, Nick…" she was begging him and he was enjoying it. So much that he slowed his movements, his thumb caressing a torturous rhythm over her as he buried his face in her neck. He could feel her muscles tightening, her neck vibrated against his lips as she moaned, a strangled cry escaping her lips as she came undone and he smirked at his small victory.

"I want to take you to bed" he purred in her ear, his arms wrapping around her as she nodded, unable to speak through her shuddering breath and he carried her to his bed. She had regained her composure by then, meeting his eye with a renewed passion as she pulled him closer to her, darting her tongue out to moisten his lips.

He took a moment to drink in the sight in front of him, a flush of anticipation and desire cast over her. Nick moved his body over her, his shorts discarded on the floor and he pushed into her. Caitlyn arched her spine, involuntarily moving her hips against him. She moaned, a deep throaty moan and he realized he had complete control. His hand snaked up her body from her waist all the way to her outstretched fingers. Lacing his fingers in hers he leaned down to growl in her ear.

"tell me what you want me to do…" as he drew back he could have sworn he saw uncertainty cloud her eyes but it was soon replaced, a sultry smile being his reward as she once again curled her long legs around his body and pulled him deeper into her.

"I want you to make me scream" she gasped. It had never been like this with Greg – the raw passion and desperation that fuelled their sex was incredible. It left her overwhelmed, breathless and completely powerless against it.

Her whispers wound around him and enveloped him like a fever. He felt invigorated and a need built up inside him as he looked into the fire in her eyes. He needed to make her surrender.

He uncurled his fingers from hers and grasped her wrist roughly, pinning it hard against the headboard as he thrust against her harder. She moaned in response, she moaned over and over again, a deeply arousing, sexual moan but it wasn't enough. He wanted more, his spare hand stroked the skin of her breasts and torso before tilting her hips upwards and driving into her once more, a moan escaping his own lips as the sensations began to overwhelm him.

Her muscles clamped around him, pulsing and trembling as she twisted her body under him. He loosened his grip on her wrist and she clutched his hand, the nails of her other hand digging into his shoulder as she screamed his name into the pillow. It was spectacular; he couldn't control himself after that. One more thrust and he surrendered himself.

Every iota of energy he had left his body in that moment and he couldn't pull her close enough, he couldn't tell her exactly how good it had felt to make love to her. That would probably scare her away; this hadn't been about love for her.

He wrapped her in his arms and held her close until their breathing returned to normal and the reality of the situation suddenly dawned on him. He had just done the unthinkable with his best friend's girl. His judgment had been clouded by the lust in her eyes and the taste of her skin. She settled in his arms, tilting her head to gaze up at him and although he wanted to feel guilty he realized he didn't regret a single moment. He would do it again. In a heartbeat he would do it again and again and again.

"You ok?" he whispered, his lips brushing hers lightly in the hope that he could kiss away the doubts and the guilt she was likely to be feeling. It occurred to him, perhaps a little too late that she wasn't going to throw away what she had with Greg for him. This wasn't the declaration of love and devotion he wanted, this was about sex. It was about fulfilling a need.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered her voice so meek and quiet he barely recognized it "I'm so sorry"

A lone tear snaked down her cheek, an acknowledgement that she already regretted what they had done. He could wrap his arms around her and hold her close, he could kiss away the tears and whisper reassurances into her hair but she would always have that guilt on her conscience.

The realization settled heavily in his gut, sadness settled over him as he held her closer and tried to hold onto the memory of her sleeping in his arms because he knew that when he woke in the morning she would be gone.

Xxx

He expected to come home to an empty apartment, he knew she would flee. She always did. She usually ran to him, or at least when the miles were between them she would call him. It's what Caitlyn did best, she ran. She ran from everything, that day they had gone to LA she had been running from her parents, he was sure that she had been running from something when she came to Vegas. Her defense mechanism whenever things got tough was to run. So it wasn't a surprise for him to be faced with the emptiness when he got home.

That didn't make it any easier.

He cast his eyes over her blanket bundled up on the sofa, the wine glass perched on the coffee table beside the remote. He could picture her there, curled up with a chick flick on the TV and the wine acting as her only companion. This could all have been prevented if he had just stayed home, Sara wouldn't even have minded, she would probably have actively encouraged it. He could have spent the night with her wrapped in his arms, pretending to enjoy whatever cheesy movie she decided to watch and none of this would be happening.

But it was happening, he could see the aftermath of her sorrow too. One of the wine bottles was discarded on the floor with its fluid steadily dripping into a puddle. She would never have left that there; she was a neat freak, the fact that it was abandoned there told him she had left in a hurry. Her jacket was still on the hook on the wall, her keys still placed in the bowl by the door as though she should still be here. But she wasn't. The house felt emptier than it ever had, mostly because he realized he didn't know if she would ever come back.

He wandered through the apartment hoping he would be struck by inspiration, that maybe he would have an epiphany and know exactly what to do to make it better. It dawned on him that there were signs of her everywhere, her slippers by the side of the bed, her toothbrush on the sink, her music box on the dresser with the tiny dancer inside.

He opened it with a sigh and listened to the music, it transported him right back to his senior year when he had given it to her. He had wanted to give her something special before he went off to college, something she could remember him by. The tiny dancer had reminded him of her; she used to dance all the time when they were kids.

He tried to call her again, the music box still serenading him. He was well aware she was ignoring him but he was worried about her. Without him she had no-one to turn to, when he was the one she was running from she was left with no-one to run to. It shouldn't have been that way with him; it should have been easy for them to forge a lasting relationship. In theory everything should have fallen into place so naturally. It should have been a beautiful romance, they were already everything to each other, and it shouldn't have been so hard.

Greg half-heartedly smoothed out the bed sheets, another reminder that she wasn't there. If she had been here they very well could have been wrapped in those sheets, their cocoon, their sanctuary from the harsh reality of life. Where they were only interested in each other and nothing else mattered.

His cell phone sprung to life and broke through his thoughts. The sound piercing through the empty apartment and making him jump, with trembling hands he answered without even checking the caller ID.

"Caitlyn?" he probably sounded a little too hopeful, a little desperate, a little scared she would be telling him it was over. A lot more scared then he even realized.

"No, it's… its Sara, Greg. She's not there?"

He wasn't disappointed to hear Sara's voice. She was worried about him, it was understandable. But for a split second he had believed it to be Caitlyn, for a moment he had thought that perhaps they could still talk it out. Sara, more than anyone else, knew what it was like to finally have everything you dreamed of handed to you only for it to disappoint, only for the dream to have been grossly over-estimated.

"She's not here… I don't know what to do"

There was a silence on the other end of the phone while Sara pondered his predicament.

"Stay put. I'll be right over." she declared.

The dead silence on the other end of the phone told him she was gone; she would be fetching her shoes and grabbing her keys and running to him. He had no idea where Caitlyn was, no idea how he could make it better but at least with Sara on his side he could maybe salvage something of the relationship. She could reach out to Caitlyn; explain things from her point of view. Women were good at that, discussing feeling and such like. A lot better than he could ever claim to be.

Within a short space of time she was at his door, the concern evident in her eyes. She felt as responsible as he did. Sara had always been good at seeing things from other people's points of view, sometimes to a fault.

"Did she come home yet?"

Greg shook his head as he let her in and she slipped the jacket off her shoulders, her eyes drew over the living room with the same sadness he had experienced.

"Let's get started then…" he genuinely had no idea what she was talking about and his expression must have made that clear as she laughed and started folding the blanket on the couch. She arched her eyebrow in his direction taking an exaggerated look around the room. "You really want her coming home to this?"

So they cleaned up the remnants of Caitlyn's evening in silence, there was not a trace of it by the time they sat down on the couch to wait for her. Early morning TV was extremely boring and Caitlyn was yet to reach out to him. No phone call, no text message, no over emotional reunion. As the hours slowly ticked by he found himself feeling less guilty and more annoyed at her. The fact she ran from everything slowly became a source of frustration, the least she could do was let him know where she was and that she was ok.

They had somehow ended up on the floor, some cards between them as they tried to while away the hours. It wasn't the usual easy, carefree boredom they often shared; there was a tension in the air. A tension that neither he nor Sara had brought into the conversation yet. Not that he had been moping, far from it in fact; he was laughing and joking with Sara as normal. At least he thought he had, by the look in her eyes his mask hadn't been as deceiving as he thought. Sara saw right through it, she was just trying to find the right words to talk to him about it.

"You know, I taught Cait to play this game" he began, keeping his eyes on the cards as he leaned back against the bottom of the couch. "She sucks at it"

"Well she didn't have the best teacher did she Greg?" Sara smiled, as she claimed victory in their latest game. She had won just about every hand since they had started, he would like to pretend it was because he had a lot on his mind but Sara had an insatiable competitive streak. A lot of the time she didn't even realize how determined she was to win. At everything.

"One day, Sidle, I will kick your ass at something"

"Well I don't think that's going to be any time soon." Sara laughed her eyes focused on the cards.

"I think you're right." Greg nodded in agreement his eyes willing her to look at him. He cherished his time with Sara almost as much as he cherished his time with Caitlyn. They both meant different things to him but he couldn't imagine his life void of either of them. Sara had been there, right by his side, for some of the most wonderful and awful moments of his life. Likewise, he had shared in Sara's heartaches and victories. He had held her hand and wiped away her tears and toasted a job well done. It was amazing to think how dependent they had become on each other, how their lives had inextricably become weaved together "It's strange don't you think..."

"What is?" She frowned at him her hands resting on her knees, her legs crossed- she looked comfortable- like there was no other place for her to be.

"Friendships..." Greg paused attempting to word exactly what he was trying to say. "I mean... there were people I promised I would never lose contact with... people that meant so much to me at the time... and now I can barely remember their last names."

"Time changes everything Greg; we're not the same people we were." Sara cleared her throat her eyes back on the cards. Everyone in her life had seemed to change recently; even her relationship with her husband was different. She had never imagined that anything would change the relationship she and Grissom had created but as time wore on things adapted at a pace she could barely keep up with. And every time he left she would come to the breathless realization that perhaps there was nothing more to do than try. Nothing more than believing in fate.

"We won't will we?" He seemed to be asking hopefully.

"I think we already have." Sara responded with a half-smile.

"I don't want to not be friends with you." Greg said quietly as his eyes turned back to the cards. This time it was Sara's turn to watch him carefully. He was contemplating his life without her, remembering all the memories they had shared and wondering if things would be the same if they hadn't happened.

"A double negative?" She raised an eyebrow knowing that the criticism would get him to look up. Their eyes met and their gaze lingered for a moment before Greg spoke.

"I can't imagine not having you around Sara." She detected something in his voice- weakness maybe, uncertainty perhaps. His disastrous relationship with Caitlyn was making him doubt every relationship in his life. Her hand reached out and gently stroked his outstretched arm. She wanted to reassure him, to tell him that Caitlyn would come home and everything would be fine again. She wanted to look into his eyes and promise him that what was going on in his relationship wouldn't have an effect on theirs but she couldn't promise him that. Caitlyn had created a wall between them whether Greg would acknowledge it or not but no matter what she knew she would always have Greg in her life. She would make sure of it.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: fao: csijenniferlynn – you may want to skip this chapter ;o) what can I say? DearSweetPapercut had her wicked way with me in this chapter – Sandle Ahoy! Lol**

**I did struggle with this chapter, it was written and re-written about a million times until I got the mood right, I am sure DearSweetPapercut was about to change her email address and leave the country so she didn't have to hear me going on about it and sending her countless re-writes to pass judgement on (thank you! x) I THINK I am finally happy with this version... or at least I stopped obsessing over it and moved on. I'd be really interested in your opinions :) **

**Charli xx**

* * *

Greg woke with a start pulling himself from his dreams a strange feeling settling over him as he returned to consciousness. He had dreamed of Sara, her body had been entangled in his; her voice had been calling his name. He had never been a creative dreamer; his dreams always had links to either what he had been doing right before bed or what he wanted to do.

This one was neither, or at least, he didn't think it was.

His eyes cast over Sara's sleeping form on the opposite end of the couch, sunlight dappled across her skin and her hair fell across her face. Seconds ago he had been picturing her wearing a whole lot less and doing a whole lot more than sleeping. It had been a long time since he had had a sex dream about Sara, especially one that intense. It awoke a curiosity in him as he watched her eyelashes flicker with her own dreams. He wondered if she was picturing the same things, the same bodies tangled together in a mess of limbs and sweat and passion.

He was beginning to question whether their 'platonic' dependence on each other was platonic at all, maybe Caitlyn was right and they were indulging in some kind of an emotional affair without even realizing it.

Sara shifted in her corner, her long legs uncurling slightly so that her feet were pressed against his leg and she whimpered a little under her breath. Greg was surprised to find his reaction so _physical_. It had just been a dream, it didn't mean anything. The warmth from her body seemed to spread over his skin like a rash, it coated him, engulfed him completely until he felt so constricted that he had to remove himself from the room altogether just to regain his composure.

This was ridiculous, their relationship had gone way past this a long time ago. He couldn't go back to being the teenage boy fighting off his natural reaction to the female form; he couldn't go there with Sara. The cold water he splashed onto his face did nothing to stop his imagination taking over, this was Caitlyn's fault. She had inadvertently pushed him into thinking about Sara in a romantic capacity; she had reminded him about all those buried feelings. He coached himself on control in the bathroom mirror and Sara casually stuck her head round the door with a soft smile.

"You want breakfast? I can do you toast or… toast?"

For some reason words just couldn't reach his lips, his throat seemed incredibly dry and he realized just how long it had been since he had looked at Sara this way. It had been a long time since he had noticed the flecks of gold in her eyes or the way the light glistened on the moisture of her lips. It had been a long time since he had drawn his eyes across her body from head to toe while his chest seemed to shrink around his lungs and his racing heart until his eyes landed on her wedding ring, glinting in the light as she gripped the doorframe and frowned at him.

"You ok?"

In that moment it all crashed away, like a house of cards crumbling to the ground, the cloud of lust he had been in lost. It evaporated and he internally shook off his feelings. He was in a difficult place emotionally and he was bound to be sexually frustrated too. Not to mention the fact that she was married, to a man he held in high esteem professionally and personally. He eyed Sara suspiciously, she seemed to be a little too perky, a little too in control for his liking.

"Just thinking… When's Grissom back in town?"

Sara narrowed her eyes at him and then simply turned away from the door and walked away. He knew that could only mean one thing, either Grissom was already in town or he was intending to be really soon. When Sara couldn't keep the smile off her face it was inevitably something to do with Grissom. But of course the same could be said for when she couldn't stop the tears forming in her eyes and she found herself at his door at 2 in the morning after an ill-fated Skype conversation and too many beers.

"You had sex!" he cried as he chased her into the kitchen.

Sara raised an eyebrow and granted him a suggestive smile.

"How about French toast, I could maybe cope with that" she fished in the cupboards, knowing her away around the room better than he did. She was avoiding the question but he cleared the space between them and leaned back on the counter, watching as she clumsily created the batter.

"You won't get off that easy Sidle, spill."

"There is nothing to… spill" that wasn't entirely true of course and Greg knew it. Grissom was coming home next weekend and while she was looking forward to spending an entire uninterrupted weekend with him that relied wholly on the fact that she was not telling anyone she worked with that he would be in town.

Too many times their romantic weekends had been interrupted by their workmates 'just popping round', too many plans had been shuffled or cancelled completely because someone in the department heard he was in town and kidnapped him to parade around in front of the newbies. She was proud of his professional achievements, she always had been but when it came to alone time she had had enough of sharing him. If no one knew he was here then no one could interrupt.

He could tell by the glint in her eye she was lying and enjoying it too. He could sense some gossip and he would not let it lie until he knew what she was hiding. Sara thought she was a good liar but he could always see right through it. She may be able to fool their other friends with her evasive answers but she would never fool him. She put two slices of bread soaked in batter in a frying pan and wiped the counter.

"I know you Sara; you either got some or are getting some. You owe it to me to spill!"

"Oh I owe you now?" she smirked as she twisted a towel in her hands fashioning a whip from the tightly wound fabric. This simply couldn't end well; he cast his eyes around the kitchen searching for a weapon. The only thing he could find was her batter encrusted whisk on the counter. In his desperation he grabbed the whisk and turned to face her. He didn't really think things through; the mixture flew from the whisk to her face as he looked on in shock. He really didn't mean it, his wrist had seemed to flinch involuntarily but her shocked expression and the spatters of yellow mixture slowly dripping down her face painted such a comical picture he just couldn't hold back the laugh growing inside him.

"You will pay for that Mr. Sanders"

And he had no doubt about that at all. Holding his hands up on surrender didn't have the desired effect, Sara stepped closer and turned the bowl over, most of the leftover mixture was quickly deposited all over his head. Greg playfully snatched the bowl from Sara's hands and she darted across the room to escape his retaliation.

It was a fruitless exercise though; Greg was the food fight master. He may not win but he would certainly go down fighting.

He caught up to Sara as she skirted around the couch like it was some kind of shield. Her nervous laughter filled the room as she locked eyes with him by way of underlining her defiance. He realized that she didn't think he would do it. She thought he would shy away from taking his revenge. She stopped moving and just stood there like she was daring him to go for it. But then Greg never shied away from a dare, he scooped his hand into the leftover mixture and quick as a flash jumped onto the couch to smear it in her hair and down the side of her face.

Sara launched herself over the back of the couch and wrestled him for the bowl, somehow ending up on top of him, pinning him down and placing the bowl on top of his head. He groaned in disgust as the sticky liquid wormed its way down his face to the sound of Sara's laughter.

Of course fate would dictate that at that very moment Caitlyn would walk through the door. Her pale complexion and red rimmed eyes were only accentuated by the dark circles under her eyes and the unruly mess of hair framing her face. Her trembling hands clutched the spare keys as she took in the sight in front of her. She looked broken, in every way imaginable; she looked like she had given up on everything.

He expected fireworks, she had caught them in a potentially intimate moment, she had walked in on them with their arms around each other, laughing, covered in food and he prepared himself for the onslaught. He waited for her to yell and scream or storm out but she didn't do any of those things. She didn't react at all, like she was detached from the whole situation, empty and accepting. It scared him; she was like a shadow of herself standing there in the doorway.

Caitlyn just froze, stood there watching, waiting for their inevitable excuses and apologies. She realized she didn't want them, if Greg uttered a single apology she would break down. The guilt would be too much and she was already struggling to control the torrent of tears stinging at her eyes. If anything finding him like this made it easier, it didn't justify her actions but it certainly made the lump in her throat easier to swallow. Greg was staring at her, analyzing her, judging her. She wondered if he could see the ghosts of her betrayal shadowing her eyes. Maybe he knew exactly what she had done, maybe he would know just by looking at her and she would lose him. It filled her with a sorrow she had never felt before, an all-encompassing heartache she didn't think she would ever be able to recover from.

Greg didn't deserve this; he didn't deserve to be waiting for her to come home all night while she was only thinking of herself and the man with his lips on her skin. It was almost like Nick's fingerprints burned her, she could see the path they had forged across her body, and she could feel their warmth. If Greg could see them too, if he knew the way Nick had made her feel, if he knew how he had made her moan he would never forgive her. She twisted her wrist around in her hand, sighing at the bruise ripening on her skin. The memory of Nick's hands on her wouldn't just be locked away in her mind it was showing on her skin too.

Greg took a few hasty steps towards her and she visibly flinched away from him, his eyes fell on the bruising around her wrist and he was immediately filled with a deep sorrow. She had been hurt, he couldn't assume how but with the horrific crimes he witnessed every day his imagination was running wild. If she had been hurt on the unforgiving streets of Las Vegas because of his stubborn stupidity and his uncontrollable mouth he would never forgive himself.

"You're hurt? What happened?"

Caitlyn faltered for a second, unintentionally folding her hand over the bruise as though she was hiding it. Her eyes darted between Greg and Sara with nervous desperation. She should confess, she could have told him everything and begged his forgiveness pledging to never set eyes on Nick Stokes again. She would have to, every time she laid eyes on him her inhibitions slipped away a little more. Every time she spent time with him she found it harder to say goodbye.

Had he been there on his own maybe she would have found the words and the courage to give him the truth he deserved. With Sara's eyes on her as well she felt a small amount of defensiveness, she felt the need to brush it off.

"It's nothing" she muttered, trying not to make it obvious that she was hiding it.

"That's not nothing Cait… what happened?" her brain ran through a hundred scenario's trying to find an explanation he would accept.

"I … fell down some steps in a bar; this guy grabbed me to help me back up. I guess he was rougher than I thought" she muttered, not meeting the eye of either of them.

Sara eyed her suspiciously, that story while plausible didn't match her demeanor. She was nervous, edgy, scared even. Sara knew that this wasn't the way a person who'd had a drunken stumble acted; she was acting like a person with something to hide. She'd had years of training to help her recognize when a person was lying and being evasive and Caitlyn had every one of the signs. Greg was cautiously moving towards her, taking her hand in his and examining the bruises. Caitlyn looked terrified, she stared at his face and her breath shuddered when he touched her.

The investigator in Sara was awakened; she moved from the couch to stand beside them and glance at the bruising, there was no mistaking it came from a person. The marks clearly took the shape of fingers but they were all wrong for a rescue attempt. The fingers folded over the top of her wrist instead of in line with her palm, a thumb mark clearly visible underneath her own. Someone had held her down.

She met Caitlyn's eye hoping that she could read the truth in the shadows. She knew what it felt like to have unwanted hands burn into your skin. She knew about the shame and humiliation. She recognized the fear.

Sara was about to ask her about it when suddenly the fire alarm sounded and all eyes swung to the stove where her attempt at French toast was making smoke signals with the ceiling. All of a sudden the apartment was a hive of activity as Sara and Greg fought to control the flames licking around the toast and to stop the sprinklers from destroying everything in the building.

Caitlyn disappeared into the bedroom and Sara exchanged a loaded look with Greg. He shrugged a shoulder as he ran the frying pan under the water in the sink and got assaulted by thick plumes of smoke that she attempted to wave out of the open window.

They had rescued the building but their breakfast was a wash out and neither of them really felt like eating anymore. Sara grabbed her coat and sent Greg a soft smile. He had so much on his mind and Caitlyn really looked like she needed him right now. The bruising played on her mind as they walked to the front door together. She wasn't sure he would have pieced it together on his own, he was just happy she had come back. Greg wrapped his arms around her to say goodbye and she took to opportunity to whisper in his ear.

"I think She's been assaulted Greg, look at the bruising patterns" Greg frowned as he met her eye, breaking free from her embrace as she opened the door. "You need to talk to her"

With a nod he closed the door behind her, her statement seemed to fill the room. It lingered in the air leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. He padded into the bedroom to find her seated on the edge of the bed, a bathrobe tightly wrapped around her and her sleeves pulled down over her hands. She played with the edges of the sleeves and stared at her feet, not daring to make eye contact with him. Greg reached out his hand and took her wrist, Sara was right. The bruising didn't match with her story any more than her behavior did. It was all slipping into place as he ran the scenario through in his mind.

"Cait…"

When she looked at him her eyes glistened with unshed tears, her lip quivered and her breath shuddered in her chest. Everything about the way she was acting told him something bad had happened and she was trying to hide it.

"I'm so sorry Greg …I…"

He had been cautious before; almost afraid that closing the space between them would be somehow inappropriate given the circumstances but not anymore. He moved across the room and wrapped her in his arms. Caitlyn crumbled into his embrace, the tears finally breaking free and expressing all her sorrow.

"What happened Cait? Talk to me please"

She simply shook her head, refusing to let the words come. She couldn't, there was no way to explain or justify her behavior. Nick did something to her; he looked at her a certain way and she found herself behaving in ways that normally she never would. He touched her and she quivered with anticipation. He kissed her and she melted into his arms. It was all wrong, they both knew it was but there didn't seem to be anything they could do to stop it.

"Talk to me." He was stern. It was a warning, almost an ultimatum on his part. He had stopped begging her to talk, he was now demanding it but words didn't come. Her mouth was suddenly very dry, the lump in her throat impossible to swallow.

Greg placed his hands on her shoulders and held her away from his body so that he could study her face and communicate the fact that she didn't have to be ashamed, that he would understand if she didn't want to talk.

"Nothing happened with me and Sara, Caitlyn. I swear to you" The sincerity in his eyes pierced her soul like a thousand needles. She believed him, the guilt she felt for bedding Nick was overwhelming. It would take an incredibly strong and deceptive person to carry the burden of an affair. She was already failing and she'd only succumbed to Nick once "I'm so sorry"

"Don't apologize to me Greg" she gasped the effort of pushing the words out almost proving too much "I… I don't deserve it"

She hadn't expected to feel this way when she saw him again; she hadn't expected her guilt to have such a physical effect. She felt nausea resting in her stomach, her heart raced every time she looked at him, the knot wound tightly in her abdomen twisted violently every time he spoke. Her entire body felt like it might shatter under the weight of it all. He took her hands in his, the soft fabric of the bathrobe snaking from her wrists as his thumbs caressed the skin. Such a familiar gesture, such a comforting gesture somehow tainted by the fact she was trying to hide her betrayal.

He turned her wrist around in his hands again, gently this time. He was examining the bruising with the careful eye of an investigator. She felt weak against him; she could have pulled her hand away and curled up in bed. She could have shrugged it off and told him not to worry about her but she let him scan the bruising carefully with his deep brown eyes. She let all the sorrow from her body slowly filter into his soul as he made his assumptions about it.

Greg was at a loss with what to do. It was hard to convey honesty and remorse when she wouldn't even look at him. She flinched under his touch as though it repulsed her and he was beginning to wonder if he had done too much damage this time. Maybe it was unrepairable, maybe he had pushed her too far and she had only come back to gather her things and wish him a fond farewell.

"Caitlyn, please look at me"

She forced herself to look into his eyes; there was a part of her that hoped he would see what she had done. That by looking into her eyes he would know and she'd never have to say the words but all he saw was her heartache and whatever he thought it was she was sure he didn't know it was the secret of her betrayal, she was sure he didn't know that mere hours ago she had been sleeping in someone else's arms.

She wanted him to be mad at her, to shout and scream and tell her what a miserable waste of space she was but as he wrapped her in his arms again she found herself sinking into his embrace and being thankful for it. They fit so comfortably together it seemed ridiculous of her to have ever thought about being anywhere else.

"You don't have to talk to me Cait, its ok. I understand" he whispered into her hair, soothing and reassuring her with his hushed tones and gentle grasp. Every fiber in his body wanted to wrap her up and take it all away. His protective instincts flared as she trembled against him, her lips muttering words he couldn't hear. His heart felt like it was being crushed in his chest when he thought about how upset she was, Caitlyn was his to protect. She always had been. Before her father died Greg had promised him he would look after her, he had sworn that no matter what he would make sure that she knew she could count on him. But he understood her need to keep this close to her chest; there were some things you couldn't discuss with the one you were with. "You should talk to someone though…."

She wasn't sure what he thought happened but it occurred to her that it was entirely possible that he would never find out. Nick had just as much invested in keeping it a secret as she did. The guilt seemed to slowly disintegrate, when she was with Greg she could think about just Greg. Nick didn't crop up in her mind's eye whenever she looked at him, she didn't hear his voice when he spoke, and she didn't taste his lips when Greg kissed her. If she let herself she could almost forget, she could let the guilt sink into her pores and become a part of her but it didn't have to consume her.

So when he cupped her chin and moved in for a kiss she let him think whatever he wanted to and returned the sentiment. The warmth of his kiss slowly washed over her entire body, cloaking her in its comforting glow. She knew that if things were going to work with Greg she was going to have to curb her jealousy and suppress her guilt. She needed to keep her emotions in check and stop pushing him away; Greg had even told her to stop being so untrusting with people many times. It was a struggle; trusting someone with your whole heart took a lot of faith.

If she was going to even try to make things work with Greg she had to do one thing; she had to stop seeing Nick. At all. They couldn't be trusted together it was as simple as that. When they were together she experienced something she had never felt in her entire life. She had been consumed by lust and passion and an unbridled need to be with someone but this was different, when she was with Nick every cell in her body responded to him.

Greg stroked his hand across her face, her tears clinging to his skin like morning dew on a blade of grass. Her eyes pressed together in an attempt to silence her overactive mind and cherish the moment. She had invested too much of her life in Greg to ruin it now. She could pretend everything was ok. She was good at turning on her fake smile and holding her head up high when she was really dying inside. Brushing things under the carpet was her specialty; she had been doing it her entire life.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Ok…. I am a little late with this update and it's a tiny bit shorter than the rest so I apologise… I promise when I update on Sunday it will be worth it! Charli x**

Greg groaned as his cell phone broke through his dreams and brought him back to reality. He was tangled in Caitlyn's arms; she had clung to him through the early hours of the morning through her tormented dreams like she had done all week. He silenced the irritating clatter of the phone with one hand and went back to settling in bed. She did look a lot better as the warm glow of the sunrise bathed her skin. The greyness had gone, pink pinched her cheeks and her smooth skin stretched out in front of him dabbled with spots of sunlight from the blinds. He still didn't know what had happened to her last week and she had made it clear she didn't want to talk about it. He wasn't about to push the matter he was just glad she was home and he could hold her in his arms and kiss her in the morning.

"Good morning" he whispered as she began to stir from her sleep. He was greeted with her dewy sleep filled eyes and a half awake smile as he leaned down to brush her lips with his own. There were simple things in life he often found himself being the most thankful for and this was one of them.

After a yawn and a stretch she traced her nails up and down his chest as she nestled in his arms. it always had the same effect on him, like a puppy dog being scratched under the ear, he practically melted under her touch. He squeezed her tighter, making gentle circles on the small of her back as she met his eye. The unspoken conversation between lovers, it was clear what she wanted, she had that glint in her eye. The one that always made his heart do somersaults. But his cell phone had other ideas, just as he dipped his head towards her it chimed to life again.

With a sigh and an eye roll he reached for the phone and answered with a grunt. Caitlyn in the meantime had stopped tracing lines with her nails and had moved on to following the invisible trail with her lips. She pulled her body over his, placed a knee on either side of his body and covered his neck with soft kisses that made him shiver while he tried to keep enough composure to keep talking on the phone. They were telling him something about a case but all he could focus on was the way her hair brushed his skin as she travelled down his chest, he could feel the moisture from her lips lingering and mingle with the air, she looked up and met his eye as she reached the edge of his boxers. A wicked smile crossed her features as she dipped her fingers along the waistband and he found himself completely incapable of even taking a breath in that moment.

She teased him as she slipped his boxers down to his knees and danced her fingers across his thighs. Her lips and tongue teased him, skirting along the top of his thighs and making him shiver in anticipation. Her hands were cold against his skin, her breath warm as it brushed over him and he felt all the blood drain from his body immediately. He simply couldn't take his eyes off her, the way she moved across his body so sensually enchanted him, the way she met his eyes had him pinned to the bed.

"Sanders! You still with me?" DB's voice shattered his bewilderment and brought him crashing back to the harsh reality.

"Yeah… I was… a little distracted. Say again?" this time Caitlyn's cell piped up too and she sighed and took the call, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and actually paying attention to what her boss was saying. He would admit to being disappointed in her, Caitlyn taking her responsibilities seriously was almost unheard of. They both signed off at the same time and turned to each other with that all too familiar 'I've got to go to work' expression. Greg slid across the bed until his body was pressed behind her and he snaked his arm around her waist pressing kisses along her collarbone gently.

"I think we need to take a rain check" he murmured into her ear, he knew of course that there was no telling when they would even see each other again.

With mischievous smiles they silently dressed and headed outside. Caitlyn was called into the lab, a case Sara was working on needed help with a boy and everyone else was out on visits or otherwise indisposed. Greg however was being sent across town to a spate of B&E's. 3 houses in one neighborhood, one after the other and he was flying solo. It was going to be a long shift.

Caitlyn swung her car into the parking lot and smiled over at Greg as he retrieved his kit from the trunk. She took a few seconds to compose herself in the mirror, it had been a week since she had seen Sara and there was every chance she would see Nick here too. It was risky, but it was work and like her boss had said, there was no-one else to do it. She watched Greg in the rearview mirror as he checked his kit carefully. He skirted around the back of the vehicle to open her door and kiss her slowly as a goodbye.

"I'll bring home Chinese" he offered as he handed her a yellow post-it note with a number scrawled on it. Her questioning frown wasn't completely a surprise to him "its Sara's number. She's a great listener you know"

He didn't wait around to hear her arguments; simply took off towards his department issue Denali with a smirk and a nod. Caitlyn stared at the yellow note pondering its significance as she sat in the car and Greg disappeared out of sight. She wound her wrist round in her hand; the marks had faded to a light yellow color but the memory was still fresh in both their minds. This bruise was proving to be a lot more trouble than she would have thought.

With a sigh she wandered into the lab. It was by no means the first time she had been there but nerves gripped her entire body as she retrieved her visitors pass and listened to the sound of her heels clicking on the sterile, empty floors.

Nick spotted her almost immediately. He was chatting to Sara outside the interrogation room, no-one was allowed to talk to the boy until a parent or child services worker was present and she appeared in the corridor with sunlight framing her sillohuette. Her eyes darted away from his and dropped to the floor. It amused him somewhat to see her cheeks flush with color under his gaze; the memories of their night together were still fresh in his mind. He could almost taste her skin from here.

Sara spotted the recognition and amusement in his eyes and turned to spot Caitlyn walking towards them. He suddenly hoped he hadn't made it too obvious what he was thinking about, surely Sara wasn't good enough to piece these clues together. He reminded himself to be more careful, the last thing he needed was for Sara to know what was going on, especailly when he was still hopeful for a replay.

"Hey, Caitlyn" Sara spoke with a nervous stilted voice. It struck him that there was a lot more going on in this particular scenario than he was privy to. "How's things?"

She wouldn't meet his eye at all, no matter how much he tried. She and Sara were having some kind of weird double meaning conversation about last week and he felt the need to remove himself from it before he said something he might regret. Instead he slipped into the observation room and watched the interview of the little boy.

He watched the interview like he was watching his next morsel. She didn't really do anything in there, her job was mostly to be present and supportive to the kid and eventually escort him to a group home. Yet he was still transfixed on her, every move she made reminded him in some way of their bedroom antics. The way she slipped her hair behind her ear and let her fingertips linger across the skin of her face made him long for her touch, the whispers of her fingertips were still present on his body. The way her teeth lightly pressed down on her bottom lip reminded him of how it felt when they pressed down on his, he licked his lips as he relived the memory. She would glance at the mirror every few seconds as though she could tell he was watching her, chances are his unfaltering stare was burning into her through the glass.

He was under no illusions about her, it was likely she was wracked with guilt and struggling to silence her conscience. It was obvious she didn't tell Greg, the fact they were still together was both comforting and painful to him. He really should be moving on but he had spent most of the night after she left analyzing the new direction their relationship was moving in and he was certain of one thing; he couldn't just let her go.

She took the little boy out of the room and he darted after her, he had to seize the opportunity to let her know where his ponderings had taken him. Chances are he wouldn't get another chance to speak to her, she was currently avoiding him like the plague. The problem was how to tell her this. He couldn't exactly come right out with it but he could imply his intentions in a roundabout way.

"Caitlyn! Wait up!" he jogged a little to catch up with her, the little boy eyeing him suspiciously as he held onto her hand. She finally met his eye, her cheeks flushing a deep shade of red.

"Nick… if this is about last week…"

"No, I uh… wondered if there was still a vacancy for a Tuesday buddy?" she looked at him like he had just spoken to her in Swahili "because it just so happens that I'm free that day… and you know, I don't have any plans"

She stopped in her tracks, hazarding a small glance at the little boy before taking a deep breath and pressing her eyes closed. He could tell she was trying to come up with a suitable argument to explain why it was a bad idea and truth be told he knew it was. He knew that making plans with her was a recipe for disaster, he knew that it would inevitably result in a replay of last night yet for some reason he couldn't help himself. As wrong as it was he needed more than he had had, he needed to take that chance. Even if he was only ever meant to hold her in his arms for a short time he would take what he could get.

"That's a bad idea Nick" she kept walking like she was trying to escape the situation but he followed her, falling into step beside her.

"It would only end one way…" she continued and he nodded in agreement; he was counting on it only ending one way. He couldn't keep the sly smile crossing his features as he followed her out to her car.

"I think it would be better if we just kept our distance from each other" again he nodded, she was right. It probably would be better if they stayed out of each other's way. avoidance was a particularly good tool in resolving sexual tension but then so was sex according to researchers and he had found that sleeping with her only increased the already potent levels of sexual tension between them.

"There would be less chance of confusion that way" she strapped the boy into the car with her back to him. The door formed a barrier between their bodies but it didn't stop his eyes following the curve of her body in front of him, it didn't stop him licking his lips absentmindedly as she stood up and turned to face him. There was barely any space between them; if the door hadn't been there she would have been touching him with her gentle hands. But she lowered the tone of her voice as she met his eye and took a sharp intake of breath. "Greg could find out…."

Without thinking about where he was or who could see he reached out and stroked her face, she almost nuzzled into his hand, closing her eyes and allowing her heavy breathing to take over. "I promise he won't find out"

With one last gentle caress of her cheek he turned and left her there, clasping the door of the car and staring after him with the same longing he felt. With a smile he called over his shoulder as he took the steps towards the building "I'll see you on Tuesday then!"

Xxxxx

Greg could feel her eyes on him as he moved around the room, it was Tuesday; Sara's day and they were heading out to catch a movie in some obscure theatre off strip. It had only been a week since their big fight and things had been good. Really good in fact but he was still struck by a moment of conscience as her eyes followed him.

"You want me to just stay home?" he moved to stand behind the couch where she was sitting and she threw her head back to look up at him. A part of him wanted her to agree, he wanted to stay home and watch movies with her. he wanted to bask in the glow of their reinvigorated relationship.

"Stop being weird Greg" she smiled throwing a cushion in his direction "go have your Tuesday"

Greg leaned down, almost bending in half to kiss her. Upside down kisses were so much sexier in Spiderman, it was just plain awkward but she twisted her hands around his shirt and scrambled to her knee's to kiss him properly. His hands slipped down her back to rest at the top of her thighs as he pressed his forehead to hers and she started fastening his buttons.

"you're supposed to unfasten them Cait" he smirked.

"well if it wasn't Tuesday then maybe I would be!"

"then maybe I should stay home…" he smiled, but she shook her head in protest. She had decided that if their relationship was going to survive she had to stop making it hard for him to spend time with Sara. She knew it was only a matter of time before he grew tired of defending himself to her and the truth was, even if he was cheating on her she couldn't claim to be any better.

"What do you do on Tuesday's anyway?" she queried, straightening out his shirt and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I can't tell you that!" he smiled, giving her a final kiss before he unwrapped himself from her arms and headed to the door "what happens on Tuesdays stays on Tuesdays Cait! That's the rule!"

He disappeared out of the door with a wink and she tapped her nails on the back of the couch restlessly. She was struck by instant boredom. One of the other rules of Tuesday was no texting; she knew that even if she pestered him all night she wouldn't get a single reply. TV was amazingly boring, a torrent of crime shows and depressing psychological thrillers were not her bag. She got enough of that at work and apparently Friday night was comedy night. she picked up her cell phone and scrolled to Nick's name, her fingers lingering over the buttons as she chewed her bottom lip and tapped her feet on the floor. She had a lot of nervous energy tonight, and a lot of time to kill. She threw the phone to the other side of the couch and stared at it, willing it to chime with a call or a text from someone, _anyone_, she would even _willingly_ go into work.

She flicked through the channels once more, hoping that maybe she had accidentally missed some hilarious never before seen on TV romantic comedy or ground breaking documentary but it was still void of anything interesting. Once more she glanced at the phone and almost jumped out of her skin when it chimed to life signaling a text message.

"_Just sitting on my own in Mario's, think my Tuesday buddy got lost – N"_

She couldn't help the smile that worked its way across her face but she held strong and didn't reply. It was a really bad idea, she told herself it would never happen again. She had promised herself and inadvertently Greg too, although he had no idea about it at all. She placed the phone on the coffee table and turned her attention back to the TV.

"_It's such a shame because this pizza is too big to eat all by myself – N x"_

Caitlyn sighed as she smiled into her phone. Her fingers once again hovering over the keys as she tried desperately to come up with a witty and platonic reply. It was taking an incredible amount of self-control to stop herself from replying.

"_Are you really going to make me eat it all by myself? – N x"_

She gazed around the far too quiet apartment, the boring TV and the untouched bed and decided there was really no reason not to join him for pizza. Tuesday's were a free day in this relationship, never to be spoken of or discussed. It was the perfect opportunity to indulge in some _friendly_ pizza eating with Nick.

"_give me 10mins"_ she pressed the send button and felt a strange sense of excitement wash over her as she headed into the bedroom to find something to wear. Grey sweat pants and Greg's huge college jersey just wouldn't cut it for Pizza but it was hardly time to whip out the sexy red dress. Still, there was nothing in the Tuesday rule book about dressing to impress, after all Greg had looked pretty sexy in his shirt before he left so she settled on her best pair of tight jeans and a rather sexy gold top and heels. After all, it was just pizza. What's the worst that could happen?

Xxxxx

The movie was a wash out, for a horror film it was genuinely laughable which is why less than halfway through Greg and Sara found themselves back out on the streets of Las Vegas under the neon lights. Sara slipped her phone out of her pocket and smiled at whatever was on it, quickly dialing a number and raising it to her ear.

"Hey, no phone's allowed on Tuesday's Sara!"

With a sultry smirk she moved away from him "just this once, its Grissom."

He slipped his phone out of his own pocket knowing full well there would be nothing waiting for him. He made it very clear that Tuesday was Sara's night and was out of bounds for any girlfriends, even Caitlyn. So he loitered around the door of the movie theatre trying to look casual until she returned with a solemn expression.

"Hey, I think I'll just head home Greg. I'm not really feeling very… Tuesday-y anymore"

It was pretty obvious Grissom had given her bad news. Most likely he had let her down again in favor of some work emergency. He knew how much she had been looking forward to his visit, even if she had made a point of not mentioning it to anyone he had seen the sparkle of anticipation return to her eyes and now Grissom had taken it away.

"No way, you and I are going to hit the bar!" he pulled her to the side of the road and flagged down a cab, bundling her inside and giving his instructions before she could protest. "He is not ruining your Tuesday as well as your weekend!" he slipped out of the cab and held out his hand for her, pulling her to a standing position in front of him and catching her eye "besides, it's Easter weekend next week. It just wouldn't have been the same without my drinking buddy"

Grissom didn't approve of Sara drinking too much, a throwback to a stupid mistake she had made years ago that he couldn't seem to let go of. She knew he was just being protective of her, it was his way of making sure she looked after herself because he cared about her but at the same time when he wasn't around she felt obliged to let her hair down once in a while and have a proper blow out. It inevitably resulted in her drunk dialing him to declare her love at 2 in the morning or more likely in this case berating him for letting her down again.

Sara gave Greg a grateful smile but it was a few glasses of wine before she really let herself go. She could feel her inhibitions slowly melting away as the liquid worked its way through her body and the music pulsed through her veins. By the time night closed in around Vegas they had hit the shots and they hit them hard. And while her head was screaming at her to calm down and take a moment to think her actions through her heart needed to blow away the cobwebs and be free. So she picked up yet another rainbow colored shot and toasted the barman as she kissed goodbye to her dignity and her conscious thought. She could pick them up in the morning; right now she needed to lose all control.


	14. Chapter 14

Caitlyn almost took his breath away as she walked nervously through the door of Mario's and scanned the tables. He knew that he could get her here; she could pretend that she wanted space but he knew different. She smirked as she spotted him, smoothed out her top and strode over, slipping into the seat across from him.

"I thought you had pizza?" she teased, eyeing the lonely soda gracing the table.

"Maybe I got bored and ate it all myself?" he smiled passing her a menu and asking the waitress for two fresh drinks.

"Maybe you were just using pizza as a lure" she snatched a breadstick from the basket on the table and raised an eyebrow in his direction. He didn't pretend not to notice the glint in her eye or the way she leaned onto the table ever so slightly so that his eyes were drawn to the neckline of her top and the way the tiny necklace dropped across the soft skin.

"I'm hurt Caitlyn I really am" he feigned offense, holding a hand to his chest and garnering himself a laugh from her mouth. "And anyway… I was the lure. The pizza was a bonus"

"Hmmm now I'm not sure about that Nicky; some of these pizzas sure sound delicious"

He quickly snatched the menu from her hands and shook his head at her teasing. "I say we go for the 'everything challenge'"

"I say you've been watching too much man vs. food. There's no way you can eat all that!"

It was with a defiant smile he ordered the challenge. A 24" pizza topped with, well, everything, including a side of fries and onion rings and a 45 minute time limit for the challenge to get the whole thing for free. It could almost be considered suicide.

When the waitress brought it over the ensemble took up the entire table and all eyes were on them. Not the best idea for their little inconspicuous date. While Nick tore into the pizza intending to rise to the challenge Caitlyn decided she would counter his little act of bravado by casually nibbling on an onion ring and being no help at all whatsoever. She sat back against the booth and watched with a smile until he looked up and raised his eyebrows.

"You're not going to help at all?"

"You know I recently started this new onion ring diet..." she smirked.

He tossed a massive slice of pizza in her direction with an eye roll.

"Eat. I'll make it worth your while!" she toyed with the slice in her hands, eyeing him suspiciously before taking a bite "that's more like it!"

"I hope my rewards will be ample Nick… and not food based" she smiled picking an anchovy off the pizza and throwing it on the plate in disgust.

"so, ice cream won't cut it?" she shook her head and locked eyes with him, her hair falling over her face and a small smile making itself known across her lips. He reached across the table and took her hand in his, stroking his thumb gently over the top. She drew breath but she didn't pull away, the expression in her eyes softened slightly as neither of them broke the eye contact. The flash of a camera broke the trance; it was customary for challenge entrants to have their picture on the wall. Either on the loser's side or the winner's side. It came as no surprise that the losing side was decidedly larger than the winning one.

They didn't even make it halfway through the pile of food when the time ran out; the staff ceremoniously stuck the photograph onto the wall and moved on to ridiculing the next challenge entrant. Nick eventually admitted defeat, throwing his napkin onto the pizza plate and waving the waitress over for the bill.

"You want to go for a walk?" he asked throwing some cash onto the plate and slipping his jacket over his shoulders. He held the door open and steered her outside into the humid air of night time in the city. The sound of the night time revelers was beginning to filter through the air signaling the start of the partying hours.

"I don't know if we should…"

She hesitated, glancing around the street for inspiration that would tell her what to do. Nick recognized that uncertainty, it was almost as though he could read her thoughts. She was worried that they wouldn't be able to suppress the undeniable attraction between them when they were away from the scrutiny of a restaurant.

Caitlyn's cell piped up and she slipped it out of her pocket with a frown, Greg's name was highlighted. It was certainly unusual to hear from him on Tuesday, he had broken his own cardinal rule; no phones.

"_Having an awesome time –Don't wait up!"_

With a sigh she switched off the phone and ran her hand through her hair. Nick was waiting patiently for her decision, watching her with that look that made her shiver. She bit down on her lip, trying desperately to solve the conflict between her heart and her head. In the end she reminded herself that Sara and Greg were having a great time, they were making the most of their sin free Tuesday and maybe she should do the same; so she slipped her hand into his and stroked his arm with a smile.

"Where are we walking to then?" she smiled as she let her head rest on his shoulder. His senses were suddenly assaulted by her. the feeling of her touch, the scent of her hair, the way her top sagged slightly so that from his viewpoint he was granted a small preview, he could imagine how her skin would taste free from the wine and the sorrow.

"I know a place" he grinned, steering her across the road and into a small park. It was so quiet there, the silence seemed to linger around them and push them closer together as though they were seeking solace in each other from the darkness. Suddenly Caitlyn stopped dead and squeezed his hand, he turned quickly and found himself standing toe to toe, gazing into her eyes. The moonlight shone in her eyes and cast shadows across her face.

"Nick… I"

He couldn't help himself; he cut her off with a kiss. The taste of her lips and the feeling of her body relaxing into his arms was intense; he could barely take a breath.

"Come home with me?" he whispered into her ear as he gently stroked her face. "Just once more"

Hesitation flashed in her eyes for a second and he thought she was going to say no. her hands rested on his shoulders, carefully drawing down his chest as they stood there bathed in the light of the moon. With a single look she conveyed her entire answer; her fingers expertly wound around his buttons and opened his shirt with a smile.

When she pulled him closer for a kiss he wound his fingers in her hair and pushed against her, she stumbled backwards until she collided with the trunk of a tree. His hands slid up the inside of her top. He loved the feeling of her silky skin under his touch, he loved how he could make Goosebumps appear along her spine as he traced a path up to her shoulders and then slowly back down again. The sigh escaping her mouth made him shudder with anticipation and he pressed against her with a little more haste and passion, he met her lips with a hunger and a sudden desperation.

"Nick..." she pushed him away and he wondered if she had second thoughts but she still had the fire in her eyes. "Not here, let's go"

Nick's apartment was on the other side of the park; he weaved across paths and in and out of trees as he pulled her behind him. When he got to his door he turned to her suddenly feeling nervous, this wasn't like last time. It wasn't a spur of the moment decision, it wasn't a case of passion and alcohol and misjudgment taking over. This was a conscious decision on both their parts. It was a whole different ball game.

"Are you sure about this?" he questioned, his keys dangling in the lock. She responded with a sultry smile and swallowing nervously she drew her hands across his chest and pulled him in for a kiss. He parted her lips and explored her mouth, stroking his hands along her spine again. His mouth followed her jaw to find the sensitive skin of her neck, he could make her tremble by dancing his mouth there and he took full advantage of that as he fumbled with the lock.

They stumbled back into the apartment without breaking contact, a sense of dejavu cast over him as the lamp clattered to the floor again when they breezed past. He pulled her with him as he fell back onto the couch, her legs immediately wrapping around him as he pulled at her top. The gold fabric peeled off her skin revealing an incredibly erotic red lace bra. He almost growled at the sight of it, her hands fumbling with his belt as he carefully pressed his tongue against the fabric.

Her body reacted immediately, her spine twisting and her hips bucking against him so that he hummed against her skin. His jeans found the floor and she stood above him to unbutton her own, the red lace of her panties peeking out and teasing him. His hands clenched in an attempt to maintain control, but it was futile and he grabbed her ass and pulled her to him. Pulling her jeans away letting them drop to the floor he traced kisses along the edge of her panties and slipped his fingers inside the fabric. She shifted on her feet and ran her fingers through his hair as he looked up and met her eye. He stroked his fingers over her as gently as he could bear, enjoying the fact that her eyes pressed closed, she bit her lip and her legs started to shake. A deep gasp escaped her mouth as he dipped his fingers inside, but he was teasing, her eyes whipped open again as he quickly withdrew and grinned up at her.

"Oh that's not fair" she hummed as she leaned down to take his lips to hers once more.

"What would you prefer?"

She threw herself against him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him hungrily until he was pressed against the back of the couch with her legs on either side of him. He moved her hips with his hands making her gyrate against him until he was sure he was about to explode. In one swift movement he had regained control, his strong hands twisted her onto the couch and he was free.

she kneeled on the edge of the couch and he took up position behind her, his hand running the length of her body before tracing the path all the way back up again.

He leaned down to whisper in her hair as he entered her but the words didn't come as she gifted him a long low moan that made him quiver. His hand explored her body as he moved back and forth creating a rhythm that made her grasp the back of the couch in desperation. She arched her back and pushed against the fabric, her moans becoming increasingly uncontrollable.

He could feel the tension knotting in his stomach and wash all over his body as her muscles clenched around him. He wrapped his arm across her body and grasped her opposite shoulder as he took his final thrusts and groaned into her neck.

Her entire body trembled and she collapsed onto the couch, her hair clinging to her skin and her breaths making her chest move up and down. He lowered himself onto the couch and wrapped her in his arms, pressing a small kiss on her forehead. He couldn't help but breathe in the scent of her hair and pull her a little closer to him. Somewhere deep down he knew he hoped that she would stay here in his arms, he hoped they could fall asleep together and share a breakfast in the morning sunlight, he knew of course that wouldn't happen. He knew she would go home to Greg.

"Thank you" she whispered into his ear as she twisted around in his arms to look up at him.

"What you thanking me for!" the idea seemed ridiculous, like he had performed a service. It made him feel more used than the sex had.

"For everything, I…I really …like… our little _dates_"

Like. Such a non-committal word, such a flat word to describe something so passionate, it felt hollow as it hit his ears and swam around his brain. Not that he had expected her to love their dates or associate any kind of strong emotion to him, it was clear what these dates were about and love had nothing to do with it. On her part at least.

"Me too" he sighed.

She was already wriggling out of his arms and gathering her clothes, already feeling the haste to leave his side and return to the man she did love. At the time it had seemed like a brilliant idea, he thought he could easily detach himself from her. He thought that their Tuesdays could be a bit of fun, a pizza, a movie, a couple of drinks.

Like Greg and Sara they could enjoy each other's company without falling into bed together. He had been all wrong and he knew it would happen again. Next Tuesday they would smile and pretend it was just a friendly thing, they would go on their date and put on the façade but he knew they would inevitably end up in the same place. He would be watching her dress as she stole embarrassed glances at him and then he would watch her leave with the overwhelming sense of emptiness he now felt.

He walked her to the door somewhat grudgingly, she could feel it too. The atmosphere settled between them heavily all the unspoken regrets and longing's weighing heavily on their conscience.

"Same time next week?" he offered hopefully, both in an effort to break the tension and in an attempt to clarify his position in this particular scenario. She looked into his eyes as though she was pleading with him, asking him to understand how it felt.

"Nicky… I... I'm" he silenced her with a kiss for the second time that night as they stood at his door, she was about to disappear into the night, to sleep in another man's arms and probably not bear him a second thought and yet he felt an overwhelming need to reassure and comfort her.

"Same time next week Cait" he whispered as he pressed the door closed, he would take what he could get.

Xxx

Greg was struggling to get Sara to focus on anything for more than a few seconds. At first he had found it incredibly funny, he could literally make her do anything when she was like this and for a control freak like Sara that was saying something. He took advantage of her new impressionable mood for a while but as she sank deeper into drunkenness he got more and more sober.

He had already held her back from 3 poor unsuspecting women who had apparently looked at her funny, he had mopped up her tears over her husband and the fact that she felt old and he had listened to her declare her love for him _and_ Nick _and_ the barman and _even_ Hodges. She had gone through a rainbow of emotions tonight and he felt exhausted going through it with her.

Now he was making a futile attempt at walking her home. Every time he took a few steps she would stop to give him another piece of her mind. Whether it was the piece was about world peace or the working hours in the lab or the amount of bugs in Peru he could never begin to predict but it certainly made the 3 block journey stretch on forever.

"I'm gonna phone my husband Greg" she slurred, fishing in her purse and somehow making it look like Mary Poppins' hat bag.

"No! that is a bad idea!" she waved the phone at him with a defiant smile and he snatched it out of her hands, returning the gesture but making a lot better progress than she did. She followed him as he waved the phone in front of her like carrot on a string and he suddenly found it hilariously funny. The shoe was on the other foot when he stumbled over a huge boulder and almost somersaulted onto the ground. Now it was Sara's turn to laugh, she tried to kick her discarded phone out of his reach but only succeeded in stumbling herself and landing squarely in Greg's lap.

"Aww you always catch me when I fall Greg" she smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder. He tried to stand with her there but it failed miserably and in the end he had to worm his way out of her grasp and reach out his hand to help her up.

Apparently drunken Sara was now feeling frisky, as he pulled her to a standing position she wrapped her arm around his neck again and he had to turn his head so that she kissed his cheek. This was a bad situation, turning Sara down was bound to impact her already unstable mood and pursuing something with her, no matter how much his conscious and unconscious mind wanted him to, was wrong.

His mind was racing as he tried to come up with a solution, it may only be three blocks but the cab coming towards them was like a beacon of light and he flagged it down breathing a sigh of relief. He bundled Sara into the cab and the rest of the journey was relatively pain free, Sara pressed her head against the window and watched as the bright lights disappeared and gave way to streetlamps and well groomed lawns. A strange feeling of foreboding made itself known in her stomach as they pulled up outside her condo. The thought of facing another night staring at those same vacant walls, flicking through those same boring channels, waiting on that same apologetic phone call almost brought tears to her eyes. This had once been a home filled with so much love and laughter and somewhere along the way it had turned into a huge reminder of how lonely she was, of how empty it was.

She turned to look at Greg with tears straining her eyes. He didn't know how much their Tuesdays meant to her, it was the one day of the week that didn't remind her she was alone. The one thing she could count on was that she could go out with Greg and do anything and they would have fun, he would make her laugh, he would make her _forget_. But he always left her on her own at the end of the day; he always went home to Caitlyn.

Even thinking of her name left a bitter taste in her mouth, when she was sober she actually felt sorry for the girl but a cocktail of shots and wine and too many beers and she found herself contemplating jealousy. If it wasn't for Caitlyn he would probably spend the night with her, on the couch of course, but nonetheless she wouldn't be alone. If it wasn't for Caitlyn chances are their meetings wouldn't be restricted to Tuesday's, she would feel comfortable popping round unannounced with a 6 pack and a DVD. She wouldn't think twice about calling him at 2am just to find out what he was up to and Greg wouldn't have to think about these things either. There had been a change in him lately, especially in the past week; he wasn't so hands on anymore. He didn't casually swing his arm around her shoulders anymore or text her incessantly at all hours of the day. He didn't seek out her company like he used to. Caitlyn had changed a lot between them and drunk Sara didn't like it one bit.

"Where are your keys?" Greg questioned as they strode towards her door. She had been so lost in her train of thought she didn't remember leaving the cab or walking the short distance across the slightly less than Stepford wives standards lawn. She could just picture Grissom examining it with distaste if he ever did make it home.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she grinned and stroked his face in what she hoped was a playful, friendly gesture but it really emerged as a clumsy almost slap while she struggled to stand upright without swaying.

"Well yeah, how else are you supposed to get home?" he snatched her purse from her hands and fished inside looking for her keys, emerging victorious and dangling them in front of her.

With a flourish she whipped the keys from him and concentrated all her energy on trying to get them into the tiny and possibly mobile lock, much to Greg's amusement it avoided her and he placed his hands on her waist to shift her out of the way. She stood up quickly, shocked by the sudden bodily contact and everything seemed to still.

It was like all the air had been sucked out of the world as they stood there locked in their eye contact. She didn't hesitate when she put her hands on his face but as she moved her lips to his she could feel the swarm of butterflies in her stomach turn into frenzy. The part of her mind that was slipping out of drunkenness was telling her how wrong it was to be kissing him, the only problem with that was how right it felt. When she was kissing Greg she found herself thinking about the fact that it felt natural and comfortable, it felt like it was destined to happen.

That alone shocked her more than kissing him did. That feeling planted a seed in her consciousness that she knew would be difficult to shake off. It could only grow and flourish and cause her problems she wasn't ready for. Neither of them were.

She had never even contemplated cheating on her husband before, the mere suggestion would have made her sick to her stomach but right now only one thought was occupying the space in her brain and it just so happened to be kissing Greg.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: My Microsoft Word is playing up so I apologise for the slight delay - I HOPE that I can still update on Friday but if I don't then Y'all know why. Thanks for all the reviews - this is the first story I have pre-written and its very interesting getting your insights into where you think its going (in fact its even made me think about changing some parts!)  
****Review quote of the Chapter goes to Mma63 - ****She's looking for excuses ****but should be looking for answers. - Amen to that my dear! So here you have it ch15, I'm excited about the next one :)  
thanks for reading!**

**Charli x**

Greg had never seen that look in her eyes before; the depth of her emotions was becoming evident as she minimized the space between them. He knew he should move, he should make a joke to break the tension or pretend he hadn't noticed but for some reason he just couldn't do it. He was entranced, her hands felt cold against his flushed cheeks. Sara always had cold hands, it could be 90 degrees outside and her hands would still feel like they had spent all weekend in the morgue. He involuntarily licked his lips, instantly cursing himself for giving in to the anticipation of the moment.

Her lips were dancing on his before he had time to process anything; it was like having an out of body experience. He was watching it all play out in front of him but he had no control over his body, he couldn't do anything to stop it and he wasn't even sure he wanted to.

So many of his heady fantasies had revolved around this woman, so many times he had imagined what it would be like to kiss her, how her scent would envelop him and how her lips would taste and every single one of those fantasies somehow fell flat in comparison to the reality. It was everything he had imagined and more.

But he could feel her weight in his arms and he could taste the alcohol tainting her lips. When he pushed her away he saw pleading in her eyes, a desperation that wasn't filled with love or lust it was loaded with fear. She was afraid of being alone. The guilt settled in his gut like a lead weight, he had never noticed it before. He hadn't spotted the clues because he had been so wrapped up in his own series of non-drama's; he hadn't been there for her like he should have.

She noticed the shift in his mood; the tears she had been gallantly fighting broke free in cascades as she crumbled into his arms.

Maybe plying her with alcohol hadn't been such a good idea after all. She sobbed against his shoulder as he twisted the keys in the lock and shuffled them both into the dark apartment. It was surprisingly cold inside, given the temperatures they had been experiencing the condo really shouldn't have been biting at his skin. The air conditioning unit purred in the corner and he wondered briefly why she felt the need to be cold all the time but he figured it had something to do with the sudden influx of plant life in her home or maybe she just liked it when goose bumps crossed her skin.

He moved her across to the couch with some gentle persuasion, she had opened the floodgates and nothing could hold back the heaving sobs somehow escaping from her throat. She clung to him, like if she let go she might crumble to the floor but he didn't protest he just stroked her hair and sat with her on the couch until her breathing evened out and her body relaxed. She fell asleep in his arms; soothed by the fact that he was there and he made a silent promise to her that he would make sure she never felt that way again. He wasn't sure what it was that made this latest let down by Grissom hurt her so much but he would do everything he could to take her mind of it.

He slipped a pillow under her head and pulled the soft blanket, usually reserved for him, over her shoulders before he slipped out of the house and headed home. No doubt she would be suffering in the morning, no doubt she wouldn't remember very much past the first bar they had been to but he could still taste her lips on his and he thirsted for more.

He trudged home in a haze of emotions. He wasn't very sure what he was feeling anymore, it was as though his heart was tearing in two and pulling him in opposite directions. He was beginning to realize that Caitlyn may be justified in her concerns about his relationship with Sara. She had obviously spotted something between them that they didn't even realize was brewing and now it had come to the surface he wasn't sure he could deny it to her anymore. He couldn't lie to Caitlyn, he never could she always saw right through him.

He took a deep breath as he looked up at the apartment cloaked in darkness. He pictured her asleep in the bed, curled into a corner with her hair spread out over the pillow. He could picture the way her breath came out in tiny gasps and her eyelashes fluttered in her dreams, he could picture the warmth of her body beside him and the way she would shift over to snuggle against him when he slipped into bed.

"Ooo this looks ominous. We scared to go home already?" Caitlyn's voice hovered in the darkness sounding so out of place on the street he thought that maybe it was a hallucination, a figment of his imagination as he conjured up images of her in his mind.

He hadn't even heard her cab pull up beside him as he stood there staring up at the windows fighting the overwhelming sadness gripping his soul. He turned on his heel to face her and was hit by a sudden influx of new emotions. She looked incredible smiling at him, the soft curl in her hair and the sparkle in her eyes tugging at his heart.

"I uh… was just thinking… about you" her expression softened as she wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on her toes to kiss him. For such a familiar gesture it sent his conscience into turmoil, holding her in his arms made him realize just how much he cared for her. "Where have you been?"

"Hey, you have your Tuesday buddy and I have mine" she smiled, flicking the end of his nose with her finger and walking towards the building. He watched her retreating form with a racing heart, drawing a hand over his face he let out a deep breath as she turned to look at him again. "You going to stand out here all night? I need a shower – could use someone to wash my back….."

He followed her inside with a smile. Sara was a married woman after all; if she remembered it at all she would no doubt regret it. One little kiss didn't mean anything, even if it was an earth shattering, leg shaking kiss it was still just a kiss and it would probably never happen again. For now he had a beautiful woman with really tight jeans walking in front of him enticing him home, a woman he was fairly sure he was in love with.

His eyes followed her body, from the gold heels all the way up her long legs. The way her hair swished across her back and she smirked at him with those come to bed eyes. He reached out to remove a leaf from her hair with a frown.

"How'd you get that in your hair?" he asked waving it in front of her. A moment of hesitation crossed her eyes before she kissed him and took his hand, pulling him behind her into the apartment. The only way she could get away with this was to distract him and she knew of only one way to successfully distract Greg Sanders for a sufficient amount of time.

"What happens on Tuesday stays on Tuesday right?"

"Well technically its Wednesday now" he offered, holding up his watch and tapping the dial. She simply pulled him closer, drew her nails lightly over the back of his neck and whispered in his ear.

"Then you're all mine"

Xxxx

Nick focused on the newspaper in front of him and tried to ignore Greg's very obviously irate state of mind. He had stomped into the break room and threw open cupboards and clattered mugs and generally been as noisy as he possibly could. Nick could feel a knot of guilt build in his stomach, maybe he had found out about him and Caitlyn. Maybe that was the reason for his mood.

He sighed as he closed the paper and slid it onto the table to watch Greg hitting the side of the coffee machine to make it go faster.

"Yeah, hitting stuff always works for me too" he figured opening the lines of communication would be a good start. He could then gauge whether he had any reason to be apologizing and requesting a transfer to a lab at least a 6hour flight from Vegas.

"Have you heard from Sara? Like, at all?" he slid a mug of coffee across the table and Nick cradled it in his hands watching his friend flop into the chair across from him.

"You guys have fallen out?" Greg hadn't even bothered to brew his special coffee, this had to be bad. Greg was a coffee snob most of the time, if he was drinking lab issued sludge without wincing then he had a whole lot on his mind.

"Not exactly. She's not answering her phone" he stared into his coffee as Nick slid his phone from his pocket and dialed Sara's number. It went straight to voicemail, the same thing it did whenever Greg called her for the past 3 days. This wasn't all that unusual though, Sara had worked for the lab for enough years to know that if you wanted to actually keep your days off you had to be unreachable. "What you reading?"

He gestured to the newspaper under Nick's hands. The front page story a celebrity caught cheating on his 'loyal' spouse. He had glanced over the story but didn't delve into the details; he couldn't really care any less about celebrities and their drama's. He had his own problems. He slid the paper over to Greg and leaned back to nurse his coffee.

Greg was apparently extremely interested in the story; he read every word with great concentration before lowering the paper and studying Nick for a moment.

"what do you think about this?" Greg asked, his eyes fixed on the photograph's illustrating the affair.

"its nothing to do with me, everyone makes their own decisions. I don't know why people take so much interest in other people's lives when they have plenty of their own problems"

"You ever cheated on a girlfriend?" Greg muttered, not entirely sure what he wanted to hear from Nick but feeling the need to discuss it with someone anyway.

For a second Nick felt like the bottom had fallen out of the room, his head spun as he tried to come up with a suitable excuse for his behavior. He realized that there was none, there was no justification, no solid reason why he should be taking Greg's girl into his bed. Greg tapped the newspaper impatiently and it dawned on him that they were talking about the story. The lump in his throat became a little easier to swallow.

"Yeah when I was younger I have. Its… it can get very complicated"

"What about… being on the other side?" he cleared his throat nervously, keeping his eyes on the newspaper article and playing with the handle of him mug.

"You mean being cheated on?" this topic of conversation was causing turmoil in Nick's head.

"I mean… being the one she's cheating _with_"

Suddenly Nick was gripped with that feeling again, like a fist was grasping his heart and squeezing it just enough to make his breathing tighten in his chest. He could picture Caitlyn's skin stretched out in front of him, he could imagine placing his lips on her and tasting the perspiration that dappled across it, he could remember making her moan and tremble in his arms only now that memory was tainted by the image of Greg in front of him. His friend, his colleague and now his competition almost.

"Why… uh, why do you ask?" Nick asked, clearing his throat and joining Greg in staring at the newspaper.

"Just curious... I was reading something the other day..." Greg shrugged hoping that he came across as casual. "Did you know that 53% of marriages end because of adultery?"

"I can't say I did..." Nick leant back in his seat.

"I mean there must be a reason people do it- a reason you'd let yourself get into that situation." Greg hypothesized his mind wandering to Sara- to the broken look in her eyes from the previous night. The loneliness and the pining that shaped her life.

"I guess...but it's sex... I mean that's different... you don't need a reason for that..." His friend's mind wandering to his relationship with Cait- what justification did they have for what they've been doing?

"I don't think that's true... I don't think you've have sex with someone for no reason." Greg insisted.

"sex doesn't have to be about love, Greg" he declared somewhat sadly. He thought about Caitlyn whispering her goodbyes as she disappeared out of his arms. It seemed ironic to him, the number of times he had crept out of a woman's bedroom and disappeared into the night without leaving so much as a phone number behind was insurmountable but when it was happening to him it tormented him. "sometimes its just about sex"

"so then its justified? As long as there's no emotions involved then its ok?"

"So why do you think people cheat?" Nick asked with furrowed eyebrows wondering if Greg was starting to doubt Cait. He could imagine her justifying their affair the same way Greg seemed to be trying to. As long as she didn't feel anything for him then she wasn't really hurting Greg, as long as she didn't fall in love then it was ok. If that was indeed the case then he wondered why she looked at him a certain way that made his heart pound, he wondered why he felt so strongly about her if it wasn't mutual.

"You need to? You need someone close to you, to be intimate with..."

"Shouldn't you be doing that with your legitimate partner?" Nick shrugged.

"I guess..." But Greg knew Sara didn't have that. He knew that Sara went home to an empty house every night, that she watched the cold side of the bed instead of sleeping. He'd seen her heart break as she climbed into her car knowing that she was going to be alone. Grissom had hurt her more times than he could count and all he wanted was for her to be okay. Greg convinced himself that he'd be a better friend, that he'd be there for her but he realized he couldn't get that kiss out of his head.

"do you think Caitlyn's cheating on you Greg?" he tore the words from his dry mouth, the realization that he was terrified of hearing the answer weighed on his mind but he had to clarify the situation, he had to know where Greg was going with this.

"Cait?" Greg frowned at him as if the thought of Caitlyn was only just occurring to him. All this time he thought their conversation had been about Caitlyn's promiscuity when in fact it had nothing to do with her. It did beg the question of what exactly Greg was getting at. "I… I need to take care of something. Will you cover for me?"

Greg didn't wait for his answer; he abandoned the conversation, the coffee and the lab and stomped outside on his own little mission. He had to have it out with Sara; he had to know what all this meant. For the past week she had been present in his dreams, wrapped in his arms, tangled amongst the sheets in a mess of skin and sweat. She had popped into his head when he was making love to Caitlyn; she had been his very first thought upon waking up that morning. Something had to be done. He couldn't go on like this; she had infected every part of his consciousness.

And then that kiss. That kiss seemed to never end, even now as he drove through the driving rain on the way to her condo he could feel her lips on his. It didn't end when they parted it spread like a rash across his entire body and now he couldn't stop thinking about it.

The lights were off in her condo but he could see the flickering blue lights of the television highlighting the blinds. He had suddenly lost sight of why he was actually here as he pulled the car into the driveway and killed the engine. He wasn't sure whether he was there out of anger, concern, curiosity or even love. He wasn't very sure of anything anymore but he knew he had to see her. He had to look into her eyes and see if she felt the same way. It could be their ever increasing need to be close to each other came as a surprise to her too. There was also a very strong chance she could have forgotten all about it or regret ever laying eyes on him.

So Greg done what he did best and he swallowed all his emotions, suppressing his feelings and pasting on his very best fake smile. He wasn't sure what he would find on the other side of that door, Sara was unpredictable at the best of times. He settled his nerves and knocked with all the control he could muster.

She didn't answer right away; he was left standing there, holding his breath and trying to peer through the frosted glass on the side of the wall. A strange feeling of foreboding seemed to bubble up inside that was out with his control. Again he raised his hand and knocked on the door. A little harder this time, a little more irate and hasty.

"Sara? Sara its Greg, will you let me in please?" he listened carefully against the door but there was no sound "We need to talk"

He moved across to the kitchen window and peered inside. The room looked empty, the TV was on but there was no Sara shaped shadow taking up position on the couch. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his incredibly jumbled set of keys. He was always being teased for the amount of key chains he carted around; his keys could easily weigh as much as a small child. Sara's key was attached to a tiny silver S, it was one of the only keys he could always find first time.

Unlocking the door he crept inside feeling a heavy atmosphere settle in around him, there was something wrong with this picture. Somehow he knew he was going to find something that would tear him apart, the truth was he didn't expect that something to be accompanied by her laughter, he didn't expect it to hurt so much to see her happy.

Grissom's voice echoed off the walls and reverberated in his ears, it seemed to seep into his brain and thud inside his heart. He was home, he had surprised her and she was probably smiling again. She was probably beaming from ear to ear at having her husband back in her arms even if he was just going to leave again. He wondered briefly as he crept outside if she thought about him when she was locked in Grissom's embrace, the way he did about her. He wondered if it was maybe all in his head and he just really needed to put some space between them and focus on the relationship he did have.

Sara appeared in the hallway, her silk robe wrapped around her body and her eyes wide with concern "Greg?... what are you doing here?"

His mind was racing, trying to think of the reasons he had for being there. he had been so certain as he drove, he knew exactly what he was going to say but now the words fell silent on his lips. Grissom appeared behind her, thankfully fully dressed. It had been a long time since he had laid eyes on his former boss and mentor. He held such respect for the man it made the shame in his soul cast its shadow over his heart.

"I… I'm sorry. I didn't know you were here… Sara didn't answer her phone…. I was worried."

He purposefully addressed Grissom, knowing that right now he couldn't look into Sara's eyes. he would give it away the second he did and right now that was a really bad idea.

"well I'm glad you're looking after her Greg. will you stay for coffee?"

Grissom was already making his way across to the kitchen and Greg faltered for a second, meeting Sara's eye while he was out of sight. She was pleading with him not to stay, her eyes speaking volumes about their last meeting.

"I can't I need to get to work. Its good to see you Grissom" Greg shook Grissom's hand and turned back to Sara "I'll see you around."

Sara nodded politely and Greg vowed he would never put himself in that position again. No matter what happened Sara was married, and not to some faceless accountant he had no knowledge of she was married to a man he held in such high esteem he couldn't imagine what went through his head in those few moments when he had actually considered indulging in an affair. Sara was happy and that was all that mattered. He had Caitlyn to focus on and their relationship was going from strength to strength now she had let go of all that jealousy and found herself some Vegas friends.

But he drove back to the lab feeling a sense of loss that concerned him, he wasn't sure he could look at Caitlyn the same way. He wasn't sure he could smile at her and kiss her and whisper sweet nothings in her ear knowing there was someone else on his mind. He wasn't sure he could be that guy, he didn't know if he had it in him.


	16. Chapter 16

Caitlyn threw herself out of the bed with a groan and disappeared into the living room almost slamming the door. Greg was startled awake by the commotion, unsure exactly what was going on he shuffled into the room rubbing his eyes sleepily. She was curled on the couch, a blanket pulled over her shoulders and a book in her hand. The soft glow of the lamp by her side cast a romantic blush across her face.

"What's goin on Cait, that's the third time this week you've ended up on the couch?"

He always looked the same in the morning, his hair sticking out at all angles, his soft brown eyes filled with the haze of sleep, his arms always hung limply by his sides as if raising them was just too much effort. He sat on the coffee table across from her and squinted his eyes in an attempt to focus.

"Well, as much as I am aware you can't control what you dream about… I can't lie beside you and listen to you calling out for Sara in your sleep anymore"

Greg was shocked, it wasn't news to him he had been dreaming about Sara. They had become increasingly more intense and nothing he could do would shake them. Her tone wasn't angry but it was stern nonetheless and he was suddenly speechless, unable to form coherent thought at all.

"I get that you need to work through whatever it is you two are going through right now Greg" he took a breath to stop her talking but she placed her finger on his lips and shook her head. "It's ok. I understand. I really do but I… I don't want to listen to you fantasizing about her. It's too hard"

"Cait… I… I'm sorry I don't…"

"You're in love with her, right?"

Her forthright questioning surprised him, while he had been dealing with this he thought he was doing a great job of hiding it. He was fairly sure Sara had no idea, they had worked together, ate together, spent the normal amount of time in each other's company and while he may have spent a high proportion of the time reminding himself not to pay any attention to the way she licked her lips or stroked her hair behind her ear he had found himself fixating on those details but he had been hiding it, unfortunately his dream's hadn't been quite as good at keeping quiet.

"I…" he looked at Caitlyn sitting there waiting for his answer knowing he didn't know what to say, he couldn't lie to her but he couldn't define how he felt about Sara right now. He didn't know himself.

"You need to decide Greg" she caressed his face with a gentle hand. "It's not an ultimatum but I need to know..."

"What if I don't know?" he was surprised at his own honesty. He had planned to keep his inner turmoil to himself, Caitlyn was the last person he should be sharing it with but their past clouded his mind. She was always the one he could say anything to; he lost sight of the fact that what he was saying was potentially hurting her.

"You don't know?" she threw off the blanket and began pacing the room. "How can you not know?"

"I…I wish I could tell you…" he whispered, standing in front of her.

"Then what is this?" she questioned, motioning towards him "what exactly is going here? Are we just killing time until she decides to leave her husband for you?"

Greg sighed; there really was no way out of this. No matter what he said he was going to upset her.

"She won't leave Grissom." He realized a little too late how dejected he sounded. How his voice didn't do a good job of hiding his disappointment.

"So I'm what? The runner up prize? You can't have it both ways Greg. I don't know if there's anything left here worth fighting for"

"Cait, I'm sorry. You're not second best I swear… I just… I need a little time to get my head straight"

"Well don't think I'm going to just wait around until you decide Greg. I know what it's like to be confused, relationships aren't easy but… we need to start being straight with each other. We both need to stop telling each other it's ok when it's not. We both have to stop looking elsewhere for comfort and closeness and …love"

There was something in her voice that made him pay attention. The way she worded her little speech struck a chord.

"We both do?" he questioned but she was done talking.

She shook her head and reached out to switch off the lamp, it was still dark outside; the orange of the sun not yet peeking over the horizon, the buzz of the city still hushed and asleep. The blanket was pulled over her shoulder as she settled into the crook of the couch and closed her eyes.

He trudged back to bed wondering exactly what was going on in his relationship right now. Caitlyn had once been the one he couldn't get out of his head; she had once been the one who cast waves of electricity across his body with a single touch or a meaningful look. They had settled into this strange place in their relationship. Somehow the once fiery passion had been lost; the relationship had become almost hollow in that sense.

He loved her, there was no doubt about that but he always had and it was with the same love he had then that he looked at her now. he didn't know if she felt the same sense of anti-climax as he did, the same disappointment and sorrow that they hadn't created a beautiful romance together but he knew that she didn't look at him the same way anymore and for a person who was dealing with the fact her boyfriend was possibly in love with another woman she was behaving incredibly calmly.

After a tortured sleep he cautiously peeked his head outside and gazed at the couch. He half expected a showdown, now she had had some time to process their conversation maybe that feisty, confident Caitlyn he had grown up with would resurface.

"Good morning sunshine" she smiled at him from the tiny table shoved in the corner of the kitchen. She was still wearing her pajama's, her hair knotted in a messy bun high on her head, her legs tucked under her on the chair as she leaned over the newspaper with a bowl of cereal in her hands.

"You… uh… you're not mad?" he carefully slipped into the chair across from her, studying her face for signs of irritation or annoyance.

She just studied the newspaper and spooned more fruit loops into her mouth while he watched her with confusion. Strands of softly twisting hair danced in the light breeze from the open window, her brow furrowed a little as she concentrated on the story in front of her.

He realized just how familiar these things were to him now; he had been taking her for granted. He had forgotten how endearing it was when she bit down on her bottom lip or hovered her spoon in mid-air because she had forgotten she was eating. He was incredibly lucky she was still here, he could have been staring at the vacant chair this morning, he could have been mourning the loss of something incredibly special for something he wasn't even sure was really there.

"About what?"

Eventually his eyes burned into her enough for her to look up at him and hold his gaze. She may have been pasting on a smile from across the room but he could see she was hurt, he didn't even try to deny his feelings for Sara and yet she was still sitting waiting for him in the morning, she was still pretending it was ok.

One of Caitlyn's major flaws was that she would bury things, deep down inside her for a very long time. Eventually she would crumble under the pressure, eventually her walls would break down and she would fall but right now she was most definitely in the burial stage. Under normal circumstances he would draw the truth from her, he would help her carry the weight but this time he really needed her to keep this buried for a little longer.

"Uhh... nothing. You ready for operation Barbeque?" he grinned the most genuine smile he could manage and took her hand in his.

"As I'll ever be!" she replied flatly. She had never tried to hide her distaste at the idea of this party. She insisted it was a bad idea, that bringing a lot of people together and adding a lot of alcohol and the inevitable heat wave temperatures of the weekend could only end in disaster. She was probably right, last year he had succeeded in getting Henry so drunk he fell asleep in the bin and was almost sent to the recycling plant. It had entertained Hodges for weeks. But he always held the summer Barbeque, it was tradition and who was he to stand in the way of tradition?

She uncurled from the chair, put her bowl in the sink and kissed him on the head, the same way she did every single day without fail, only this time her lips didn't linger on his skin like they normally did. This time she drew away quickly and stroked his shoulder as she disappeared into the bedroom to get changed. He realized she was already starting to detach from him, she was already preparing herself to be broken.

Within a few minutes she was back, denim shorts and a white vest accompanied a high pony tail and she tossed the sweeping brush at him as she gathered up some cleaning supplies and the stereo from the kitchen.

"Let's do it Sandy, we've got a lot of work to do if we're going to make that roof habitable" she smiled and sauntered off out of the house, he was sure she was exaggerating the swing of her hips on purpose.

It took the best part of three hours to set up the roof but he had to admit it had never looked better. Last year he had haphazardly dotted some chairs around and hooked up a pulley system from his fridge for the beer, he had become so much better organized in the last year. Not only had they cleaned and brought a few tiny tables but there was now a bench, lanterns and a chest fridge his landlord had tried to throw out. Caitlyn had even insisted that he buy an actual barbeque if he was having a barbeque. He had to admit, it looked great.

Caitlyn stood beside him, mop in her hand and rested her head on his shoulder with a sigh. They stood there admiring their handiwork for a few long moments. He wound his arm around her and twisted her in his arms so that she was facing him.

"I'd call that a job well done Miss Anderson" he smiled; trying to get back the easiness there once was between them. Her hands rested on his chest, a light sheen of perspiration crossed her skin from both the heat of the sun and the hard cleaning shift they had just completed.

"It looks great, what did you do?" she grinned.

"I did many things." Greg insisted with a smile.

"Still taking credit for my work... it's like our sixth grade science project all over again." Caitlyn rolled her eyes at the man before her. The memories of their history lingered in the forefront of Greg's mind as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I did a lot of work for that project I'll have you know... and today... I moved those plants out of the way..." He laughed, she could feel his body vibrate against hers sending shivers down her spine.

"Oh how you lie Gregory Sanders." Cait smiled letting herself get comfortable in his arms.

"Me?" He attempted an innocent expression.

"Don't pull innocent with me... I know you too well."

"But you love me for it..." Greg insisted hovering his lips over hers, feeling their breath mingling until she closed the space and pressed her lips against his.

It felt strangely exhilarating, like the first time their lips met when emotion and anticipation had washed over him with ever increasing power. Once again he was overwhelmed by her presence, by the fact that she was kissing him, that he could feel her in his arms and take her to his bed. It was like he was discovering all these things for the very first time and it left him breathless. When she broke away she slipped her cell phone from her pocket and looked up at him with a smirk.

"We better get ready, 2 hours till ShowTime!"

"You know…" he offered while following her down the stairs to his apartment "I read that sharing a shower saves time, energy and it's good for the environment"

She pulled the hairband from her hair and he watched the cascades of curls collapse over her back, her top dropped to the floor and she looked over her shoulder to send him a sultry smile as she turned the shower on.

"I heard it's unhygienic, and besides you have cooking to do"

She slipped out of her shorts and underwear before he even had a chance to protest and pulled the screen behind her. Apparently, he had cooking to do.

She emerged an incalculable time later looking a million dollars. He cast his eyes over her as he stirred the pot of chili on the stove. She wore a dark red gypsy dress with a denim waistcoat and some cork bottomed wedges. Her hair was twisted into a messy braid and slung over her shoulder and she greeted him with a gentle smile as she crossed the room towards him.

"Taste" he declared simply, holding out the huge spoon he was using in her direction. He was a good cook, he didn't mind admitting it. Cait had taught him a few specialist dishes to impress girl's way back in college and chili was one of them.

"Little more salt and you're good" she passed him the salt from the cupboard and took over the cooking while he showered and changed. He had never prepared so much food for a barbeque before, normally he _said_ it was a barbeque but really all he did was char some burgers and call a massive pizza delivery.

There was a strange sadness lingering between them, an unspoken agreement to keep being agreeable until after the party. He knew that when the scrutiny of their friends and workmates had passed they would have to face up to the fact that their relationship was dying before their eyes.

They carted the food up onto the roof and Greg fiddled with the stereo while Caitlyn manned the barbeque. She had been allocated the job since Greg declared he was useless with a spatula and a danger to the city near fire.

Before long the party was beginning to fill up; Greg had firmly placed himself behind the huge fridge and assumed the position of 'cocktail maker extraordinaire'. A steady stream of people lined up to taste his creations and he swung his shaker around like a pro regaling everyone with tales of his time as a 'mixologist' in a trendy New York City bar.

Nick had been telling himself all day not to go, he could have made up an excuse, a stomach bug or an emergency call out but for some reason he had found himself in a bar nursing more than a few beers before he had walked the short distance to Greg's apartment.

He had intended to show face, eat some burgers and then go home. What he actually found himself doing was standing in a group of people who were watching Greg throw drinks around while he kept his eyes firmly locked on Caitlyn.

She was stood behind the barbeque, carefully turning slabs of meat and heating buns. DB Russell, his supervisor and superior stood in front of her, clearly telling her some ridiculous story as he handed her a couple of huge mushrooms he obviously intended her to char. While she laughed and nodded at him it was clear she wasn't entirely sure what to make of Mr. Russell and if he was honest he wasn't sure he knew either but he decided to rescue her anyway.

He watched her cooking, impressed by her skills while suppressing the memories they had created together. He had been spending a lot of time with her lately, every Tuesday night and Thursday afternoon for the past few weeks was devoted to him, if Greg spent the weekend with Sara then Cait spent the weekend with him and he couldn't really say it was all about sex either. The weekends and midweek rendezvous were strictly sex free. He found it incredibly hard to be hands off when she settled in his arms on the couch or held his hand as they strolled home from the cinema. It could almost be called a relationship, if it wasn't for the fact that she went home to another man every night.

She hadn't spotted him yet, or at least she was avoiding his eye if she had. His conversation with Greg was suddenly in his mind. She didn't look like a person with a relationship in ruins, she was smiling, happy and carefree but then he knew just how capable Caitlyn was of hiding how she was really feeling. Greg was suddenly by his side, slinging his arm over his shoulders and offering him a huge glass of something Green and clearly toxic.

"Drink. It'll put hair on your chest" he grinned, clearly having sampled one too many of his own creations to be considered experimental.

"I think I like my chest just the way it is dude"

"Maybe it'll help you get a girl" he laughed, almost folding in half as he was overcome by laughter. "Hey, have you met Cait?" he tried to whisper, succeeding only in shouting through his teeth.

"Yeah Greg, you were there buddy" he patted his friends chest and made a move to try and escape his clutches. "We had dinner together remember?"

"I think you need to meet her again though, she's cooking. Did you know her mom owns a restaurant back home? '_The blue orchid'_ I'll get you a reservation" he winked "Come on I'll introduce you"

Nick shook his head as Greg moved them both clumsily towards the barbeque. Caitlyn finally looked at him, an expression of pure horror crossing her face. It was not what he had expected at all.

"Cait, have you met Nicky?" Greg turned to Nick again with a huge smile "have you met Cait?"

While they were both about to launch into a protest at the belated introductions Greg spotted Archie fishing in his fridge and launched himself across the roof to claim his ownership. Caitlyn was watching him, waiting on him making a move or a witty comment or to simply turn away and leave. So he reached out his hand to hers and met her eye with a mischievous smile.

"Nice to meet you ma'am, I'm Nick Stokes. I work with Greg"

She slipped her hand into his and a bolt of electricity shot itself up his arm. "Nice to meet you Mr. Stokes" she smiled; flipping a burger with her spare hand and making him wince with her treatment of it.

"Hey, this is why Barbequing is for the menfolk" he grinned, taking the spatula from her hand and easing her across the space with his body "you gotta coax it over, not just whack it on!"

"Oh, it's' gently gently now is it Nick?" she met his eyes with a sense of victory over her innuendo.

"Hey, I am a gentleman at all times you know. I always give a lady what she wants" he met her eye, sexual tension settling between them as their arms brushed together.

"I'll vouch for that…" she purred quietly.

"Ahh soul mates" DB chimed in, making them both break their prolonged eye contact to stare at him like two deer caught in the headlights. DB gave a small breathy chuckle and pointed to his mushrooms on the grill, now dripping with melted cheese "Mushrooms… with cheese. They were made for each other, don't you think?"

He simply walked off to perch on the bench beside Brass and grace him with his wonderful, random conversation.

"I see you've had the pleasure of meeting our boss?" Nick grinned as he placed two slabs of meat onto the grill and nursed them gently with the spatula.

"Oh he sure is something else!" She was watching the bodies tangled on the makeshift dance floor with curiosity. He glanced across at her, remembering a time when it was the two of them dancing together.

"Maybe I'll show you some more of my moves on the dance floor after a couple more drinks?" he offered with a smile, alcohol clearly taking control of his mouth more than he would have liked.

Nick placed his hand on the small of her back as he moved to pick up a knife from the wall along the edge of the roof. She almost jumped halfway across the room. Her eyes scanned the crowd in a panic as an awkward silence settled between them.

"Can I get you another drink?" she asked, a high pitched breathless voice escaping her mouth brimming with nerves.

She was nervous; he could understand her nerves of course. It wasn't every day you spent a boozy barbeque in the presence of your boyfriend and the guy you were screwing behind his back. He shook his head and turned his attention back to the meat while secretly watching her leave.

Greg was grinning at her over the fridge, refusing to give her a drink without a kiss in exchange. The feeble arguments she was offering had no effect as he waved two bottles just out of her reach. She offered him a tiny peck on the cheek and snatched the beers from his hand with a smile. She seemed to have regained her composure by the time she came back to the barbeque.

The easy, flirty conversation soon returned and she didn't flinch under his touch anymore but all that changed the second Sara breezed through the door to the roof. She had insisted she wasn't coming, Caitlyn had listened to Greg trying to convince her otherwise but Grissom was in town. That meant Sara was otherwise occupied.

There was no mistaking the way the mood fell in the room and Caitlyn seemed to freeze in time as her eyes scanned Sara then darted to Greg. He looked every bit as gob smacked as she did as he drew his eyes up Sara's body and she smiled over at him across the throng of people. Greg abandoned his drink and his audience and moved towards her immediately, wrapping his arms around her and placing a kiss on her cheek while his eyes danced across her entire body.

Caitlyn saw it too, her body stiffened and her breathing sped up as she watched them, she bit down on her lip so hard there was no way it didn't hurt. A slow realization was dawning on him; Greg's rather cryptic conversation didn't have anything to do with Caitlyn after all.

It was all about Sara.


	17. Chapter 17

Her presence hit him like a kick in the stomach. He had spent all day convincing himself he was in love with Caitlyn, that she was the only one for him and they were meant to be together and the second Sara walked onto the roof and looked at him with _that_ smile he had all but forgotten who Caitlyn was.

Her legs seemed to stretch on forever, the heels elongating them even further as he drew his eyes slowly over her. She wobbled slightly as she moved in his direction, giggling under her breath.

"Sorry I'm late, I _may_ have stopped by a bar or two on my way over here" she winked exaggeratedly and pressed a finger to his lips "shhhhhh"

"I thought you were going for a meal with the husband?" he asked pulling her toward him to kiss her cheek.

"Yeah well so did I" she rolled her eyes and looked around the room at the gathered crowds "he had some stupid meeting to go to"

"I thought he came back for a holiday?" he quizzed as she took his hand and led him onto the dance floor.

"You and me both" she started to twist her hips and move to the music, holding his eye contact the entire time and hypnotizing him. He was aware that Caitlyn was across the room, in full view of them but he couldn't look away and he couldn't keep himself from placing his hands on her waist and surrendering to the heat of the moment. It was just dancing, he rationalized, there was nothing promiscuous about it. His hands stroked her waist, his hips moved against her in time to the music.

"What's going on with those two?" Nick whispered in Caitlyn's ear.

His breath brushed the skin on the back of her neck like a caress; she held her breath with her eyes fixed on Greg and Sara as they danced. A feeling of panic bubbled up inside her, they were practically having sex right in front of her eyes and it had a very surprising physical effect on her. She fought it as best she could but her body shook with anger and the feeling of betrayal. It was easy to bury something when it wasn't rubbed in her face, it was easy to deny it was happening and pretend to play happy families but she could see the love in their eyes, she could feel the sexual tension from here.

She didn't acknowledge Nick's question, didn't respond to his gentle hand on her arm or the proximity of his body to hers. She couldn't stay in the same room as all that and she knew Greg watched her leave, as Nick chased her across to the stairs Greg's eyes burned into her over Sara's shoulder but he made no move to try and stop her.

"So...you like my shirt?" Sara asked with a devilish smile. Greg couldn't help but glance down at the thin fabric that clung to her skin moving slowly in the breeze.

"I recognize it..." He said with a furrowed brow.

"I thought you might." Sara laughed before explaining. "I wore it once ages ago on laundry day... you said you liked it."

"Ah I remember, I made fun of you for getting dressed up at a crime scene." Greg nodded; remember seeing Sara in the dessert sun with the satin blouse.

"I wore it just for you." Sara leaned in muttering huskily into his ear. He could smell the whiskey on her breath mixed in with her own specific scent- that alone had him feeling intoxicated.

"I'm glad you did..." He replied in a hushed tone, their eye contact not breaking for a second. The feeling of her body warmth under his hands felt like it was burning; she licked her lips and glanced around at the crowd.

"Let's go somewhere…" she whispered.

Greg felt like his heart might explode it was racing so fast, she was clutching his hand and pulling him in the very same direction Caitlyn had disappeared to. Hesitantly he pulled her back and held her in his arms, her hands stroked across his chest and she raised an eyebrow in surprise as she caressed the firm muscles hidden under his shirt.

"Caitlyn went that way…" he cautioned her, incredibly aware that they were standing a lot closer than could be considered platonic to their workmates. It struck him as odd that the more he indulged in fulfilling his fantasies with Sara the more sober he became. He would have put money on it being the other way around.

Sara gave him another one of those incredibly erotic smiles and darted around the small building surrounding the stair well, as he followed her away from the sound of the music and the buzz of the guests he stared open mouthed as she stepped onto the small metal ladders bolted to the side of the wall.

"So we go up!" she declared.

He stood below her and realized he was completely helpless; her Capri pants clung to her curves and elongated her already endless legs. From his position he could take in every detail of those legs, from the tiny flower on the top of her foot to the exposed skin at the base of her spine. He turned off all conscious thought as he followed her up and kept his eyes fixed on the smooth creamy patch of skin.

His mind cast over a conversation he had had with Nick, about how affairs could be just about sex. It didn't have to be a heavy emotional connection; maybe this was just what they needed to clear the air. They needed to resolve the tension between them and as he stepped up the ladders to follow her he knew they both knew of only one way to neutralize this flame.

Inside, Caitlyn held a glass of water in trembling hands. When Nick approached her she laughed a bitter laugh and turned away from him to clutch the side of the sink.

"What's going on Cait?"

She was shaking her head in disbelief, her hair rippling behind her, shining in the dim lighting. With a glance over his shoulder to make sure they were alone he closed the space between them and stood behind her, his hands resting beside hers on the side of the sink. She was trying to be defiant, trying to hold back the tears and the anger that was very obviously bubbling under the surface.

He could breathe in the tang of her perfume and the soft fragrance of her hair, he could feel her warmth radiating from her body in front of him. It was captivating and all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and make it all go away, whatever she was dealing with with Greg it was certainly not good.

"I don't want to talk about it Nick…" her voice was weak and broken, she raised the glass to her lips and he watched the beads of moisture sparkle on them like diamonds.

He wrapped his arms around her, pressing his body against hers and dipped his head to whisper kisses along her shoulder. She sighed and pressed her eyes closed as he turned her in his arms. He could taste the alcohol on her lips mixed with the freshness of the water and the tang of raspberries.

While their kissing started as tender it soon escalated to a passionate embrace. This was risky, their work mates and lovers were partying above them. There was nothing to stop anyone bursting through the door and witnessing their promiscuity and the thrill of being caught only added to the heat of the moment.

He tangled one hand through her hair while his other hand tilted her hips against him, she was shocked by the sudden whole body contact and the glass slipped from her hand shattering all over the floor. Her eyes shot open and her hand pressed on his chest, pushing him away as she pushed back on the counter and slipped out of his arms.

"No, Nick… not here, not… not now"

He laughed dismissively and moved to pull her closer again but she pushed him away angrily and moved out of his reach. Her behavior was completely bewildering to him, they had done a lot worse without Greg spurring them on by dirty dancing with Sara on the roof. It would make more sense for her to cheat on him now than any other time and yet she was pushing him away.

"What's going on Cait? It's not like we haven't done it before!"

"It's not Tuesday…" she whispered into the room weakly. It was the first time he had ever seen her look ashamed, she couldn't even look at him.

"what are you talking about?" he tried to go to her, tried to wrap his arms around her and stroke her hair until she stopped feeling this way but she backed away from his advances as though she was scared of them.

"Tuesday. It … it doesn't count on Tuesday's. It doesn't count when Greg's with Sara"

As much as her logic was laughable her words hurt. It didn't count; she had no investment in his life at all. It was just sex. She stared at her feet, leaning against the counter as far away from him as she could be. his mind was racing but his heart felt like it had stopped as he watched her, he couldn't begin to form the right words to explain this to her. Everything would fall short. Eventually she tore her eyes from the floor and met his eye, her hair falling over her face and hiding the unshed tears making her eyes glisten.

"He's with Sara right now; he's up there with her …"

"I'm sorry…" the words barely made a sound as she sighed and shook her head.

Nick took a step towards her, taking her hand in his and stroking his thumb across her palm.

"I think I'm in love with you Caitlyn" he muttered, holding her eye contact. He could get lost in her eyes; time seemed to lose all meaning when she looked at him this way.

"You're not in love with me Nick, you hardly know me" her lip quivered and the words seemed to be forced out of her throat as a single tear snaked down her cheek.

"I know that you pick your fingernails when you're nervous" he began "I know how you take your coffee, the kind of books you read… that your favorite flowers are yellow Tulips because they remind you of sunshine…. and that you don't like nuts in your ice cream"

Nick smiled softly and gently stroked his hand across her face, wiping her tears away.

"Don't do this" she begged.

"I know that when we kiss I can't imagine anything more perfect, that I can't stop thinking about you. Every second of the day, it's only you. I can't only have Tuesday's"

He kissed her slowly, his hand cradling the back of her head as he pulled her closer. His lips caressed hers and he breathed in her scent trying to absorb the moment into his memories. He had an overwhelming sense of loss, that there was a possibility this would be the last time he would be able to hold her like this.

"I… I can't" she muttered into his neck as she clung to him.

With a nod he carefully unfolded her arms from his neck and moved across the room. He paused at the door, his hand lingering over the handle, the sound of laughter and music from upstairs filtering down into the apartment as she glanced over her shoulder at him.

He wasn't sure what he was waiting for. A declaration of love perhaps, an acknowledgement that the way she monopolized his thoughts wasn't one sided, instead she shook her head and looked at him with those shame filled eyes as the tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. So he left, he stormed to the roof to get his coat and say his goodbyes. Greg and Sara were nowhere to be found.

xxxxxxx

"I had forgotten all about this place" Greg remarked as he stood up, Sara was the only other person who knew it was here. They had spent many a golden summer afternoon laid out on the pair of sun loungers soaking in the sun's rays and the relaxing atmosphere far away from all civilization.

"Do you remember when you thought it would be a good idea to have our own 4th of July fireworks display?" Sara laughed, glancing out at the view offered to them by the height.

"Hey, I didn't know they would start a fire!" he defended playfully as he stood beside her.

"You're a walking disaster Greg Sanders!" she smiled, turning to face him and meeting his eye.

"Only when I'm trying to impress you…"he whispered.

"You must be trying to impress me a lot Greg… your disaster list is rather long!"

The space between them was slowly disintegrating as they spoke; a heat seemed to close in around them like a second skin.

"I'm always trying to impress you…"

Sara didn't answer, her lips found his hungrily and he found himself stroking his hands across her back and savoring the feeling of her soft silky skin under his fingers.

She didn't hesitate or tremble like he thought she would, her hands got to work removing his shirt before he even had a chance to process exactly what was happening and they stumbled across the gravel to fall heavily into one of the loungers. Sara immediately wrapped her legs around him, her lips not leaving his for more than a second. He couldn't keep up, he was so overwhelmed by the rush of emotion and lust that he seemed to have left his conscious thought somewhere on the dance floor.

"Make love to me Greg" she breathed in his ear as her teeth scraped lightly over his earlobe. She slid his shirt from his shoulders and smiled in satisfaction as he drew back and met her eye. He was uncertain this was a good idea. the inner voice that reminded him not to cheat on his girlfriend with his married best friend had been replaced by Nick's voice telling him it was just sex, the alcohol didn't help; A combination of his ample amount of cocktails and the bitter taste of whiskey on Sara's lips was a heady mixture. He twisted her into the chair and hovered over her, drinking in the pink flush on her cheeks and the glint in her eye.

She sensed his uncertainty, meeting his eye with a wicked smile she took his hand and moved it to her lips. Carefully pecking kisses on each finger before she looped her tongue around one and drew it inside her mouth sucking the tip and running her tongue around it until he leaned down and practically growled in her ear as he pulled off his pants.

He started to slowly unfasten the buttons of her shirt but Sara was impatient, she ran a single finger inside the hem and every single shining button popped open revealing miles of milky skin and her panting chest bathed in black silk. A ribbon tied in a bow nestled between her breasts like a present on Christmas morning. He drew breath and met her eye as he pulled one strand of ribbon and the silk folded away sensually pulling a low sigh from her throat that sent shivers all over his body.

He dipped his mouth to cover her body in his kisses, she was squirming in anticipation by the time he returned to her lips and dipped his hand inside her pants. He looked into her eyes as he stroked his fingers over her, working her into frenzy until her chest was heaving and she looped her arm around his neck to cling onto him. He felt a small sense of victory when every muscle in her body clenched and she buried her face into his chest stifling the moan burning in her throat before collapsing back on the lounger. Her breath came out in gasps as she looked at him with a new burning passion, devouring his lips before he even had the chance to regain his breathing pattern.

"I want you Greg…" she shimmied out of her pants and wrapped her legs around his waist pulling his body down to hers and pulling her nails down across his chest "I want you now" she growled.

All at once he was consumed by a fire and he couldn't stop it, passion took over and all thought of the party winding down below them or Caitlyn or Grissom evaporated out of his mind.

There was only Sara.

She didn't suppress the moan that left her mouth when he pushed into her, her muscles clenched around him and he had to steel a few seconds to calm his breathing. He had intended to take his time, to drive her wild and make her beg for more as he worked her into frenzy but she was ravenous, she rotated her hips against him and whispered things in his ear that could easily have made him lose control on their own. She knew exactly how to manipulate him but as he rocked against her at a more feverish pace she submitted to him, stopped trying to take control and surrendered to the sensations washing over her.

She gazed at him with dilated pupils and let everything go, her entire body trembling uncontrollably and sending him crashing right along with her. He collapsed onto the chair beside her and wrapped her in his arms, a tangled mess of limbs and sweat and breathless kisses.

Eventually they had to acknowledge the party down below them and the fact that they both belonged to someone else but words didn't really cut it. They dressed in silence; Sara brushed her hand through her hair and sent him a sad little smile as she took the ladders back down to their workmates and friends.

Greg leaned back on the lounger and stared at the stars shining in the sky. He tried to justify his actions but his conscience had slowly returned as the alcohol had seeped out of his pores. He was now fully sober and fully aware he had committed a deadly sin. With Sara of all people.

It was everything he dreamed of, every night for the past two months. It was everything he had imagined and yet his justification at the time seemed to fall flat. He had passed it off as purely physical; he had somehow assumed that if he didn't attach emotion to it then it was ok. If it was in fact just sex then shouldn't it be out of his system by now?

His heart felt heavy as he descended the ladder, his head spinning with so many conflicting emotions. His eyes fell on Sara, chatting to Morgan on the other side of the roof as though nothing had happened. She could brush it under the carpet so easily; he wished he could do the same.

Caitlyn was talking shot drinking lessons with Archie and Hodges; he knew that wouldn't be the last he would hear of that. Caitlyn couldn't hold her drink at the best of times but when she was drinking to forget emotional trauma it was most likely to bring it to the surface. For now at least she was smiling and laughing, it tugged at his heart strings to know that he was hurting her. He knew what he had to do but the thought of letting her go terrified him. He wouldn't just be losing a lover he would be losing his oldest friend and someone who held a very special place in his heart.

She spotted him watching her and met his eye with an uncertain little smile before turning back to the line of shots in front of her and listening to Archie count down. She and Hodges were having a race, Hodges didn't stand a chance.

Suddenly Sara was running across the room with a huge smile on her face and she threw herself into the arms of her bewildered husband. Greg watched him stroke his hands over her back and meet her lips with such venom he surprised even himself. The party guests practically lined up to shake hands and chat with the great Gil Grissom, Greg couldn't suppress the eye roll as Caitlyn crossed the room and passed him a shot and they clinked glasses together.

"I take it that is the elusive Mr. Grissom?" she queried, quickly downing the liquid in the glass and shaking off the nausea and the stinging behind her eyes.

"Sure is, I don't really see why he has people swooning over him myself"

"Ha-ha well if you did I'd probably be a little worried Sandy" she smiled and placed a kiss on his cheek. She pretended not to notice the smear of lipstick across his neck or the scent of her perfume all over him, the thought of him locked in an embrace terrified her so much she buried it and pretended it wasn't happening. "Are we… ok?"

He turned to look at her, she looked nervous as though she was waiting for him to say no, but he couldn't do it. He wrapped her in his arms and inhaled the scent of her hair.

"Of course we are, why wouldn't we be?"

Caitlyn bit her tongue and returned to the makeshift bar, it was obvious she was avoiding an argument. She didn't want to make a scene in front of all their friends but they had to leave eventually. The night wound down and people began to filter out, Sara and Grissom approached him and he noticed the way Sara averted her gaze the second he acknowledged it. They had done something incredibly stupid and now the effects of the alcohol was beginning to vanish they both had to deal with the aftermath.

"Sorry Greg, I had a last minute meeting to go to" Grissom stated as he shook his hand.

"That's ok. You didn't miss much…. The orgy was a washout" he grinned, humor was his defense mechanism.

Grissom raised a sarcastic eyebrow in his direction and said his goodbyes; he headed off to speak with Brass leaving Greg and Sara alone. She swung her arms around his neck and whispered in his ear.

"Thank you… for not saying anything" she sent him a half smile as she pulled away, still avoiding his eye contact.

"Why would I say anything?" he asked "I do think we need to talk about this though…"

Sara's eyes took a quick scan of the room, spotting Grissom waiting for her by the door.

"Not now…" she muttered "soon"

With that she turned and joined her husband, disappearing out of sight with the rest of the guests. Caitlyn and Hodges were deep in a very drunken conversation on the other side of the roof. With a smile Greg guided Hodges to the stairs and called him a cab. Caitlyn was soon by his side waving him off.

"He's a funny guy" she declared, taking the stairs back to their apartment slowly.

"He's mean to everyone" Greg countered with an eye roll as he followed her up.

"He's misunderstood. You're just jealous!" she smiled, waiting for him to unlock the front door.

"Of Hodges? I don't think so" he steered her inside with a hand on the small of her back and she drew breath at the contact. He felt a strange mood settle between them as she quickened her step to get away from him "what's the matter?"

"Nothing" she muttered simply, heading straight to the window and gazing out at the night sky.

"It's not nothing Cait… talk to me. We can't keep ignoring this"

"...I saw the way you looked at Sara..." She responded flippantly walking ahead to him towards the living room.

"Looked at her?" Greg narrowed his eyes not fully understanding the argument they were having.

"That gooey eyed...thing... you do whenever she's around..." Cait accused; switching the television on simply so she wouldn't have to look him in the eye.

"I wasn't looking at her like that..." He rolled his eyes.

"I don't care Greg…" She sighed.

"You obviously do care...you wouldn't have brought it up if you didn't" Greg pointed out much to his girlfriend's irritation.

A part of her wondered why he had to be so dense- but it struck her that he wasn't a mind reader. He wouldn't know what she felt, what she thought until she said it. So with a sigh she looked at him with all the honesty she could muster.

"You're in love with her... I understand...I get it...Sometimes you just have feelings for someone that you can't explain and you make mistakes..." She shrugged her mind wandering to the man that was constantly forcing her to be unfaithful by simply just being. Cait glanced up at Greg attempting to force the memories of another man tracing patterns across her skin, his kisses and the sound of his voice muttering in her ear. "We all make mistakes…"

"What mistakes are you talking about?" Greg seemed to groan slightly- and it was more than obvious he was exhausted.

"It doesn't matter..." Cait glanced away realizing that confessing what she'd done would destroy everything she and Greg had built. As she saw the hurt in his eyes- she knew that she wasn't ready to lose him.

He fell asleep almost immediately but she lay in bed staring at the ceiling, every time she closed her eyes she saw Greg and Sara, every time she tried to drift off to sleep she heard Nick's heartfelt words fill her ears.

She was resigned to the thought that she may never sleep again.

Greg grunted in his sleep, his dreams clearly taking effect as he wrapped the sheets around him and turned in bed she watched him sleep for a few long moments. Watched his brow furrow and his hand clasp the sheets, a moan escaped his lips. It wasn't a frightened moan or a painful moan this was an erotic moan and she knew what was coming next. The same thing that had tortured her in this bed for days and sure enough a long drawn out groan followed by Sara's name escaped his throat. She couldn't do it anymore; it was too hard. She crept out of bed so she didn't wake him and tapped out a message to Nick.

"_Can I come over?"_

She slipped her jacket over her shoulders before she got her answer; she knew what it would be. It was clear that Greg had moved on from Tuesdays, maybe it was time she did too.


	18. Chapter 18

**a/n: thank you to those still reviewing! I appreciate the feedback. wonder if we can make it to 100? :o) hope you like this one - I'm going to slow down the updating since Sandle lost me a couple of readers so I'll update again on Friday. **

**love Charli xxx**

The sound of her knocking on the door seemed to echo off the walls. He had been expecting her of course; her text message still graced the screen of his phone. He hadn't been able to reply because while his heart told him to welcome her with open arms, his head told him she was using him.

the air was hot and sticky, it clung to his bare torso like a second skin as he sleepily shuffled across the room, there was no way of knowing exactly what he was going to find on the other side of this door. She could be there for any number of reasons and his tired brain wasn't in the mood for theorizing right now. He swung the door open and met her wide apologetic eyes, she wrung her hands together and shuffled on her feet, taking in his state of undress she quickly averted her gaze.

"Were you asleep?"

He took a step back, holding the door open for her to come inside. She hesitated for a second, tilting on her heels and looking back outside but whatever her conscience was wrestling with he must have won. She met his eye as she passed by him, loitering level with him so that he could feel her breath on his chest. He wanted to look away, he wanted to be mad at her and turn her out onto the streets. He wanted her to feel the hollowness that he felt whenever she walked away but he didn't have it in him.

"It doesn't matter, what do you want Caitlyn?"

"I… I don't know…" she sat gingerly on the edge of the couch all her concentration on her hands. He sighed as he pressed the door closed and moved across the room to sit beside her.

"I think you do…" he took her hand in his until she was forced to meet his eye "is there something going on between Greg and Sara?"

A flash of panic crossed her eyes and her brow furrowed as she looked around the apartment. He didn't really need to hear her answer. He may have had one too many cocktails and he may have been paying more attention to Caitlyn's movements than he really should have but he knew enough about Sara and Greg to know they had crossed a line tonight. He couldn't prove anything and there was every possibility he was reading it all wrong but he suspected that Sara and Greg's promiscuity went far beyond their dance floor antics.

"No... I think he would like there to be. I think maybe they both would"

She was shaking her head but her eyes betrayed her, she was filled with so much confusion, so much fear that he knew not to push her for any more answers. She wasn't there to be grilled she was there so that she didn't have to feel alone anymore and despite the fact that he knew she would still go home to Greg, he wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair as her tears moistened his chest.

Greg would never see her looking so broken, he would never know because she would let it all go here and paint on her smile before she went home to him. She would pretend it was ok; she wouldn't call him out on being unfaithful because she knew that she was doing the same thing.

"you could always leave him…" he threw the suggestion out as casually as he could manage, tried to pretend that it was a fleeting theory, that her response didn't really matter since he didn't really mean it but they both knew that wasn't true. She pulled away from him, her eyes wide with honesty, locking with his for a few long moments before she spoke.

"I … I couldn't" her hand still rested on his chest, the heat from her skin seeping through into his body and spreading all over him as she gently drew her hand across the muscles. she had such an unpredictable effect on him, he should have been easily able to get her out of his mind, he should have been able to turn her away at the door and called any number of women to meet him for a booty call. "It's… its Greg."

"He's cheating on you Caitlyn!" he pushed her body away from him; he needed to be free from her embrace if he was going to be discussing her relationship with another man tonight. She almost scurried to the other side of the couch, pressing herself into the corner of the cushions to avoid his outburst of anger.

"How is that any different from what we're doing?"

Her breath caught in her throat. He realized it may be the first time she had actually acknowledged they were doing anything. He had become her sordid little secret; Greg didn't even know they knew each other, that much was evident from his drunken attempt at introductions at his barbeque.

"Because they actually have feelings for each other Cait, theirs isn't all about sex"

He stood up and paced the room in an attempt to burn off some of the pent up frustration that seemed to be determined to make itself known tonight. He didn't mean to have an outburst like that, he didn't mean to upset her and he certainly didn't want to see that expression in her eyes. It was his job to take it away; he was the one she came to when she needed to feel wanted not the one who wanted too much from her.

"That's not fair…" she declared, standing up and attempting to soothe the situation.

"It's true though. Isn't it?"

For a second she hesitated, words falling silent on her lips.

"I should go Nick, I'm sorry I shouldn't have come to you"

She was running, from him, from the pressure he was putting on her and he realized he didn't want her to leave. He could pretend that he didn't care for as long as it took as long as she stayed with him just a little longer.

"No..." he said, clutching her arm as she tried to walk by him "I want you to stay, I won't push it I promise. I can't make you feel something you don't. Just let me help you forget"

He tilted her chin with his finger, gently drawing his thumb across her jaw and leaned in towards her. His lips covered hers and danced with them as the tension in her body seemed to evaporate and she relaxed into his arms. She didn't utter a word as he carefully steered her away from the door and into the bedroom. The tears had dried up, the sorrow was gone from her eyes and he was sure he detected something stronger than lust clouding her pupils as he laid her back on the bed.

His lips brushed against her skin and made her shiver. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. His hands stroking across the milky skin of her curves, his lips pressing against her neck and feeling the blood coursing through her veins, her body underneath his.

They didn't grasp at each other's bodies in desperation or find themselves totally consumed in their embrace, every movement, every kiss was deliberate and meaningful and they kept their eyes locked on each other the entire time, it was an entirely new experience that made his body react dramatically.

But he could tell her heart wasn't in it, she was wrestling with the burden of her conscience and she was submitting to him. she thought that was what he wanted but sex wasn't what either of them needed right now, instead he wrapped her in his arms and held onto her, his soft kisses brushing her skin and her sighs melting away into a restful sleep.

He had never woken up beside her before, she always vanished before the sun came up and he was left to emptiness on the other side of the bed. He would pretend not to see her leave, he would pretend he didn't notice the way she looked at him as she crept out of the room but he always did.

Today was different; she had stayed the entire night nestled in his arms. The dull sunlight filtered through the blinds and dappled her skin, her hair was tousled and tangled all over the pillow and he propped himself up on his elbow and watched her sleep. His fingers lightly traced patterns across the skin on her arm and roused her from her dreams.

"Morning" he smiled down at her as she squinted in the daylight.

"It's morning? I stayed the night?"

He had expected her to panic, to be consumed by fear that Greg would find out where she'd been and who she'd been with but as his hand rested on her stomach she stroked his arm gently and made no move to run away or go home.

"The whole night, and you didn't even burst into flames!"

She smiled and wound her arms around his neck, pulling him toward her to meet his lips with hers. Her long smooth legs brushed against his as they entwined under the covers, he pressed his body against her, surrendering completely to the passion of her kiss. He laced his fingers through hers and slid his hand down the length of her arm, following the sweep of her waist with a touch as light as a feather.

"I shouldn't have stayed" she whispered breathlessly as his kisses rained down on her neck.

"I know" he responded, the words merely vanishing on her skin.

"We shouldn't be doing this" she wound her legs around him, her hands grasping her shoulders as she met his eye. Her breath trembled as he pushed into her and met her lips, he could feel her heart racing in her chest while she gently traced her fingers across his collar bone.

Their bodies found their own rhythm; a light sheen of sweat crossed his skin as he held her close to him. It felt different making love to her when the sunlight peeked through the window, when he could see the emotion in her eyes and the shiver crossing her body. It was incredibly powerful to hold her eye that way, to brush his hand across her face as she tensed her muscles and to grasp her hand when she came undone. As she cried out and pressed her eyes closed her back arched and her hips tilted bringing him to the brink. He groaned into her neck, pulling her body against him as close as he could.

Nick lay back into his soft pillow's allowing his breathing to even out as she settled into the crook of his arm. His fingers absentmindedly traced patterns on the smooth skin of her back, the heat of their exertion still radiating from her body. Neither of them uttered a word, choosing instead to cling to each other as the reality of their situation sunk in. something different had been created between them, something they didn't need to put into words to make it real. She shifted her body to kiss him slowly but her cell phone started ringing in the living room, reminding them both that she really shouldn't be there at all.

"I bet that's Greg, what am I going to tell him?" the rising panic in her voice proving she wasn't ready for Greg to know about her betrayal just yet.

"You tell him you spent the night at a friend's" he unfolded himself from her embrace and left the bed "that's what you did, isn't it?"

"Nick…" he shook his head and left the room but she soon followed him, the thin sheet wrapped around her body. "I don't think it is"

"What are you talking about? Go home to Greg; he's probably looking for you"

She looked at her phone, the missed call flashing on the screen. It wasn't even from Greg; it was work probably trying to call her in on her day off again. She was in no shape to be working today, even breathing made her head hurt.

"It wasn't Greg; he probably hasn't even noticed I'm not there…"

"makes no difference to me Cait, or do you want to fall into bed with me again now you're off the hook?" he sat at the table with a mug of coffee and stared at yesterday's newspaper while she stood watching him, suddenly unsure of exactly what she should be doing right now.

"It's not like that…"

"Yes it is" he placed his mug on the table and met her eye, she looked like she was about to burst into tears again at any second. Her eyes dropped to the floor, the façade she had been trying to maintain was slipping fast, a lot faster than he thought it would "last night was different wasn't it?"

She nodded weakly; she hadn't wanted to acknowledge it. It seemed ridiculous, how not having sex could possibly be more meaningful than having it. She liked waking up with him; she liked sleeping in his arms soothed by the gentle rhythm of his breathing and his strong comforting arms around her. She liked making love in the sunlight without rushing every movement because she had to go home.

she realized that while she should be running back to Greg and begging for forgiveness that it was the last place in the world she wanted to be right now, it felt like she belonged right here where she was even if she was on the receiving end of a bitter, argumentative and probably hung-over Nick.

"I don't want to go home…"

A silence fell between them, their eyes meeting across the room.

"Why not? I thought you loved Greg" he muttered.

"I do! I really do, but… I don't think I love him the way I should anymore. I… I think I'm…" She moved to crouch in front of him; her body between his knees her hands resting on his thighs as she looked into his eyes. "It's so stupid."

"It's not stupid" He soothed.

"No it is, I'm so stupid. I should have stayed away from you. Now I've fallen for you and I'm going to lose you both…"

"You're not going to lose me...I promise..." He responded awkwardly not knowing how to word his feelings for her. Nick had always been a romantic, growing up his parents had always taught him to be a gentleman, to respect the women he was with but never had he realized that saying all of the things he was thinking would be so hard.

"You can't say that...you know what a mess we're in? Even if I did leave Greg we couldn't be together, not properly it just wouldn't work!" She sobbed quietly.

"You're right... it's complicated and it won't be easy but we can make it work. I'll make it work" He sounded sure of himself even though that was far from what he felt. They had built themselves a complex web of lies and betrayal, and he knew only well enough, it ended in hurt.

He dipped his head to kiss her; he was trying to convey a thousand promises in that kiss. It left her breathless, clutching his shoulders and waiting for more but her cell phone once again broke through the silence.

This time she didn't bother looking at the caller ID, she flipped it open, assuming it was work and answered with a trembling voice while he showered kisses across her jaw and down her neck but she soon pushed him away.

He knew it was Greg on the phone, even if he couldn't hear his friends cracked and tired voice on the other end he would know it was him by the expression on her face.

She stumbled over her excuses and tore herself from his embrace to pace the room. She was working through her nervous energy and rambling to Greg in an attempt to distract from his questions, Nick reached out a hand and stopped her pacing, he had to calm her down or she was at risk of revealing everything without really thinking it through. She met his eye as though she was pleading with him for inspiration or distraction so she could escape from the conversation but he couldn't offer her either. This was something she had to work through it on her own.

When she eventually did sign off her stress levels were very clearly through the roof. She rubbed a hand across her forehead and took a deep breath to steady her nerves as he pulled her against him.

"It'll be ok…"

"He sounds terrible Nick, I think he knows. I don't know why I thought he would believe I went out for a walk... I'll still be wearing my party clothes, it's raining outside… I didn't even take my keys. I'm not cut out for this!"

He silenced her rambling with his lips and hushed her into silence. "You need to calm down, walk home and talk to Greg; you'll do the right thing."

She wanted to protest, to turn back and curl up under the sheets with his body pressed against her again but she knew she had to face up to this, she had to fix it. With a nod she disappeared into the bedroom to take a lonely shower and put her clothes back on. With a deep breath she emerged into the living room and kissed Nick goodbye.

Nick watched her leave; he stood at his door as she disappeared into the rain and made her way the short distance to Greg's house. the rain falling from the heavens should have cleansed her, it should have offered her some clarity and direction but it didn't it just soaked through to her skin and made her feel even more dirty as she quietly knocked on the door and waited for Greg to answer.

He was on the phone when he did, a nod the only greeting he offered her as he swung the door open and vanished into his office. That was code for a work call, either that or he was chatting to Sara and he didn't want her to hear. under normal circumstances she would have given him his space and waited for him to come to her but she had spent the entire journey home building up the fragile confidence she needed to tell him everything and she needed more than anything to take advantage of it before it simply melted away into his eyes.

"Greg? … I know you're busy… I need to talk to you…" her voice while supposed to be courageous and in control faltered on her lips and fell like a whisper in the air.

She carefully swung the door open, her eyes falling onto a broken looking Greg with his head in his hands as he leaned heavily on the desk. An old photograph sat between his elbows, she recognized it without even looking properly as senior prom. While they had gone with different dates they had still somehow ended the night together and the official prom night photograph was one of them together smiling and happy, full of hopes and dreams and promises.

He really should have been making his way into work, a multiple homicide meant all hands on deck and no promises of being home in time to get any sleep before the beginning of next shift but something in that photograph had caught his breath and almost tore his heart in two. Back then he would have given his right arm to have been able to kiss Caitlyn, a year ago he was soaring high above cloud nine when they crossed the line of friendship and found each other all over again, and now he was avoiding her, he was sitting in his office so that he didn't have to look into her eyes. She would see his betrayal, she would taste it on his lips when she kissed him he was sure of it.

"Greg? Are you ok?"

He made a fatal mistake, he looked into her eyes. She looked so worried about him it almost hurt because he knew that when he finally got back from shift he was going to break her heart. He had to; it wasn't fair to string her along when he knew deep down his heart belonged to someone else.

He loved Caitlyn, an incredible amount but the passion had burned out and while their relationship began to smolder and die he had already surrendered his body and his heart to the raging inferno he had been desperately denying for many years. Sara had been forbidden for a long time, she had been the one person he told himself he could never have and now that he had had her, he only wanted more.

"I… I need to go to work but we… we need to talk… when I get back."

Caitlyn's mouth was suddenly as dry as the desert; the well-rehearsed speech she had prepared on the way home vanished from her brain as she desperately tried to form words. Nothing reached her lips; every word seemed to become dust and only contribute to the ashen feeling in her throat as he pulled himself from the desk and left the room. He still didn't meet her eye when he left; he didn't kiss her goodbye or promise to be home for dinner. He simply gathered his kit, swung his coat over his shoulders and left the apartment for work without as much as a backwards glance.

The dull light of the dreary day filtered in through the windows, the same windows she had spent almost every morning curled up beside with a book in her lap. The eclectic mix of paintings and prints and photographs that dotted the walls were now so familiar to her, she knew how it felt to sleep in his bed with his grumbles and groans accompanying his dreams, she knew the exact temperature the shower was set at or how long it took the toaster to make the perfect slice of toast. The emptiness of the apartment seemed to close in around her as she looked around at her surroundings knowing it could be the last time she would stand there and call it home.

Greg was coming home looking for an explanation but it seemed as though he had already accepted what was about to happen between them. It was becoming all too obvious that their relationship was already over.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I have mailed everyone I could to say thank you for the reviews but I wanted to thank you again :-)**

-ANN-you gave me my 100**th**** review *applause***

Merci to all you lovely people who offer support encouragement, guidance, criticism and friendship.  
much love  
Charli x

He tried to focus on the scene as best he could but he knew it didn't hold his full focus. His mind was swimming with conflicting emotions and so many questions. He really didn't know what he was supposed to do now; he had made a decision to leave Caitlyn because he knew it was the right thing to do. She deserved someone who thought of her and only her from the moment he woke to the moment he slept and that someone wasn't him. Not anymore. Greg had someone else on his mind a lot of the time, someone who had very obviously been avoiding eye contact with him since she arrived on site.

"Looks like this guy tried to get away" she commented, snapping a photograph and placing a yellow marker beside some bloody handprints. He watched the gentle concentration on her face, the way her brow furrowed slightly as she moved around the space left by the body with well-practiced scrutiny was so familiar to him, yet it was something that brought a smile to his face despite his depressive state of mind.

"What are you grinning at?" she asked, fighting the smile playing on her own lips.

"Nothing, um I was just thinking about last night…" he dropped his voice to almost a whisper and cleared the space between them, aware that Nick was working in the next room. He needn't have bothered bringing it up though because she clearly didn't want to discuss it. She cleared her throat and moved away from him.

"It… it was a good party" she moved her attention onto fingerprinting the window "Gil even said so"

The emphasis she put on using his first name was enough for him to know it was a warning and he realized that she wasn't going to acknowledge what had happened between them at all. She was going to sweep it under the carpet and lock it away in that impenetrable vault in her mind. Greg knew how hard it was to crack into her innermost thoughts; he knew all too well how good she was at burying things.

"I'm done in here" Nick called from the darkened room beside them "gonna take this stuff back to the lab…"

He loitered in the doorway but had clearly sensed the atmosphere, he shuffled his feet and met Greg's eye with a questioning glance. He was reluctant to leave them alone together, ironic possibly considering he was the one with a heavy conscience, but he felt incredibly protective of Caitlyn. More than anything else he didn't want her to be hurt and leaving Greg and Sara alone together could lead to that if he wasn't careful to make sure Greg was aware he was onto them.

"You coming?" He almost barked it despite his internal instruction telling him to remain calm.

Greg shrugged and glanced nervously back at Sara, he would be lying if he said he wasn't trying to buy them some time alone together.

"I'll catch a ride with Sara when we're done"

Nick regarded them both with a suspicious look before shaking his head and leaving the building. Greg had noticed his attitude changing towards him lately although he had no idea why, their usual easy going, fun relationship seemed to have slipped away.

"I think I'm done here" Sara stated in a matter of fact voice as she packed up her kit, still avoiding his eye "I'll wait in the car"

He watched her leave, watched the swing of her hips and the sweep of her hair. He couldn't help but remember the way her skin had tasted on his lips; it sent a shiver across his body as his eyes cast over the length of her legs all the way up to the crook of her neck. His breath caught in his throat when she turned to look at him before heading out of the door, there was hidden meaning in her eyes, he just wasn't sure exactly what the hidden meaning was.

He raced through the rest of his evidence and gathered his things before scurrying out to the car. He had to find a way to talk to her about what happened without backing her into a corner; he took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in his throat as he slipped into the passenger seat and she peeled out into the throng of cars without uttering a word.

"I hate traffic." Sara growled gripping hold of the steering wheel tighter as they drove back to the lab. She arched her back in her chair and cracked the window in attempts to save herself from heat stroke. Being trapped in a tin box in mid-day Nevada heat was not what she had hoped for that morning when she'd woken up.

"Don't we all?" Greg couldn't keep his eyes off her, as much as he'd tried not to stare. As Sara sighed moving her hips forward in her seat all he could think about was the way she had sighed, moaned and withered underneath him the night before. His every conscious memory and thought had been plagued by what had happened between the two of them.

"Sara..." He started slowly getting her attention.

"Yes?" She asked running her tongue over her lower lip, he silently cursed his filthy mind as he cleared his throat.

"Can we talk...about the other night?" Greg asked nervously not knowing how she would respond.

"What about it?" She quirked an eyebrow at him before turning back to the road moving the Denali forward into the space that had cleared up in front of them.

"What happened...between us..." He spoke slowly not wanting to scare her off the topic.

"Nothing...happened between us..." She responded sternly, pursing her lips.

"Sara...you can't just deny it... we had...amazing...mind-blowing...earth shattering sex...You can't just pretend it didn't happen." All self-control he had attempted failed as Sara pretended nothing had happened between them.

"Greg..." Her voice came meekly as she turned to him silently pleading. She'd made a mistake and she wasn't ready to talk about it that much was clear.

"Fine." Greg turned away from her, his eyes focused on the Vegas skies above them.

Once they finally managed to make it back to the Lab parking lot, neither one of them spoke taking their kits and evidence and disappearing in their separate directions. They avoided each other not knowing if they could face the consequences of what had happened.

Nick was in the layout room looking over the photographs they had collected with a deep concentration as Greg took the space beside him.

"What's up with Sara?" he asked dismissively as he rearranged the images to create a timeline of events.

"She's just… having some issues. You know how women are…" Greg tried to play down the tension between them knowing that Nick was a lot more aware than he would have liked.

"well they're just like us Greg, they just want to know where they stand" Nick met his eye making it clear that he was sending Greg a warning, apparently he and Caitlyn had hit it off at the party a lot more than he had thought. When he saw them together deep in conversation he had expected them to be discussing platonic subjects like holidays and the weather not the state of their relationship.

"Well, if they are like us, they should know that sometimes it's difficult to just come out and say things..." Greg said through gritted teeth.

"Yeah...maybe they should... Are Sara's issues with Grissom?" Nick asked as if he didn't know what was really happening.

"Well... if your wife treated you the way Grissom treats Sara wouldn't you have issues with it?" Greg raised an eyebrow, his protectiveness of Sara not slowing down even when they were suspected of having an affair.

"And how is that exactly?" Nick continued wanting to hear what Greg had to say.

"Letting her down...getting her hopes up all the time...putting everything before her" He spoke slowly not really knowing what to say. He was becoming all too aware that he was doing the same things to Caitlyn.

"We all do that sometimes without realizing it...don't we Greg?" Nick tried to sound causal but the accusatory tone still shone through.

"You know, I don't exactly see a string of successful relationships trailing at your heels Nick, I hardly think you're in the position to be questioning Sara's… or mine"

He shook his head, trying to dispel the negative tension building behind his eyes. It didn't work and Nick had closed the space between them the anger evident in his eyes and tensed neck muscles. The heat radiating from his body was almost suffocating as he stood toe to toe with him, he braced himself for impact, figuring he had crossed a line somewhere but Nick barely moved.

He stood there his teeth clenched together, his fists clamped into balls and he looked Greg right in the eye before muttering "you have no idea" and stepping away from the younger man with an exasperated sigh.

Greg groaned to himself; this conversation hadn't gone the way he had hoped, he was left feeling guilty and pensive as he retreated from the situation. It probably didn't help quash Nick's obvious suspicions but he wasn't in the right place to deal with accusations. He wasn't sure what was going on himself, there was no way he could feasibly deny anything. With a sense of exhaustion he made his way to the locker room- he began thinking about going home, about Cait waiting to hear what he had to say. Was he really going to break her heart like this?

Greg realized that he had to- it would have been wrong for him to keep stringing her along if he knew he was in love with someone else. Being alone was better than lying. As he opened the door to the locker room a familiar sob rang through his ears. Greg glanced up to see Sara hunched over on the bench, her head in her hands as she attempted to suppress the tears. He felt a lump build up in his throat; he cared so much for Sara it hurt.

Closing the door as quietly as he could behind him Greg moved to sit beside Sara. He began gently rubbing circles on her back until she acknowledged his presence. She glanced up at him her eyes red rimmed, her expression clearly devastated. Without a word she wrapped her arms around his neck closing the gap between them sobbing into his chest, her body shaking with the misery.

"Shh...It's going to be okay..." He muttered into her hair, holding her as tightly as he could.

"I've lost him Greg..." She said in a muffled voice.

"I'm sure you haven't...he'd be an idiot to let you go..." Greg assured her feeling an odd sense of anger towards Grissom for upsetting her.

"I've screwed up Greg...he doesn't love me any more..." She continued the self-deprecating ramblings into his neck.

"Sara look at me..." Greg whispered softly. Moving slowly Sara looked up at him helplessly.

"Things are going to be just fine...I promise you...and even by the off chance if they're not- I'm here for you. No matter what you need...I'll always be here..." He spoke softly placing his hands on her jaw making her look up at him. Sara nodded as Greg wiped a tear away his fingertips brushing over her skin like silk.

"He's gone. He took some job …" she gasped, struggling to get the words out like she wanted "he didn't even talk to me about it Greg"

"I'm sure he doesn't know it upsets you" it didn't feel right, defending Grissom to her when all he really wanted to do was make her see things from his point of view. He wanted her to see him the way he saw him; the selfish, inconsiderate man that he saw. He wanted Sara to see what he was doing to her and to see the beautiful, enigmatic woman he was destroying. Somewhere deep down he knew she would never see Grissom that way, he would always be something special in her eyes, he would always win her back somehow.

"Come on" he said taking her hand and pulling her to a standing position "I'll take you to dinner, we'll go to that new place on Sahara you were talking about last night…"

Sara followed him out of the building, still clutching his hand. At that point she didn't care who saw, she didn't care about the gossiping and the inevitable stories that would swarm around the lab like a plague of locusts, the only thing going through her mind right now was that Greg was saving her.

Greg was always saving her.

The restaurant he took her to had been opened for 3 months and received rave reviews from everyone who ate there. The smell of salt and spices hit them immediately as they strode through the huge ornate red doors. It was like stepping into Thailand. The restaurant had been top of Sara and Greg's 'to do' list for weeks. It had opened in a flurry of publicity earlier that month and since the initial excitement of the place had died down it was still heaving with people waiting for a table. The maître de advised them of the 45 minute wait and handed them a tiny number before pointing them in the direction of the bar.

Greg surveyed their surroundings with approval. The decorative paneled walls and golden Buddha statues dotted around gave the place a real authentic feel.

"Did you know that all men in Thailand are expected to become a monk at some stage in their lives?" Greg stated very matter of factly as he sipped his drink. Sara turned to look at him with a surprised expression.

"You've been to Thailand?" she queried, her eyes firmly fixed on his and a smile tugging at her lips. She searched the back catalogue of her mind for conversations that could have suggested he had done, it wouldn't necessarily surprise her. Greg was surprisingly cultured.

He suddenly wished he had been to Thailand, that he could tell her tales of elephant riding and relaxing on the golden beaches. He couldn't even use a bit of poetic license and claim he had been either, Sara knew everything about him. He could picture her eye roll already.

"No, I read it off the coaster" he grinned, twirling it around between his fingers. She was reaching over the table for the other coaster, turning it over and reading the short passage.

"Did you know the Thai people sell their version of Viagra in glass bottles on the street and it is made from dead animals" she smiled at him, directly at him her eyes dancing over his "talk about a mood killer?"

"The favorite roadside snack of the Thai people is Jing Leed – a cricket cooked in golden mountain sauce" Greg scoffed "sounds delicious huh?"

"Grissom would approve" Sara stated a little sadly. Sara had intended to save this place for Grissom's visit; they were supposed to have been eating there before the barbeque.

The easy conversation had returned between them, the sorrow slipped away from her eyes and she regained that sparkle and that sharp tongue he always seemed to end up on the receiving end of.

He had almost forgotten all about the other people in their lives by the time the bill arrived, glancing at the time on the cheque he was suddenly gripped by an overwhelming guilt as he realized he had disappeared for most of the day and night without even texting Caitlyn to let her know he was going to be late. She was probably waiting for him. Worrying about what he had to say. He could picture the raw broken skin around her fingernails and the redness tainting the corners of her eyes, he could see her wringing a cloth in her hands after almost certainly spending the day furiously cleaning the already glistening apartment. He had seen her like that a lot of times; he hated being the cause of it.

Sara paid, she made a point of it brandishing Grissom's credit card with a cheeky smile and they left the restaurant together. The night air was fresh and crisp, headlights whizzed past them heading in and out of town, everyone lost in their own dramas. The sky was dancing with stars and the soft breeze made the thin branches of the nearby trees twist and rustle beside them. They stood side by side pondering their predicament, neither of them very sure of the etiquette used in these situations.

"I'll drive you home" Greg sighed when he was sure she wasn't going to break the heavy silence between them. The lack of clarity between them was beginning to irritate him. Sara just nodded and headed towards his car leaving him standing there wrestling with the emptiness she left behind. This time he wasn't sure he could just let her go. He wasn't sure he had the strength of character to watch her put herself through this anymore.

"Thank you" she muttered when he slipped into the driver seat. "For… everything"

Greg nodded, sensing she had more she wanted to say that she was struggling with. He kept his eyes on the road; it was easier for Sara to open up when he pretended to ignore her. Over the years he had come to understand that Sara feared judgment. Eye contact made her retreat into her shell, indifference always brought out the truth.

"Last night was…" she glanced over at him nervously "well it really was mind blowing wasn't it?"

Whether it was typical male ego or sheer shock at hearing her acknowledge their roof-top antics but he nearly collided with the crash barrier as he turned to face her embarrassed smile. He clumsily steered back in line with the traffic to a symphony of horns and insults.

"This is why I always drive Greg!"

"No, you drive because you like the power" he quipped with a sideways glance.

"I don't need a steering wheel to have power over men Greg" her lusty voice always sent his senses into overdrive, he could feel himself reacting despite his internal voice screaming at him to exercise control. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying to adjust his jeans without making it obvious but Sara was a trained observer and she made no secret of noticing his discomfort.

He pulled into the driveway much the same way he had done time and time again but the tension between them settled heavily around the car. It was strange how merely sitting with her could make his heart race. Sara's eyes scanned the building with a sadness he found almost painful.

"The lights are all off…" she didn't expect a response it was merely an observation she vocalized. "Will you come in with me… please?"

Greg killed the engine and followed her inside the house. It felt incredibly forbidden, standing there inside their space when he couldn't stop thinking about how her skin felt under his lips. The second they were through the door he found her lips on his and her arms wrapped around him. He collided heavily with the wall as she pressed her body against him breathlessly.

"Let's do it again" she growled, her fingers already working on the buttons of his shirt. "Just once more…"

For a second he had completely surrendered to her, his hands slipped under her blouse and stroked the skin of her back. He gave everything to their kiss, every bit of emotion and lust and suppressed sexual tension poured out; every niggling concern was lost on her lips.

"Sara..." he half-heartedly murmured against her mouth but she took no notice, his shirt fell to the floor in a crumpled heap and she hungrily drew her hands across the exposed skin of his chest. It made his breath shudder in his chest as he sought out her eye contact and spoke her name more firmly "Sara…"

She pulled away to meet his eye, the lust filling her pupils as she heaved breath into her chest. There was also a desperation he could sense, she needed justification, she needed to be close to him to feel alive but he couldn't do it. He couldn't take advantage of her fragile state of mind and he couldn't betray Caitlyn. Not this time, alcohol had clouded his judgment before but he had no such excuse this time. He was fully sober and fully in control of his body and mind, as much as he could be when he was near Sara.

"Sara I … I can't …"

She looked angry for a second but his turmoil must have shone in his eyes because a slow understanding shadowed the lust and she stepped away from him.

"Caitlyn..." she nodded sadly as she sat on the couch and stared at her hands.

"Sara…I'll come back" he offered in an attempt at cheering her up "I just need to do this, she deserves that much"

"Do what you need to do Greg" she tried to muster a smile but it faltered on her lips "I'll be here, I always am."

He felt the weight of his burdens land heavily on his shoulders. He didn't want to leave her, not when she felt so vulnerable and abandoned but if he wanted to be with her, _really _with her then there was a very good reason for him to be heading home. He couldn't give everything to Sara while Caitlyn waited for him at home; he couldn't let her have his heart and his soul when Caitlyn still claimed ownership.

Even more important than that was that he could give Sara the space to work through her own turmoil, he needed to be sure that she knew what she was doing. This time it couldn't be about seeking solace in someone else, it couldn't be just about sex.

This time it had to be more than that, they were both giving up too much.


	20. Chapter 20

Caitlyn was asleep when he got home. The only light in the room from the small lamp by the open window casting haunting shadow's across her sleeping face, the breeze slowly capturing her hair and making it dance around her. She was curled in a corner of the couch with a tear stained pillow under her head. He tried not to jingle his keys too loud as he unlocked the door, he didn't switch on the light, he did everything he could not to wake her so that he could steel his thoughts before he had to look into her eyes.

Somehow despite his best attempts at being quiet and invisible he managed to clatter into the room and collide with the coat stand. He grumbled that it had moved and secretly sabotaged him as he righted himself and looked over at the couch like a deer caught in the headlights. She was peering over at him with a smile tinged with so much sadness he could almost feel it. This was going to be harder than he thought.

"You're home…" she yawned, stretching her legs out in front of her and arching her back as he continued to wrestle with the coat stand.

"Yeah… I … I had something to take care of first…."

She averted her gaze; she knew the 'something' he had to take care of was Sara. Nick had left work an entire 3 hours before Greg got home, she knew because he made a point of telling her he was at home.

"Sara..." She muttered having a strange feeling that she knew where this conversation was heading. She nervously picked at her fingernails, not daring to make eye contact with Greg in case that made it hurt more.

"Yeah..." Greg bowed his head slightly with guilt. "She had a fight with Grissom and he left without saying anything..."

"I see..." Cait understood Sara's predicament, but as much as she wanted to sympathize with her all she could feel was a small sense of anger at how she seemed to have Greg wrapped around her little finger.

"Cait...we...need to talk." He sat himself down opposite her, his hazel eyes filled with conflicting emotions.

"I know..." She pulled herself up right, tucking her hair behind her ears. As much as she knew what was happening was for the best it still seemed to hurt. Cait wondered if she had just let her feelings for Greg as a friend get clouded- perhaps if she'd thought what she was feeling for him through they wouldn't be in this mess.

"I...I'm not being fair on you..." Greg's self-deprecating mannerism hurt because she knew deep down she'd hurt him in ways neither of them would understand. "I...can't say I'm not in love with Sara...and as much as I want to...as much as I want to make this work... I'd be lying...I don't want to lie to you Cait...I don't want to hurt you."

She tried to fight back the tears that were in her eyes and form words but her lip quivered as the reality of their situation began to sink in.

"Greg… I…" she had debated many times whether telling him about Nick was the best thing to do. Hearing him blame himself for all the shortcomings in their relationship brought it home to her how much her own insecurities and infidelity had damaged them. "I've been horrible…"

"No… no you haven't. If you were then this would be easy"

He took her hands into his, watching the way they nestled so easily in his palms. A few months ago he would have claimed it was because they were made for each other, that they fit together so easily but now it just filled him with sadness. He might never hold her hands like this again. Caitlyn was a runner. There was no point in saying they could still be friends, as soon as their conversation was over Caitlyn would disappear, there was every possibility he'd never see her again.

"I never thought it would end this way for us… not for us" the tears she had been gallantly fighting fell heavily as he wrapped her in his arms in an attempt to comfort her. He did love her; he couldn't deny the way his heart responded to her or the pain he felt when he watched her tears fall. But Sara was proving to be too irresistible and in the same breath he knew he couldn't cheat on Caitlyn, he wasn't that guy; he didn't have deceit in him.

"I'm so sorry Cait" he whispered into her hair as she clung to him tightly. She shook her head as she burrowed into his neck, her grip on him tightening slightly so that he was pressed against her. She slipped from the couch and kneeled in front of him, her body between his legs as she pulled away from him and stroked his face.

"I'm sorry too" she kissed his bottom lip gently, not expecting any reciprocation but his lips parted and returned her caress. They sunk into an emotionally charged embrace that left them breathless, in a way they both wanted things to be different but reality has a way of changing your life in ways you don't expect, in ways you don't often welcome.

"Cait…" he muttered as her hands drew across his chest and her lips danced on his neck. He could so easily surrender to her. He could take her to his bed and worship her body the way he had done many times before. He could let her pretend everything was ok, that they could be together again but none of that was true. He had to do the right thing. "Cait… no"

He gently pushed her away; the air between their bodies was as cold as ice a shiver covering his body as he looked into her broken eyes.

"Please Greg… let me try" her voice was weak and quiet, a shadow of the boisterous, feisty party girl she painted herself to be. He knew better than anyone how close to the surface her emotions really lay, he knew every one of her masks and how to get past them. He knew how much she was hurting.

"Cait… I can't" She searched his eyes for a glimmer of the emotion she had seen from him before but she was well aware it was too late, they had both moved on. With a defeated nod she unwrapped her arms from around him and stood on trembling legs.

"I'll…get my stuff, I guess…" she took a deep breath and moved away from him, confusion registering in her eyes as she faltered on her path suddenly unsure of where she was going.

"You don't have to leave Cait, I … I know it's hard but we still have a spare room… just until you find something…"

She looked at him like she was offended and he wondered if he had said something wrong. He was just trying to do the right thing and make this as easy as it could be.

"I'll find somewhere tonight. It's fine"

She moved quickly into the bedroom and he found himself following her. She had thrown a bag onto the bed and was haphazardly throwing clothes into it. Almost every item that flew past him held one memory or another; whether it was a romantic meal together or a movie night on the couch he watched her throwing them around like they were rags as she got ready to leave him. _Really _leave him.

"Where will you go?" he asked sheepishly, taking the latest item of clothing and folding it carefully.

"Don't worry about me" she stumbled over her sentence as sobs began to overwhelm her.

"But I do worry about you" he enveloped her in his arms, inhaled the rich scent of her hair and felt the warmth of her body in his arms "I'll always worry about you"

"Don't do that!" she begged, untangling herself from his arms. "Don't … don't be nice to me…"

She twisted out of his embrace in an almost violent fashion and grabbed her half-filled bag with a dramatic flourish. Half the contents spilled out on the floor as she made a brash retreat, she was running just like he thought.

"Cait… you dropped half your things…" he held up a pale blue blouse that caught in the wind and fluttered around his face as he ran after her and she paused in the doorway with one last lingering look.

"I'll come round when you're at work to get the rest. I… I need to go" with a trembling breath she opened the door and stepped into the hallway "guess I'll see you around"

She was genuinely surprised to find herself feeling so broken hearted. She had been detaching from Greg for a long time, she had been seeking solace in the arms of another man and stopped picturing a future with Greg in it, yet the reality of their separation cast a heavy sorrow over her as she slid into her car with her half empty, gaping open bag. She slipped the remnants of clothes inside and zipped it together without even knowing if there was anything actually wearable inside.

Even a relationship in stasis still left scars across a heart and she could feel them now as though a razor had been viscously sliced across her chest. It made it hard to breathe, the window steamed up with her ragged breath and her eyes were blurry from the tears but she knew she had to leave. She pressed her head against the steering wheel and silently told herself to snap out of it. Greg would be there in the garage in a matter of minutes, she knew he would be going back to Sara; she wasn't naïve of his motives. She admired him for choosing not to deceive her.

So the fog was cleared from the windows, the tears wiped from her eyes and breath heaved into her chest as she turned up the radio and told herself that she was ok. She pulled out of the garage and drove to the only other place in Vegas she knew she could count on a strong embrace and an understanding set of eyes. He might not want to hear of her heartbreak at losing Greg but she was sure he could help her remember what it felt like to be loved.

Nick's apartment had become so familiar to her recently. She knew the code for the secure entry gate, she knew the concierge at the front door and most of his neighbors. It was almost more of a home to her than Greg's was. Greg's building was filled with young professionals who didn't place a lot of emphasis on getting to know their neighbors, it suited Greg's lifestyle in that he didn't ever get complaints about having visitors at all hours of the night or rooftop barbeques whenever the mood took him but Nick's building was something different entirely. It was mostly reserved for elderly couples and retired cops; a spattering of younger people dotted around but most were the quiet type that didn't say very much when they rolled past them in a drunken state.

"Hi Carl, Nick home?" she smiled weakly at the man behind the desk as he waved her though the doors with a tilt of his coffee.

"Should be, he's not snuck out on my shift" he immediately went back to watching re-runs of Kojac with a family sized bag of chips. A more upmarket building would have fired him for his lackadaisical attitude but for this eclectic group of people he was the perfect person for the job.

She knocked his door with a racing heart, it felt different this time. She wasn't planning on throwing herself on him the second he appeared at the door or pretending they were just friends in the coffee shop like they had done every week for countless months. Now was the time to be honest and the prospect was terrifying.

His eyes lit up when he saw her, the same way they always did and she felt tears welling up behind her eyes again. A firm bite on her lower lip soon suppressed her out of control emotions as she stepped into the living room and found that her throat was dry and her head light. The room started to spin and she couldn't seem to focus on him, or the floor or ... anything really. It blurred out of focus and she felt the floor give way underneath her as she crashed onto the hard wooden floors and found blackness.

"Cait… Caitlyn, can you hear me? … I'm going to call a doctor"

Nicks voice sounded so far away, but her eyes slowly opened and brought him into focus. The gentle sweep of his dark hair, the laughter lines around his deeply concerned brown eyes, his smile when he saw she was conscious.

"No… I'm ok.." she tried to sit up, a little too quickly perhaps as the rush of blood washed over her head again and she had to press her eyes closed to control it. Her head found the softness of the cushion's on the couch and she realised he had moved her from her landing place on the pressed a glass into her hand, ice jingling off the cold glass as they swam in the water.

"When did you last eat Cait?" he asked handing her a cookie and taking the space beside her on the couch.

"I don't know… the barbeque I guess?" not that she could remember when the barbeque actually was, time seemed to have blurred and warped into one long stretch of bad decisions.

"Ok, I'll make you something. Stay put and drink" he ordered as he made his way into the kitchen. She nodded but she had no intention of just sitting there, she had to be close to someone right now. Her legs felt weak and her head was still spinning as she wobbled her way to the kitchen, perching on a stool as she watched him work between the stove and the fridge looking completely out of place in a kitchen. Nick regarded her with a raised eyebrow and an exasperated smile "I thought I told you to stay put?"

"He left me Nick…" she whispered into her glass as though she was afraid of the words. Vocalizing them didn't make them easier to hear, it didn't make it seem more real she still felt like she was swimming underwater, against the tide.

Nick paused and stared at her, he didn't really know what to say. He had thought through this scenario in his mind before, the one where Caitlyn was free to disappear into the sunset with him but in his fantasies it had been infinitely more romantic and emotionally charged. Never in his fantasy had she turned up to his door, fainted and then soaked her ice cubes with her warm tears as she uttered those words to him.

"I don't know why I'm so sad… I was going to break up with him anyway… why does it hurt so much?"

His instincts kicked in out of the blue. Her words weren't what he wanted to hear but she needed him, that much was clear. He crossed the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her, she wasn't overwhelmed by sobs, her body didn't shudder and buckle with the weight of the sorrow but neither did she pull away from his chest. She clung to him, to the closeness and the physicality of his body against hers as his hands stroked her hair and made tiny circles on the base of her spine.

"you loved him…of course it hurts" he hated having to comfort her for this, he hated that he couldn't wrap her up and take her to his bed because she had a smile on her face and that flirty grin on her lips. Instead she had come to him broken and exhausted, probably with nowhere else to go.

"You don't cheat on someone you love… Greg taught me that much. I've been so unfair to him; it's no wonder he had to leave. I must be poison Nick, everything I touch withers and dies. Everything leaves me"

"I'm not leaving you…" he caught her eye in a moment that made the entire world pause around him. Her demeanor had changed from sorrow to anger and then love in mere minutes; he was finding it hard to keep up. "I am feeding you though, before you pass out again!"

He kissed her lightly on her forehead and turned back to his cooking simply leaving her staring after him in silence. It didn't take him long to throw together a frittata with a bit of everything in it. It was always his mother's fix everything meal, he remembered her feeding it to her sisters when they had sat in the kitchen crying over boys and life in general. He had always found sport to be therapeutic; whenever he had something on his mind as a kid he would shoot some hoops at the back of the house, now he ran. In the middle of the night, in the rain and in the sweltering head of the midday sun he would just run to wherever his feet took him and all his pent up emotions were spent. He was running a lot lately.

Caitlyn daintily spooned the meal into her mouth as he watched her stare out of the window; she had a lot on her mind, that much was clear.

"we can go for a walk when you've finished if you like" she met his eye, scanning his face as though she was trying to read his thought process "it's therapeutic I promise"

The soft smile and coy glance though her hair suggested she agreed as she finished off the last of the food and washed her plate immediately.

"Lead the way…" she said with a cracked, dry voice.

Nick held out his folded arm and she slipped hers through, her hand resting on his lower arm above his wrist as they stepped outside. The fresh breeze suddenly felt invigorating on her skin, her dress billowing around her knees and her hair dancing behind her. They wandered around the park, arm in arm watching children run back and forth and people chasing their wayward dogs. Every now and then they would pass a couple just like them, lost in their quiet lover's conversation as they strolled side by side oblivious to the rest of the world.

When they finally returned to the apartment the heaviness from before was gone. As he hooked the latch on the door and slipped his jacket off his shoulders he found her standing in his arms, her hand gently caressing his face as her lips met his. He didn't resist the urge to melt into the softness of her kiss; he simply held her close and responded to his desires. He wanted to make her forget all about Greg and see only him, he wanted to make her love him the way he loved her.

"I love you Cait" he whispered in her ear.

She shivered when his lips danced on her neck and took his hand into hers to lead him into the bedroom. As she slipped her dress from her shoulders he slid his hands gently over her soft skin. He caressed her neck with his lips and danced his fingertips along her spine; she trembled with his touch as he carefully laid her back on the bed. She watched him cover her body with feathery touches and gentle kisses, the tenderness and awe expressed in his movements left her hypnotized.

"Nicky?" she wanted to say something, felt like she should clarify their situation before he continued but he hushed her protests with his breath against her stomach, his hand moving up her inner thigh at a maddeningly slow pace. A sigh escaped her mouth in response and she twisted her hips towards him involuntarily making him smile against her skin.

He moved his body level to hers and kissed her lips again his hand snaking across her abdomen and carefully sliding under the lace fabric of her bra. She bit her lip and tensed her body, her arms clasping around his neck as the intimate nature of his caress made her heart race. His fingers lightly brushed her nipple making her gasp as his lips danced across her neck once more, dipping lower until he ran his tongue through the valley of her breasts and breathed his ice cold breath on the trail.

"Nick..." she begged with ragged breath, she needed him to do more than just whisper over her skin. Her hands reached out for him but he pushed her away with a shake of his head and a wicked glint in his eye as he dipped inside her panties and smiled at the shriek of surprise.

"What do you want Cait?" he growled into her neck as his hand hovered above her, trembling like a hummingbird over a flower. Her hand tangled in his hair, pulling him closer to her body.

"I want you to touch me" she breathed, running her nails across his shoulders.

"I am touching you…" he grinned as he watched her wrestling with her arousal as he continued to tease her. She pulled him back to her, meeting his lips with desperate passion and tearing the shirt from his body.

"Make love to me Nick… right now. I need you…" his own breath shuddered at her lustful words and he dipped his fingers inside her, enjoying the gasping moan that escaped her lips as she arched her back against him and pressed her eyes closed. He devoured her neck with his mouth and tongue as he created a slow, frustrating rhythm with his fingers. Her body shook and trembled against him and he dipped lower and lower discarding her panties as his tongue snaked its way past her belly button and danced over her. Her hand gripped the sheets as she fought against her tightening muscles and bucked her hips against his mouth. He relished having full control; he could tease her so easily. His tongue stroking against her gently at first until she was begging him to stop, only he didn't. He plunged two fingers inside and matched his rhythm with the movement of his tongue until her cries echoed off the walls when he finally sent her over the edge.

She steadied her breathing as he wrapped her in his arms. Satisfied with his victory over her as she drew patterns across his chest with her nails, Caitlyn's lips covered his, she always tasted so sweet once was never enough. His hands grasped her waist and pressed her body against him, the tightening's in his groin impossible to ignore. She didn't ignore it either; she swung her leg across him and tackled his belt and jeans quickly and efficiently.

She had planned on teasing him just like he had done to her, she wanted him to be writhing under her touch and aching for her but when she dipped her head to meet his lips he placed his hands on her hips and entered her slowly with a low growl into her hair. The teasing was over she scratched her nails across his chest as she pulled her body to a kneeling position and made circles with her hips. His hands stroked across her skin again, lightly brushing her nipples and abdomen as she fell into a rhythm against him her hips twisting back and forth. Soon his hands rested on her hips again, guiding her movements harder and faster until she withered in his arms, her hair falling across her face as she called out his name and gasped into his chest. Her muscles clamped around him over and over again and he spilled over the edge himself holding her body as close as he could.

"I don't ever want you to leave Cait…" he breathed into her soft hair as she wrapped herself around him and nuzzled his neck.

"I won't…" she whispered knowing full well that he would wake up to an empty bed. She had decided she was the problem with all her past relationships, she was the poison and she didn't want to ruin Nick like she did everything else.


	21. Chapter 21

Greg could never be accused of being unromantic but when it came to Sara he simply didn't know what would constitute a romantic gift. He wasn't sure exactly what they were creating yet, to call it a relationship was maybe a bit presumptuous but showing up empty handed simply wouldn't do. Caitlyn on the other hand was a lot easier to please; a bunch of flowers would have warranted a beaming smile and a hug from her where Sara would claim they should have been left in the ground to get on with their lives. It was too soon for underwear or jewelry and chocolates seemed a little stale. In the end he decided to try and keep his gift as platonic as possible and turned up to her door brandishing a box of cupcakes and two hot mugs of coffee.

She let him in without meeting his eye, quickly perching on the edge of the couch as he passed her a mug and she declined a cupcake. Nothing had changed since he left her. The blinds were still firmly closed refusing to let even a bead of light pass through, the empty wooden floor making his footsteps echo off the walls. It was as though time hadn't passed at all in the condo and yet the atmosphere had changed dramatically. She wasn't begging him to take her to bed anymore, she wasn't withering in his arms, she was seated there watching him wrestling with turmoil and the burden of conscience.

He wasn't sure how he thought this would go, there were no books to guide you through committing adultery. He was sure if he looked hard enough he could probably find more than a few websites to that effect but time hadn't really been on his side lately, it seemed to slip through his fingers at an alarming rate leaving him with no choice but to seize the moment.

"I … I left her" he whispered to the room as he studied a photograph on the wall. A mountainous landscape he imagined was somewhere exotic and exciting. Somewhere she had been with her husband. He turned around slowly to catch her eye, she had been watching him while he paced and tried to think of the right words.

"You did the right thing… you're… you're braver than me Greg" she removed her eye contact and stared at her fingernails as she absentmindedly picked at them with trembling hands. Now Greg had another decision to make, it was clear she wasn't intending to leave Grissom. As much as she had claimed to rubbish the idea of monogamy years ago he knew that she hadn't signed those papers without having the intention of honoring her vows. 'Forsaking all others' was probably twirling around her head as his presence in the room somehow assumed a huge magnitude.

"You could do it too… no-one would ever need to know…" he took her hands into his and forced her to meet his eye.

"I would know…" her eyes glistened with tears as her lips quivered and she swung her arms around his neck. Her forehead pressed against his, their breath mingling in the air as she took short trembling breaths.

"Sara…" he whispered, the words evaporating onto her lips. He wanted to be sure she knew what she was doing; she had to know that this meant something. To him at least.

She interrupted him with an incredibly tender, emotional kiss. The sincerity in her embrace made his heart thud in his chest like the wings of a dove and he realized that even if she didn't know the connotations of their passion there was absolutely nothing he could do. He was completely powerless against her.

While his hands gently stroked circles on her back she carefully unfastened each button on his shirt, meeting his eye with darkened pupils filled with emotion. She didn't have to speak to communicate just what was going on, Sara was skilled at non-verbal communication. It was probably how she had managed to keep her relationship with Grissom going so long without anyone knowing.

She trembled under his touch; shiver's waving over her body as he grazed her silky skin with his fingertips. He could taste the sweetness of her lips before he closed the space between them, he could feel the warmth of her body as he wrapped her in his embrace. She sunk into his arms, all the tension in her body melting away in an instant while their lips danced over each other gently at first but something changed, quickly and without warning. Suddenly they were overcome with passion and lust and their kiss deepened.

His shirt was thrown to the floor in a crumpled heap as though it was burning his skin. The soft fabric of Sara's blouse seemed to fall away from her body with the slightest touch revealing miles of porcelain skin in sharp contrast to the deep purple silk bra concealing her breasts.

Greg pressed his body against her and she wielded to him, lying back against the couch without their lips breaking contact and he let his mouth glide across her skin. The gentle sweep of her jaw, the graceful arch of her neck and the sharpness of her collar bone, bracing against her skin as she writhed in anticipation. She was almost glowing, the soft sheen of desire painted across her skin as her breath shuddered in her chest and he pressed his mouth against hers again, his fingers carefully stroking the silk bra away. He paused to drink in the beauty of the woman before him; he had thought he would never be in the position to tease her. he couldn't have imagined being the one in control, the one who made her melt and tremble with just the touch of his fingers or the heat of his lips.

Yet here she was begging him to take her to the edge, pleading with him to finally, finally let her surrender to him completely. Her perfect lips parting in ecstasy, those deep dark eyes connecting with him and sharing a thousand secrets and promises. Her hands stroked his bare chest, carefully, slowly taking in every detail of his flushed skin.

He dipped down to draw his tongue slowly across her chest, loitering in the valley between her breasts as she twisted under him. He was enjoying the power, he had such control it made his whole body shake in time with his thundering heart as he drew his fingers over her breasts and received a gasp in return.

He smiled against her skin as her hand tangled through his hair, he had her right where he wanted her and he took great pleasure in trailing the long slow path down her body with his tongue. His breath brushed against her stomach and her grip on his hair tightened as he dipped even lower, discarding her pants and underwear with one fell sweep.

Her hands clenched into fists on the edge of the couch as her hips bucked involuntarily against his mouth and his tongue stroked a torturous rhythm against her. His whole body seemed to be gripped by desire; the shocked gasps from her mouth seemed to envelop his entire being until he was sure he would explode if he didn't do something about it.

"Sara..." he groaned against her thigh as he propped himself up and met her eye. She simply nodded and wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer to her body and devouring his lips with feverish desperation. His teasing had worked exactly the way he had planned.

He entered her as slowly as he could bear, watching entranced as she arched her back and clenched her muscles around him. She gripped his arms tightly, tensing her body against his thrusts and fighting the moans bubbling deep down in her stomach.

His hands gripped the couch, grasping for control because it couldn't happen yet, he couldn't lose himself yet. Not until he could claim victory over her, not until she surrendered and called out his name as passion took over her body. Her hands braced against his chest as she rocked against him.

She shuddered and trembled as his name escaped into the room, her muscles clenching around him over and over until he had no choice but to surrender to his own climax and wither into her arms. The look in her eyes when he held her gaze was incredibly powerful, she looked right into his soul and pulled such honesty from his lips he couldn't bear to suppress them.

"I love you Sara…" he tried to whisper, tried to express it quietly enough for her not to acknowledge it but it was no use. His breath was still staggered and out of control, his body was still throbbing from their lovemaking, his brain was still swimming with emotion so the words made themselves known before he could stop them.

He felt her tense as he repositioned himself beside her, he couldn't bear to meet her eye. He knew she would be struggling to find the words to let him down gently. To tell him this wasn't about love at all, it was about something else entirely. So he wrapped his arm around her and kissed her soft hair.

"I'm sorry, forget I said anything…" he muttered with a sigh.

Sara paused for a few long moments before turning to face him. Her hand reached out to him, stroking his face gently and meeting his lips with her own.

"No Greg… I… I think I love you too"

He could see the tears stinging at her eyes, the burden of her confession clearly tormenting her. So he pulled her closer, trying to absorb her doubts and fears before they overwhelmed her.

"What are we going to do?" she whispered, her eyes firmly fixed on their intertwined fingers.

He didn't know what to tell her. This was her decision to make, he'd already taken a huge step in ending his relationship with Caitlyn, he'd already taken a leap of faith on her but he wasn't entirely convinced she was ready to do the same for him. She had a lot more invested in her relationship with Grissom. She had almost a lifetime of memories, a marriage and a vow. It was never going to be a simple case of saying goodbye.

"Personally, I think we should call a pizza…"

He grinned down at her and reached over for his phone as she playfully slapped his chest.

"That's not what I meant Greg!" she laughed.

"I know" he said meeting her lips once more. "But it can't hurt"

They wallowed in the afterglow of their honesty until the doorbell sliced through the quiet of their whispers and sighs. Sara didn't even have to ask what he ordered; Greg always, always, always ordered the same thing. Half Californian, half everything but the kitchen sink!

Sara wrapped herself in her silk robe, shivering at the exposure of her body to the cold fabric as she padded across the room to take a slice of pizza. Greg had his eyes trained on the slice of food in his hands, catalogueing the ridiculous number of toppings.

"I honestly think I could eat pizza forever…" Greg mused to himself as he watched her casually pace the room "if I had to choose one meal to eat every day for the rest of my life it would probably be pizza"

She chose not to respond, rolling her eyes at him and sliding into the chair directly across from him as she had done many times before. Never after indulging in such an intimate act of course, never while he pranced about in only his boxers looking like the cat that got the cream, this was new. New and exciting, she looked at him as though through different eyes. her gaze drew across his bare chest with something she could only describe as a thirst, it had barely been half an hour and she was already craving more.

"I mean its so diverse" he continued "you can really put anything on a pizza Sara"

His use of her name brought her back from her daydreaming and she met his eye, he was not as clueless about her as he liked to make out. the glint in his eye implied he knew exactly what she had been thinking about as her eyes had burned into his skin.

"I'm sorry Greg, I don't share your… worrying love of pizza"

"well that's something we will have to work on then" he grinned, stuffing yet more pizza in his mouth and winking at her across the table.

"I don't think you're going to convert me..." Sara raised an eyebrow slowly lifting a slice of pizza in her hand surveying it with disinterest.

"Ah...that's where you're wrong... I have time on my side, I'll wear you down." Greg said matter of factly. Sara glanced up at him with a wary expression as he spoke about 'time'. The concept had meant little to her until now- all of a sudden it seemed to mean everything.

"Greg..." She began wording her concerns but for some reason there didn't seem to be a way for her to say the right thing. Greg watched on; his mind frantically attempting to think of something to say to cover up the silence that had been created between them.

"I...I know." He nodded, his eyes on the floor the shift in atmosphere adjusted the way he was speaking. "That day, in that ally when I was lying there waiting for someone to show up- I thought- this is it. I'm going to die here and I started running through everything in my head and I realised I regretted so many things..."

"I don't regret...this..." Sara indicated to situation they had found themselves in.

"One of the things I regretted the most was not telling you how I felt..." Greg continued nodding at Sara's comment not knowing how to respond to her conflict. "I promised myself I would live every day for what it was...I would do things to make others smile, I would be kinder...I'd take more leap of faiths...and I don't know how to act here... I don't know if we should plan or make decisions...what I do know is that we need to make the most of the time we have because we never know when things might just end..."

"When did you get so wise...?" Sara smirked, instantly feeling warm from the sound of his words.

"Well...I didn't call myself swami for no reason Sara..." He smiled hoping that he had said enough to comfort her at least for the time being.

"Yeah...please don't start doing that again." She genuinely laughed for the first time since he'd been there.

They seemed to be lost in each others eyes, as though silently making plans for a replay, reaching the kind of agreement only lovers could make but Sara's cell phone soon brought that to an end. The horror painted on her face as she stared at the tiny screen was unmistakable.

"It's… its Gil" she stared at him as though looking for some kind of reassurance, some inspiration or support but he was just about as speechless as she was. "I better take this…"

With that she vanished into the bedroom, he could hear the muffled sounds of her voice. Even through the walls and the thick wooden door he could identify the sorrow and despair she was feeling. This didn't bode well for his vision of their future, he had an entirely different image in mind than she did. He had hoped they could be together, properly together but it was clear Sara wasn't ready to let go of Grissom. He was probably apologizing for his behavior, he was probably appealing to her and quoting beautiful poetry in her ear and she was probably falling for every word. She would be lapping it up without uttering a word of protest. She loved him, Greg knew that ti was true as much as it hurt him Sara really loved Grissom and there was nothing he could do about that.

That didn't neccesarily mean he couldn't have her to himself though. It might very well be that he could only have her when Grissom was out of town but Grissom was out of town a lot. Maybe with time she would see him the way he had always saw her. maybe she would realize how perfect they were for each other.

When she emerged from the bedroom she looked exhausted. He could tell she had been crying, the skin under her eyes was red and still soaked with tears but she forced a smile as she approached him and sat in her chair. The pizza had turned cold long ago and she picked off the now plastic like cheese and carmelised onions distractedly, refusing to meet his eye.

"Gil… he's not coming home" her voice was weak, defeated almost, as she explained the situation to him "he'll be gone for 6 months - at least"

She pulled her eyes from the pizza box and locked with his. He understood what she was trying to say, she had come to the same conclusion that he had. She wasn't ready to leave her husband but that didn't mean she had to be alone.

"so we're really doing this?" he took her hands into his, his thumb stroking across her palm gently. "we're having an affair?"

"Greg…" she was shaking her head, the shame of definition casting shadow's over her face.

"it's ok, really. It's ok" his lips grazed across her hand with all the sincerity he could manage. He was willing to wait for her, he had waited this long already another few months wouldn't make too much difference and he intended to spend the 6 months Grissom had gifted them convincing her of something he had always known to be true. They were meant for each other, it was never meant to be Grissom.


	22. Chapter 22

Nick hadn't been surprised to wake alone the next day. He would have been more surprised to find her there than to find her gone but that didn't stop him feeling a small sense of disappointment. He had invested a lot in their ill-fated relationship, he had let his guard down and it hadn't paid off.

The emptiness melted away slowly and left in its place an anger he couldn't suppress. He was angry at Caitlyn for leaving, he was angry at Sara for fooling around with Greg, he was angry with Greg for ever bringing Caitlyn near him in the first place but most of all he was angry with himself for letting it affect him so much. He was the kind of guy who met girls in bars and took them to his bed when he didn't even know their last names. He should have been as detached from her as he was with them but he wasn't. She had done something to him that no woman had ever been able to do and he was angry for letting her.

Yet somewhere deep down he still set himself up for heartache. He would sit in the diner every Thursday afternoon with a book casually slung under his arm on the off chance she would decide to show up, he would randomly drive past family services on his way home even although it was at least 3 miles out of his way, he would go prop up a faceless bar and send her messages asking her to meet him just once more but he knew it was all useless. He knew she had probably left town, she would be starting a new life and probably counted him as yet another mistake she'd rather forget.

He trudged into work one miserable Thursday cursing himself after spending far too long nursing a coffee in the diner and pretending to read. The empty locker room felt like it was closing in around him when he perched on the metallic bench and glanced at her name on his phone. He knew it was likely she had changed her number, people who didn't want to be found usually did and the multitude of messages he had sent that went unanswered just underlined that fact. His inner voice was screaming at him to hit delete, to move on and forget about her even if his heart did ache at the prospect. His thumb lingered over the button as he wrestled with his emotions, a cloud settling over him and resting on his shoulders. His mind seemed to only be filled with memories of their time together, like everything else was irrelevant as he tried to find a glimmer of hope in their situation.

"I swear Russell owes me at least 6 months' vacation after this week!" Greg grumbled as he darkened the doorway with Sara hot on his heels. It had been a particularly busy few weeks. Overtime was snaking into triple figures as the month drew to a close, it was only a matter of time before Ecklie was on their backs to take some time off in case anyone felt the need to look too closely at their shift patterns.

Sara threw him a small, tired smile as she slipped onto the bench beside him. Her eyes drawn to the phone cradled in his hand. He couldn't be sure she didn't see the name of the person monopolizing his thoughts but that didn't stop him clearing the screen and stuffing the phone in his locker.

"I don't think that's going to happen any time soon...unless the drug dealers, the pimps, the hookers, the addicts or the generally awful people in this town decided to take a summer break..." Sara mused.

"I wish they would. If I do any more overtime I'll be able to pay for them all to descend on some other poor town for the weekend" Greg stated glumly, stashing his ID inside his locker and turning to face his friends. "I am due at least a week of R&R …. And Pizza"

"You'll be changing your home address to Pizza Hut after a week man!" Nick laughed.

"I warn you now Greg...there is only so much pizza your body can take before your blood turns to tomato sauce" Sara teased as she discarded her vest into the locker and retrieved her purse.

"Pizza is a vastly under-valued food stuff" Greg grinned as he changed into his sneakers "which reminds me of operation pizza" He closed his locker and swung his arm around Sara's shoulder "Big Mama's on Flamingo tonight Sara – I will make a pizza lover of you yet!"

Morgan swung her head around the door as Greg and Sara moved to leave. Her stony expression speaking volumes as he zipped his vest into place and clipped his ID badge on.

"We got a 10-57 out in Seven Hills. A kid. Russell wants it to go away – fast!"

A missing child in such an affluent area of Las Vegas would not fly under the radar of the press or the sheriff. No wonder Russell wanted it solved as soon as possible. Morgan was already marching to the car when he caught up with her, the dark clouds gathering around the horizon and threatening to burst at any second. Pulling in to seven hills was like driving into another world. The huge houses and well maintained lawns overlooking the bright lights of the city in the distance were a far cry from the poverty you could witness barely 2 miles away.

"You think this might be abduction?" Morgan ventured as her eyes scanned the high number of police cars and press vans already assembled outside.

"I think it's more likely to be poor little rich kid ran away because his mom wouldn't buy him the new ipad…"

She raised her eyebrow in his direction before stepping out of the vehicle and being swarmed by press. They could be vultures at the best of times but when a case involved a child, especially a wealthy one they seemed to up the ante.

Inside police officers milled around waiting for them looking bored and disinterested, the mother was perched on the edge of the couch sobbing quietly as Vartann spoke to the pacing and irate father. Nick scanned the room tying to typecast the various people taking up space, a family services worker left the side of the mother and wandered into the kitchen in search of a glass of water. Morgan was assisting Vartann so Nick took the opportunity to chase her down.

"Hey, you based down in west Charleston?" he asked as casually as he could manage.

The girl nodded, slightly frowning at his questioning as he glanced over his shoulder to be sure of their privacy.

"Do you know if Caitlyn Anderson still works there?"

"Yeah, she transferred to clinical services a few weeks back." She smiled "Are you a … friend of hers?"

"I… used to be. Did Vartann say this kid already had a file with you guys?"

"Yeah, he's run away before... I can call and get it sent over to the lab if you want…."

"No, I'll go get it on my way home. its fine"

He processed the kid's room quietly and without interruption. It gave him time to clear his head and decide what he was going to do with the fact that Caitlyn was still in town. He had to see her that much he was sure of. He just wasn't sure how she would take it.

"I'm done downstairs; you want me to go back to the lab with this before I go home?" Morgan asked as she peered into the room and waved some evidence bags in his direction.

"No… you umm you hang around here, I'll take these"

This was his opportunity to make things right. As he drove along the highway only half paying attention he ran through the scenario in his head. Maybe it was naïve of him to expect her to be happy to see him, she had made the decision to leave it was entirely possible she never wanted to see him again but the way she had left only gave him so many questions. Vanishing in the middle of the night left him no closure. All she had to do was tell him there was nothing left to fight for and he would never look back.

The bright lights and floral scent of the family services building enveloped him as soon as he stepped through the doors. They tried hard not to make it an oppressive building, toys and plants were placed beside comfortable chairs and children's drawings dotted along the hallway. It didn't work, the place still felt official.

"Can I help you sir?" a small blonde asked him from behind the huge wooden desk in the foyer. He always wondered if there was any need for the desk to be so huge, even at the lab where visitors were few and far between they had an imposing desk everyone had to report to when they arrived like some kind of entrance ritual. He held up his ID for her scrutiny, glancing around the waiting area with disapproval.

"It's ok, I'm with LVPD. Just looking for a file"

He continued walking, dismissing her panicked expression as she took off after him.

"Should I get you an escort sir?" she called down the long empty corridor.

"I know where I'm going, its fine"

She faltered for a few seconds, probably unsure of the rules in this situation but he was saved from further company by a young man breezing in the door and ringing the bell for attention. Nick had been lying about knowing where he was going. He had been in this building a handful of times. His visits constricted to evaluation rooms or the waiting area. He had no idea where he was going.

It wasn't too difficult to figure it out though. One long corridor stretched out in front of him branching out into two wings. He knew the evaluation rooms were on the left so logically the other side is where he would find her.

The muffled sounds of music and chatter filtered into the hallway as he approached the end of the corridor and peered into what was clearly a staff room. The smell of freshly brewed coffee hit him immediately as did the suspicious eyes of 3 family services workers who had previously been mid-conversation.

"I… I'm looking for the file room?"

The three women all shared a glance between them before one of them directed him upstairs. He hated how quiet the building was, most of the staff had gone home for the night and the lights in the corridor upstairs were dim and depressing. The layout was a lot more open up here, there was less need for privacy since it was mostly file rooms and offices. The glass panel wall of the file room didn't do much to improve the lighting. He half-heartedly scanned the files and glanced outside towards the sound of footsteps.

Heels clicked against the hard empty floors and he knew somehow it was her. His heart was racing as he moved to the doorway and peered outside. He was right, it was her marching along the corridor with a pile of files in her arms and a purse slung over her shoulder. She looked great; a lot better than he had imagined her. His memories were still tainted with the images of her shattered and broken in his arms. The files she carried slipped and cascaded to the floor, reminiscent of that first day he had met her, instinctively he moved to help her but was halted by a man's voice and the sound of running.

"Hey Cat! Wait up! I'll help you out with that"

Nick held his breath as he watched a tall man gather the files and hand them to her. He was handsome, well over 6 feet with chiseled features and a crop of dark blonde hair.

"Thanks Tom" Caitlyn smiled up at him as they walked past the file room completely oblivious to his snooping. He felt a sense of loss that suffocated him. It had never occurred to him that she could have moved on, that she might be happy with their separation. He genuinely believed that she had given up their romance as reluctantly as he had and seeing her smiling with Tom just took away the one thing he had been holding onto all along.

Hope.

"You got plans for tonight?" Tom asked her. Their backs were to him but he could picture Tom smiling at her with a perfect row of pearly whites. He reminded Nick of the car's salesmen in every 1950's movie, with their slicked over hair and sleazy smiles.

"Aside from watching trashy TV in my PJ's? No" she laughed. He had forgotten how melodic and infectious her laugh was. It sent his heart into a course of somersaults.

"Well maybe you'll let me tear you away from that for a few hours?"

Tom was asking her out on a date, right in front of him and he could tell by the way she chatted easily to him she was going to agree. Caitlyn flicked through the pile of files as they loitered at the top of the stairs.

"Oh well I've forgotten one of these, wait for me downstairs and I'll see what I can do?" she smiled at him as she took off back along the corridor and Tom disappeared. This was Nick's only chance, it was now or never. He swallowed the lump in his throat and suppressed the anxiety welling up inside him as he followed her path into a small office in the middle of the corridor. She was looking through files perched on the edge of the desk, the minimal grey light from outside casting shadows across her face. She didn't notice him at first, simply continued filtering the paperwork and biting on her bottom lip in that way he was so familiar with.

"Hi Cait…" her eyes met his with an expression mixed with recognition and surprise as she nervously tucked her hair behind one ear.

"Nick?" She shifted uncomfortably on her feet, quickly averting her gaze. "What...are you doing here?"

"I… uhh I had to get a file" he offered, becoming quickly aware that he didn't have a file in his hands "I thought you left town?"

"I was going to…" she looked up at him as though she was pleading him not to ask for an explanation but he had to know where her head was when it came to him. He had to know where he stood.

"Do you want to… go for a coffee or something?"

He could see the reluctance clouding her face immediately as she fussed with the papers and he was almost tempted to offer her a get out, to turn away and never have to hear her answer. He had played this out so many times in his head and rejection had never occurred to him.

"Nick… I can't…" she stood up, and clutched a file close to her body, taking a few cautious steps towards him. "I'm sorry…"

"Oh right, Tom…" he tried to keep the bitterness and resentment out of his voice as she peered through the blinds at the man waiting for her but he didn't mask his feelings very well. Taking the space beside her he looked down on Tom pacing back and forth and tapping buttons on his phone. "He seems… nice"

She met his eye with a smile that made his heart stop but she quickly averted her gaze outside again shaking her head in an attempt to throw off her amusement.

"He's just a colleague actually" she smiled, turning her back to the window and regarding him carefully.

"Good because I thought maybe 'plastic' was a little harsh if you were going to be dating that guy!"

They shared a lingering look, a moment silhouetted in the light of the window and he debated internally whether to make a move and try to kiss her it felt strangely new and overwhelming being close to her again. Although the tone of her skin and the scent of her hair was familiar to him he felt like he was discovering it all again.

"Nick... I need to go…"

Caitlyn broke the tension and moved out of the room before he had really caught up and he almost had to run after her as she sauntered down the corridor.

"So… coffee?"

"No, Nick. No coffee" she didn't even turn around, marching along the corridor almost as if she was running from him.

"Dinner then?"

"No dinner" she laughed, turning onto the stairs and catching his eye before she disappeared. Picking up his pace he watched her from the top of the stairs.

"What harm can it do?" He shrugged, standing at the stop of the stairs and watching as she got further away.

"It did plenty of harm last time Nick. I can't" she said, running her teeth over her bottom lip again. It was becoming clear she was still haunted by what had happened, she was still bearing the guilt.

"You know I still go to book club…" his statement was enough to make her pause and gaze up at him "it's not as much fun by myself"

Her suspicious expression told him she didn't believe him but he felt invigorated, the ball was in her court but he was pleased she was at least playing the game. She could have asked him to leave, refused to indulge in conversation at all but she didn't. She had let him return to the easy, fun stage of their courtship without protest and he knew that he could break through her barriers if she would only let him take her on one date. Just one chance and he knew he could have her back.

"I don't believe you…" she stated quietly, analyzing his expression with a cautious smile.

"ok… don't believe me!" he held up his hands in mock defeat and met her eye with a flirty smile as he started slowly descending the stairs towards her "I sit in the diner every Thursday afternoon waiting for you…the waitress says reading 'Mills and Boon' will only make people think I'm gay though…"

He took the last few steps towards her and stood in front of her, sensing the atmosphere changing with his confession. Her expression had softened, her eyes studying his for signs of dishonesty. He had forgotten just how vibrant and breathtaking her eyes were, he had forgotten how the warmth from her body pulled him in and how moisture caressed her lips making them glisten and seem completely irresistible.

He had been over thinking things before but now all conscious thought seemed to melt away as he slowly dipped his head towards her. his hand stroked across the soft skin of her arm making a shiver course through his body as she released a small trembling gasp from her mouth. He could almost taste her, he could breathe the same air as her, he could feel the anticipation of their kiss gripping his body but then she broke away. Quickly and nervously she threw him one last apologetic look as she took off down the last flight of stairs and left the building.

He may have been abandoned in the middle of a faceless staircase with her scent still coursing through his veins but he smiled at the realization that he had her exactly where he wanted her, he had managed to infect her thoughts as much as she had managed to infect his. He was well on his way to winning her back, he only had to bide his time.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/n: this chapter is dedicated to 'DearSweetPapercut' since we are apparently having a FanFiction Divorce lol this is the finale to all her Sandle brainwashing - Enjoy! next chapter is the complete! :) xxx**

Greg held the door open for her as they headed home, meeting her eye with a cheeky smile as she breezed past. It had been surprisingly easy to keep their affair a secret, it certainly helped that they spent a high proportion of their time together already. No-one batted an eyelid to see them arrive and leave at the same time, no-one questioned their dinner plans or the flirty conversations they exchanged. The only thing they were really hiding was the fact that they inevitably ended each night locked in each other's embrace sharing the heavy secrets only lovers shared in the shadows as their sighs evaporated into their skin.

That part was what tormented her conscience when insomnia gripped her mind. She would pad around her condo while he slept trying to block out all the imagery it offered. Everything reminded her of Grissom. Everything reminded her of her marriage and quite rightly so. It was her marital home, they were committing unforgivable sins in her marital bed where she had once spent hours wrapped in her husband's arms, when it had once been him whispering into her hair and stroking his hands across the plains of her back. The longer they continued on this path the harder she found it to hold onto Grissom.

The memory of him was slipping through her fingers. She found herself wondering if she would ever remember what it felt like to hold his gaze again, she wondered if she could force herself to remember how his lips tasted or how it felt to hold her body close to him and it almost sickened her when she realized that even her conscious thought morphed her most treasured memories of her marriage into Greg.

She had spent so much time afraid of defining what they had as a relationship that she had failed to remind herself not to fall in love.

"You okay?" Greg asked her tentatively as she slid into the driver's seat of the car they had shared to work. She was tired, to the very root of her soul. Triple shifts and emotional turmoil did not mix well.

"Why wouldn't I be?" she snapped before pressing her eyes closed and internally berating her defensiveness. "Sorry, I guess I'm a little tired"

His hand reached out and engulfed hers as it rested on the handbrake, the touch of his skin enveloping her in its warmth was instantly calming, the gentle caress of his thumb sending vibrations shooting along her arm as she looked into his eyes with a somewhat defeated smile. He could always do this to her, he could always break through her pessimistic nature and level her emotions. He always knew exactly what to do.

"You know you can tell me anything..." He muttered gently to her. And as Sara looked into his eyes- she realized it was a lie even if he didn't know it. She couldn't tell him how she often laid awake next to him wondering what she had done and doubting every decision she had ever made.

"I know..." She nodded with another weak smile. Greg lent in to kiss her but she quickly moved away from him, her eyes glancing out of the windows to check no one had caught them.

"We...have to be careful." She muttered pulling her seat belt on.

"Right..." Greg replied, focusing his attention out of the passenger side window- his expression clearly hurt. Sara took a deep breath attempting to ease the pain in her chest as she realized what she had done.

"Sorry..." The word lingered in the air between them.

"Whatever Sara...I understand." But there appeared to be clear resistance in the words.

"Greg I'm sorry... I know...this...is hard." Sara tried again hoping that she would be able to get through to him.

"This." He snorted turning away from her again.

"Greg?" She questioned him even though she knew- she had been seeing his anger bubbling up, simmering with every knock of disappointment that seemed to appear and linger invisibly between them.

"This. You've never said it...said what it is..." His voice was low shivering through her body as the words resounded in the small space.

"I… I don't know what it is" she responded honestly. "I don't know what we are… I don't know what I want"

Greg faltered for a second, her words somehow searing into his skin and burning into him. he had suspected she was struggling lately. He heard her shuffling around the house in the middle of the night, he had watched as her eyes grew darker and heavier with every day, he had seen how the weight seemed to fall off her with the stress and it tore him up inside knowing that he couldn't fix it. it was all down to her and she couldn't bring herself to make that decision yet.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you're not in love with me." He kept his voice low and calm, hoping perhaps that she would have an epiphany and move things forward but the silence filling the car grew thicker with every passing second his words hovering in the air and taunting him.

Sara pulled up in her usual parking space, lost for words as she realized she didn't know what to say to Greg. He remained silent but she could see the darkness in his eyes. Her heart broke slightly at the thought that he was slipping away with every night they spent together, with every unuttered confession he would keep questioning their position. He would keep detaching from her because all she was doing was pushing him away.

"Look Greg…" she twisted in her seat to look at him but he had already swung his legs out of the car.

"Forget I said anything"

He disappeared inside the house without a look behind him, leaving her sitting in the car wrestling with her emotions once again. When she finally composed herself enough to trudge into the house Greg had shaken off his dark mood and had thrown himself into cleaning the leftover dishes while listening to thundering rock music. The image made her laugh, Greg standing there in pink rubber gloves, rocking out to 'three days grace' as though he hadn't a care in the world. He had always been good at shaking off the things that got him down, his mask had always been his humor and right now Sara was thankful for his denial.

"So I got a surprise for you…" Greg smiled as she slipped her coat from her shoulders. His hands, free of the gloves, wrapped around her shoulders and began massaging the tense muscles. The moisture from cleaning still lingered on his fingertips, gliding over her skin as though sliding across silk as she melted under his touch.

His hand reached down and slid an envelope across the counter before he moved away and switched the stereo off. Sara slipped two tickets from the envelope for that nights showing of 'Jersey Boys'. It wasn't usually her thing, people breaking into song at random intervals grated on her nerves normally but at the very least this one had a decent story. Morgan had been raving about it all week, she hadn't been able to get tickets, apparently it was a sellout.

"Thought we could use some fun" he smiled "and it can be our first proper date"

"We go out all the time Greg"

"I know we do...how about this time I won't make you pay for my popcorn..." Greg laughed wrapping his arms around her.

"Sure...it sounds good." Sara smiled at him.

"100 percent? Because if you're not- we could go somewhere else-" Greg began but Sara placed a finger on his lips to stop him talking.

"It sounds great Greg." She said softly meeting his eyes as if to assay her honesty. Sara simply turned away and disappeared to get changed leaving him standing in her wake gazing after her like a lovesick puppy.

Under normal circumstances she would have thrown on jeans and a top or her old faithful LBD but this particular outing seemed to have assumed a magnitude she had no control over. Greg was right; it could count as their first 'proper' date if they let it. She just wasn't sure she was ready to let it. Greg didn't understand how they could be lovers behind closed doors and immediately detach in public. He had given his all to her, the entire essence of his soul but she couldn't offer him the same. Not yet, not while she still wore her ring.

And the ring is where her vision settled as she stared at her image in the mirror. It settled around her finger glinting in the light. It should be a symbol of love and devotion but in truth it felt like a tether, holding her in its grip as it tightened around her and suffocated her.

She realized Greg was detaching from her, he had been pulling her close just to have her push him away and he was getting tired of her games. As much as it ached deep down in her heart she knew he needed more from her, she knew she had to make the final decision she had been avoiding for the few weeks they had been indulging in their affair.

She tentatively twisted the ring around her finger, a sadness welling up inside her as she slipped free from its binds. She had expected to feel its absence like a weight of guilt but for the first time in over a year she felt free. She felt unburdened and although it was a small gesture, she knew it would be enough for Greg.

"You look…amazing" he breathed when she crept out from the bedroom. His eyes cast over her carefully, taking in every part of her from the sweep of curls in her hair to the tiny heel on her shoe. He noticed the absence of the ring, she could see it in his eyes as his fingers gently curled around hers and he placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand.

"You don't look too bad yourself… anyone would think you had a date or something" she smirked as she picked up her purse and glanced at her cell phone. A message from Grissom sat in her inbox, the tiny envelope blinking at her over and over. If she was honest with herself she was afraid of opening it. It could be something profound and life changing, it could be something so romantic she would be forced to go back and superglue the ring to her finger, breaking Greg's heart in the process.

"_A whole day of meetings ahead- Thank the lord for caffeine"_

A small smile worked its magic on the corners of her mouth, not at the content of the message or the ridiculous situation she had found herself in but at her own foolish stupidity. She knew Grissom, inside and out, probably better than he even knew himself and she was still setting herself up for disappointment at every turn. She was still waiting for him to wake up one day and grant her a small glimmer of hope in their bleak circumstance.

"What are you smiling at?" Greg asked, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her against him.

"It's Grissom…" she whispered, meeting his eye as the air seemed to leave the room for a second "he didn't even ask how I was"

"I guess it's lucky I'm looking after you then" he grinned, placing a small kiss on her forehead.

She stared at the message for a few more seconds, trying to glean some hidden meaning from it, something poignant and poetic but it occurred to her that it was more about routine for him. It was his duty to keep her updated; it was part of his morning ritual. Greg studied her intently, his eyes burned into her as she attempted to force her brain into thinking up a suitable response. Instead she gave Greg a small smile and placed the phone carefully on the counter behind her.

She was leaving behind more than just a ring tonight.

When the cab pulled up at the theatre they were immediately encompassed by the atmosphere. People milled about waiting for the show to start, the foyer filled with laughter and chatter. Greg steered Sara to the bar, buying them both a drink while she scanned the ornate ceilings and intricate moldings on the walls.

"To us" he declared as he clinked their glasses together.

Sara smiled, he always needed justification from her, reassurances that she wasn't going to startle and run for the hills like a deer in the forest.

"To our first date" she responded with a half-smile, leaning over to kiss his cheek softly and breathe in the soft scent of his cologne. His hand rested on her hip, his fingertips sliding on the sheer material of her dress and while he had obviously touched her before, now they were in a public place it was liberating and exhilarating as much as it was terrifying.

The announcement came for the start of the show and people instantly responded, filtering through the double doors as though their life depended on it. Human behavior would never cease to astound her, people would always rather force their way through than bide their time. Greg had managed to secure them pretty good seats, first tier but in the center with an unobscured view of the stage. The theatre was small, adding to the fun, party atmosphere. There was a mix of people, some groups of young people, older couples, friends and people in costumes who had clearly spent a large portion of the day drinking already. She smiled at their intoxicated singing as she took her seat and scanned the crowd once more.

Greg was distracted by the brochure when Sara's eyes rested on someone that made her heart stop in her chest. There seated no more than 3 rows away on the curve of the balcony was Morgan Brody. All her hopes that she wouldn't spot her were shattered when Morgan scanned the crowds much the same way she had and their eyes met. Sara could feel her face flush and grow hot as she wrung the programme in her hands trying to silently beg Morgan for her silence but it was soon clear that Morgan had her own reason's to be keeping quiet about her visit to this particular show. Her companion was making his way along the row of chairs holding onto their drinks and muttering his apologies and Sara didn't know whether to laugh or cry as Morgan's eyes moved desperately between hers and Hodges. Of all the people in the entire world she would have prayed wasn't here tonight David Hodges was on the top of the list. If he sussed out what was going on she was certain he would be on the phone to Grissom before she had the chance to take a breath. By the expression on Morgan's face she would prefer it if tonight could be their little secret too so they exchanged a small nod and pretended to be extremely interested in the stage until the house lights fell.

She tried to forget about it. Tried to enjoy the show and not let Greg's hand resting on her knee bother her so much but her eyes darted between the stage and her friends every few seconds. She saw the way Morgan watched her too. The way Hodges would awkwardly offer her popcorn and top up her wine, it looked suspiciously like a date.

In the interval Morgan almost shot out of her chair and headed to the bathroom, Sara took off after her, determined to make sure she knew that this had to be something she kept close to her chest. The queue for the bathroom snaked around an expertly carved pillar and Sara found herself directly behind Morgan.

"We're not on a date…." She almost whispered.

Morgan didn't turn around; her body visibly stiffened as she shifted on her feet and tucked some loose hair behind her ear.

"No… me either" she uttered nervously.

The one saving grace she had was that Morgan had never met Grissom, she didn't have any feelings towards the man one way or another, she didn't owe him her honestly or loyalty. They stood in silence as the queue slowly diminished to a few people.

"Hodges… he had these tickets you see…" she finally turned to face Sara with her eyes wide, quickly turning back to eye the stalls with exasperation.

"I really wanted to see this show…" she explained.

"It's ok" Sara smiled, realizing quickly that she had the upper hand in this situation "hey I won't tell if you won't"

They met again, washing their hands in the massive chrome sinks. Sara desperately tried to think of a way to word her request for Morgan's silence without making it obvious she was cheating on her husband. Everything she thought of seemed to sound ridiculous or transparent, it was a minefield and Morgan made no secret of fixing her eyes on the absence of gold banding on her finger.

"Greg … Greg just…" she began stumbling over her words, panic welling in her stomach and bile rising in her throat as she tried to justify their presence together. Morgan sensed her panic and reached out a reassuring hand to hers with a soft smile.

"I won't tell if you won't" she nodded before disappearing out of the bathroom and joining the throng of people returning to their seats.

Greg had been at the bar while she was gone. He balanced an unfathomable amount of snacks and an entire bottle of wine in his hands as he weaved in and out of the crowds making his way to their seats.

"I didn't know what you would like…" he grinned, somehow finding his way into the chair without spilling it all.

"So you bought… everything?" she teased casually popping some popcorn into her mouth as music filled the air.

"This is not everything darlin'." He joked opening the bottle of wine.

"South Carolina, Chardonnay." Sara smiled at how Greg had chosen her favorite sacrificing his taste for red wine for the evening.

"I think it should be to your taste." he beamed back.

"Of course...you spoil me." She laughed.

"Who else would I be spoiling? I don't think I could buy Hodges his favorite wine...he'd take it the wrong way." Greg smiled softly, his hand covering Sara's before he planted a gentle kiss on her cheek pretending not to notice the way she flinched at the gesture "Speaking of Hodges I swear I saw him at the bar…"

"How much wine have you had Sanders?" she smiled, trying to keep his attention on the show and not on the couple sitting a few rows from them. "It's time to worry when you see Hodges everywhere…"

"Hey, when I start seeing Hodges everywhere I will willingly take myself to the nearest mental hospital"

"I'll drive" she smiled squeezing his hand "don't worry I saw him too. If you're going mad then I'm going with you! We can grow old together in the institution"

Greg's eyes softened as he watched her, even in the dim lighting of the theatre she could feel the emotion in his gaze and his hand tightened around her's.

"We can grow old together anyway" he smiled "I can buy a pipe and you can get a purple rinse"

Although it was intended as a playful comment she was becoming painfully aware of how much their affair was becoming a relationship. Every day she was reminded of it when she woke up in his arms, the feeling of guilt and sorrow had faded rather too quickly for comfort. She seemed to have moved on a little too easily; Grissom's calls and messages had gradually faded away to almost nothing. He was detaching from her as much as she was him.

Greg leaned in to kiss her and she was gripped by a sudden fear, making her shuffle back in her seat and push him away with a terrified glance in the direction of Hodges.

"not here… not…" she couldn't find the words. No matter what she said she was going to upset him, there wasn't a way where she could make everyone happy. No matter what she did someone was going to be broken.

Greg sat back in his chair with a sigh and kept his eyes fixed on the stage for the rest of the show. She had hoped that taking her ring off would have been enough for him, she hoped that the gesture would have told him what she didn't seem to be able to. It was becoming clear that Greg needed more.

As the show came to an end and the theatre was enveloped in rapturous applause she knew that now was the time to take that final leap of faith.

She had to tell Grissom.

The thought left a lump in her throat and made tears sting at her eyes. Grissom had once been everything to her, she couldn't have imagined life without him but in reality she did have a life without him. The ring on her finger had been a reassurance, a reminder that they were together but they weren't really together.

Greg had given her the silent treatment ever since her rejection of his kiss. The stormy expression on his face not faltering for a second as he stared out of the window the entire journey home. She watched him work through his anger, she studied his face hoping that somehow she would know what to do, she would know what to say to make it better.

If she was going to be with Greg, properly with Greg, then she had to be willing to make ridiculous plans with him, she had to be willing to be seen in public with him, and she had to make a commitment to him.

It was late when they made it home, the dark night air closing in around them as they took the few steps inside. Greg twirled her around and his eyes seemed to look right into her soul; it made her heart pound in her chest as she stood in his arms waiting to hear what he had to say.

"I can't do this anymore Sara…" he muttered sadly. He had clearly been composing his thoughts on the trip home. He had been questioning their position as much as she had.

"Greg…." he shook his head and hushed her words before she had the chance to fight her corner.

"no… I need to know I'm not wasting my time here. I can't keep being used like this. Are you always going to be jumping across the room when I'm near you just because Hodges is near us? Vegas isn't that big a town Sara, eventually we're going to get caught and when we do… I … I don't know where I'll stand. I don't know what you'll choose…"

The prospect had never occurred to her. she had contemplated the fall out of getting caught, she had pictured the look on Grissom's face and the tone of his voice when she had that heartbreaking conversation but for some reason she had never thought about what it was doing to Greg.

"I need to make a call…." She whispered as her hands lightly stroked his chest.

"Now? You need to make a call now?" his confusion was justified, it was 2am in Las Vegas but in Japan it was just leaving 6pm. He would just be leaving work.

"I need to call Grissom…" his face visibly fell and she felt her heart tugging in sympathy. Sara pulled him close to her placing a gentle hand on each side of his face as her lips met his "it's time to do this properly"


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: This is the last chapter – and its super long because I have developed an emotional attachment to it all and couldn't bear to cut it in half! however, I get another shiny complete! I owe a large portion of this chapter to my dear friend 'DearSweetPaperCut' – I could wax lyrical about how wonderful she is here but it would only inflate her ego further and she knows how much I love her anyway ;o) I hope you have all enjoyed this story as much as I have, send me one last review please?  
love Charli xxx**

Nick watched her leave from the foyer, the blonde woman eyeing him with a smile as he did. Caitlyn was chatting to Tom outside, nervously glancing back and forth as though she could sense his eyes on her. He couldn't hear what they were saying, he wouldn't even attempt to try but as she shook her head and headed in the direction of her car he hoped she had offered Tom a rejection. He could be a hurdle in his path if she allowed him to be.

"You… friends with Caitlyn?" the girl at the desk asked twirling some hair around her finger.

"You could say that, I guess" Nick shrugged "she blew me off"

She moved from behind the desk, smiling at him and drawing her hand across the wooden top seductively. She wasn't as small as he had first thought; the desk had dwarfed her and hidden her slim build and long legs. In the corner of his eye he saw Cait running to catch up with Tom and slip inside his car, it felt like the wall between them was officially back in place.

"Well I get off shift in 5minutes if you're looking for some company…" she purred, her hand now stroking his arm. There was no mistaking the kind of 'company' she had in mind and Nick found himself looking her up and down, contemplating the possibility of an evening of debauchery.

"I'll wait outside" he smiled, watching her retreating form with lust in his eyes. She was going to be trouble, he could feel it. Girls like her often were, girls like her who worked with girls like Caitlyn were bound to be. He had met them many times before; he had slept with them many times before. The kind of girls who worked so hard to be beautiful they forgot what it was, the kind who needed random men to take them to bed to feel desired.

She joined him a few minutes later, her hair pulled loose and her top pulled down. She had smeared some gaudy pink lipstick on her lips and brushed powder across her eyelids in an attempt to perk up from what had probably been a long shift.

"Hi, names Rosie… where are we headed?" she grinned, slipping her arm round his. Her perfume was strong. It filled the air in a heavy haze and irritated his nose.

"Well I have to stop by work for a second" he sniffed, waving the file around "then we can go for a drink"

"Sounds good to me!" she smirked as he led her to his car.

Rosie was one of those girls it was easy to chat to. She had a lot to say and didn't hesitate to say it; in fact, Nick didn't have to talk very much at all. He spent most of the date nodding and smiling in her direction biding his time until they could get down to the real reason for their date. While she chattered he watched her with some interest, she was probably quite naturally pretty under all that make up but she knew it and that immediately made her less attractive. It also made her a target for men like him who had no intention of calling her back. Who had no intention of pursuing a romance with her, she was there to quench a thirst and she was using him as much as he was using her.

They barely made it out of the bar before she was wrapped around him; the feverish pace in which she tore at his shirt and stole the breath from his lips overwhelmed him. He found himself in her apartment on the other side of town without even uttering a single word.

She had a way of pulling her with him on this whirlwind while his mind was still preoccupied with Caitlyn and he couldn't defend himself. Before long he was running his hands across her bare skin and tasting her flesh on his lips. It felt all wrong when he thought about it, so he stopped thinking about it. He turned off the rational part of his brain and he went along with Rosie, tearing moans from her throat and kisses from her lips until they both collapsed into the bed.

"I really don't know why Caitlyn blew you off Nicky… that was amazing" she gushed, while the ego boost should have helped, the mention of Caitlyn's name seemed to weigh heavily on his mind. "The girls got issues… I mean the other day she freaked when I asked her to respond to a missing kid. I just forgot she was in clinical now"

"Why is she in clinical now anyway? I thought she was doing well…"

"She was. Boss had his head so far up her ass he couldn't see anyone else but she came in one day looking like crap, all puffy eyes and pasty skin, went into the boss' office and when she left she had a new department and a promotion" she raised her eyebrows to emphasize her point as she offered him a cigarette from her night stand "I think she screwed the boss… he's totally into her and how else would she get a promotion looking like that?"

"By doing her job?" Nick muttered, refusing the cigarette and swinging his legs out of the bed.

"Yeah… right. Like that's how she got to where she is now" she scoffed sarcastically as she puffed on her cigarette. Nick was beginning to realize he had made a huge mistake. This girl clearly had it in for Caitlyn. He was simply another method she was using to undermine her.

"Sometimes people are actually good at what they do you know…" he sighed, pulling on his jeans and scanning the floor for his shirt.

"Yeah well, Tom doesn't seem to notice when anyone else is 'good at what they do' I guess it depends what it is they're 'doing'" she rolled her eyes and stubbed out her cigarette, pulling a silk bathrobe around her body and laying back on the bed.

"Tom. You mean that guy… the one she left with?"

She nodded and smiled at him, raising an eyebrow as though to underline her suspicions. Nick wasn't sure how he felt about this revelation, he had certainly sensed something between them in the corridor but it could easily be put down to jealousy.

"Apparently she knew him before she came here but she wouldn't tell anyone how – totally suspicious if you ask me…."

Rosie watched him dressing with an air of indifference and Nick found himself feeling incredibly defensive of Caitlyn. Even if what Rosie was saying was true, he didn't like the way she slated her and he was fairly sure this was a well-rehearsed rant, one that she has spouted more than once.

"I'm… I need to work… early tomorrow…" he muttered, retrieving his shoes and trying not to meet her steady eye. He usually slipped out of these situations while the girl was sound asleep and oblivious to his retreat, this was all new to him. The fact that Rosie didn't seem to be bothered made him feel uneasy. "I'll… see you around?"

Rosie shrugged and pulled another cigarette from the packet while tapping out a message on her phone. Nick had a feeling this wouldn't be the last he would hear of her as he slipped outside and tried to get his bearings. It wasn't the first time he had slunk out of a woman's bed and found himself in a strange place; he promised himself it would be the last time. he hailed a cab and fell into bed, hoping to sleep off the memories of his drunken one night stand and the horrible feeling that it would come back to haunt him.

Greg made his way into the break room his mind filling with memories of the previous night he had spent with Sara. They're evenings together had started to feel more comfortable than he had ever expected them to be- they would talk, laugh and joke as if they were any other couple. The lack of gold glinting on her hand had changed the atmosphere in ways he couldn't explain- his whole being feeling so alive.

Nick was sitting at the table his attention focused on the newspaper in his hand- a coffee slowly cooling by his elbow. He looked up meeting Greg's eye giving him a small nod of acknowledgement.

If Nick was being honest with himself Greg's company had not improved his mood. His friend reminded him of the lover he had lost. The woman he thought he had fallen in love with. Things had gotten messier than he had ever wanted them to- they had gotten themselves tangled in a web of deceit and unravelling had proved itself to be a near impossible task.

Despite the ending of their relationship the fact that they had betrayed Greg played heavily on his mind.

He was more than certain that Greg had been sleeping with Sara- they were so close. They counted on each other so much it wouldn't be hard for anyone to see how things could have escalated. How their friendship could have turned in to more. They knew each other like the backs of their hands, their private jokes and secretive smiles speaking of some deep connection. What he and Cait had done was so different.

It was lust.

Or at least it had been until he fell in love with her. They had both been filling emptiness in their lives with sex.

"What are you up to tonight?" Greg asked casually leaning back against the counter.

"Nothing...why?" Nick cleared his throat taking a sip from his coffee expecting to be asked to swap shifts- tonight was Sara's night off.

"I just thought it'd be nice to grab a beer after shift..." The younger man shrugged with a small smile. "I've been pretty wrapped up in Cait- I guess- it's time to get back to being me"

"You know I've got-" Nick began realising that he was not ready for this. He could not sit with Greg and pretend that nothing had changed between them.

"Come on- it's been ages since we went out for a beer" Greg insisted with a warm smile.

"Okay...okay" He gave in realising that it was time to try and put things right.

"That's great..." Greg nodded a goodbye at him disappearing into the hall way with his mug looking for someone to talk to about his case.

Nick leant back in his chair taking a deep breath realising that perhaps it was time to be the better man- to confess he'd made a mistake and hope that things would improve. More than anything he wanted to redeem himself not only in Greg and Cait's eyes but also his own.

Greg had been one of is closest friend's since he'd moved to Vegas- they had grown older together- they had shared loss, experienced trauma and fought battles together. And for some reason love didn't seem to stop the guilt he felt overwhelming him every time he was in Greg's presence.

Shift seemed to pass quickly- the minutes moving too fast for Nick's liking. He wanted time to get his thoughts together- to work out how he was going to tell Greg but before he knew it he was in a bar listening to Bon Jovi play.

"Hey Greg can I ask you a question?" Nick asked realising that it was now or never.

"Sure..." The younger man took a swing from his beer- glancing around at the crowd before looking back at his friend.

"Why did you and Cait break up?"

"...We were in different places in our relationship. Things just weren't working out. We jumped in, took a risk and it turned out to be a bad decision" Greg shrugged as if defeated and exhausted by the subject.

"Really?" Nick raised his eyebrows not wanting to let on he knew more than Greg thought.

"No" He shook his head. "I told her I was in love with someone else"

"Someone else?"

"Sara" Greg took a deep breath. "I'm in love with Sara"

"oh" Nick realised he was speechless- he had never expected to hear those words appearing in the air.

"She's... everything I've ever wanted. And I just wasn't ready to let go of her. And I was hurting Cait because this whole time I couldn't stop thinking about Sara." He looked disappointed- it was impossible to miss.

"Did you see Sara behind Cait's back?" Nick needed to know if the premiss he and Cait had based their affair on had been true.

"No" Greg shrugged. "I just didn't stop spending as much time with her even when I know it was upsetting Cait."

The revelation seemed to be crushing Nick's chest- the music suddenly sounding louder, his heart beating faster, and the alcohol taking more bitter.

"How did you know you love Sara then?" He asked attempting to regain control in the conversation.

"Because it's not about sex... she's funny, smart, beautiful... she's such a strong person" Greg knew he needed to stop talking- if he didn't he was going to tell Nick everything. "And Grissom...he... just took advantage of her..."

"Greg there's something I need to tell you" Everything seemed to be crashing down harder than Nick had imagined. Greg took a deep breath glad that Nick had not noticed his use of the past tense 'took'.

"What?" He smiled at Nick wondering what it was that was playing on his mind.

"I...I don't know how to tell you this..." He took a deep breath looking away before looking back at Greg. "I...I slept with Cait"

"You've seen her recently?" Greg frowned at him.

"No...No...while you were together...She thought you were sleeping with Sara. And she wanted someone to talk to. And one thing led to another" The story came blurting out and as he looked up it quickly became clear that this was not going to be a no harm no foul situation.

"What are you talking about?" Greg couldn't contemplate what he was saying.

"I'm sorry"

"Sorry? You slept with my girlfriend and you're sorry" He stood up and Nick found himself following suit.

"Greg listen to me" He pleaded for him to listen.

"What could you possibly have to say?" Greg growled.

"I love her. I'm in love with her Greg. I love Cait the way you love Sara." The words just bubbled up.

"You can't possibly" He shook his head.

"I know... you're angry with me... but it was eating me up not telling you. But I lost her. And I loved her- I still love her. And... I don't know what to do..." He sounded exhausted.

"If you love her- if you really do- you wouldn't have stopped fighting for her Nick" With that Greg turned abandoning his drink as he disappeared out of the bar.

Nick was left standing along baffled by what had just happened- realising Greg was right.

If he really loved Cait- then he couldn't admit defeat- not now.

Starting tomorrow he was going to win Caitlyn back and no amount of sleazy bosses or jealous receptionists would get in his way. Rosie might even be able to help. As he stepped out of the bar and made his way home he sent Rosie a message and got to work.

Caitlyn squinted in the bright sunlight as she pulled into the parking lot at work. She hadn't slept well at all; Nick showing up had knocked her for six. A flood of memories she had worked hard to suppress had washed over her when he smiled at her and she kicked herself for being so weak. She had tried to fly under the radar for this very reason, it wouldn't work with Nick but her heart still wanted her to try.

Rosie eyed her funny as she strolled through the foyer, not that it was unusual for Rosie to be glaring at her it just seemed like she was itching to say something to her. It didn't take long for her to follow into her office with a handful of messages that she probably could have given her at reception. Caitlyn rolled her eyes before turning to face her with a smile.

"Hey, um when will you be going for lunch today? I… I just need to know for… well Tom asked me to start logging everyone in and out…" she said with a false smile plastered to her features.

"I'm not sure, probably about 1? Tom should know already, we're going together!"

"You know… that guy you were taking too yesterday?" Rosie perched on the edge of her desk and started fingering the paperwork absentmindedly.

"Nick? What about him?" Caitlyn could feel her chest getting tight as she met Rosie's eye and recognized the mischievous glint reflected back to her. Jealousy was not something she would have expected to be feeling at all.

"Are you two… you know" she shrugged "is there something… going on between you?"

Caitlyn sat back for a second and thought about the question. As much as she would like to warn Rosie off Nick she knew she had no claim over him. Even if it hurt to think of him with someone else, it was bound to happen sooner or later.

"No, Nick and I… we're just friends… not even that actually…I'm not really sure what we are…"

"So, its ok if I… well you know" she beamed with a nod of her head.

"Sure, it's… nothing to do with me" Caitlyn shrugged with a half-hearted attempt at a smile.

"Great!" she beamed, twirling around and bouncing to the door "cause, I kinda already did"

She wandered back along the corridor and Caitlyn sat staring at the desk in front of her trying to control her emotions. Rationalization's only worked for so long, the fact remained that this bothered her. It bothered her a lot more than it should have and Rosie would take a great deal of pleasure from that.

At one o'clock Nick sat in his car watching the doors of family services, as instructed. Caitlyn appeared with Tom close on her heels, heading to lunch, just as Rosie had predicted. He had told her he wanted to return the file without bumping into Cait gain, that wasn't entirely true though. While he was in fact returning the file he had something else he had in mind that Caitlyn couldn't see. It had to be a surprise or it simply wouldn't work. Romantic gestures were so much better when they were unexpected.

Rosie ushered him in with a sultry smile, clearly enjoying the prospect that he was now avoiding Caitlyn. He headed straight for her office, knowing her inclination towards super short lunch breaks didn't buy him a lot of time. He breezed out of the building, muttering his goodbyes to Rosie and feeling very optimistic about the night ahead.

When Caitlyn returned she felt somewhat more in control, Tom had talked it all through with her and clarified her position in the whole sorry scenario. He had been a godsend for the few months, when everything was falling apart he had been there helping her put it all back together, now it felt like all their hard work was beginning to come undone and he was right there by her side trying to seal the cracks with her.

She knew about the rumors flying around the offices, they both did and although Tom claimed it didn't bother him she knew that he worried about appearing to favor certain people over others. They had discussed it at length over many glasses of wine, especially when a new position became available and he had to fill it. She didn't envy his position of power; it seemed like a lot more stress and politics than it was worth.

She hadn't counted on a parcel sitting on her desk with a hand written letter and a yellow tulip that would send all their lunch hour hard work crashing into oblivion. She hesitated for a second, her fingers tracing the 'N' written on the corner, wondering if opening the parcel was worth the turmoil it would no doubt initiate. Yellow tulips were her favorite, she couldn't remember ever telling him that and yet somehow he knew. They symbolized 'passionate love' too, she wasn't sure Nick was the type of person who would have realized that though, he had more than likely just picked the nicest flower he could see at the time.

"What's all this then?" Tom joked from the doorway, grinning at her as she sniffed the tulip and stared into space. He crossed the room and took the chair across from her, frowning at the package and the letter.

"They're from Nick…" she declared as though that explained everything.

He reached out to pick up the package but she put her hand over his and met his eye with a small shake of her head.

"I don't know if I should open it…"

"What… you think it's a pipe bomb or something?" he laughed before realizing she was serious about not opening it "you can't not open it…I'll open it!"

He snatched it from her hands before she was able to respond and waved it in front of her eyes as she slipped the letter across the table, closer to her body hoping he wouldn't notice she hadn't opened that yet either.

"What's it gonna be girl?…. If I open it there's every chance I will be the one who falls hopelessly in love with him and somehow I don't think I'm his type!"

"I thought we agreed I was moving on?" she huffed, reaching out her hand towards him and fighting the smile tugging at her mouth "oh give it here!"

The thick brown paper unfolded easily but she hesitated before revealing what was inside, well aware of Tom's eyes watching her every move and scanning her face to read her emotions. The paper peeled back to reveal an obnoxious striped cover book with a couple locked in an embrace on the cover. Her mind was instantly transported to their last conversation 'Mills and Boon'. She couldn't resist the chuckle teasing on her lips as she brandished the book at Tom.

"'The Male Animal'" he read aloud, turning the book over in his hands "is he trying to tell you something Cat? I wasn't told he was an animal"

"Shut up Tom… it's a long story!"

"About book club huh?" he smiled, turning the book around so she could see the note stuck to the inside cover. "Tonight at 7… looks like you have a date" she snatched the book from his hands "are you going to go?"

"No!" she answered a little too quickly. "I'm not going there again, it wouldn't work…"

"Ok then" Tom nodded, sending her a knowing smile as he heaved himself from the chair and left her office "I won't wait up"

When she was sure he had gone she retrieved the letter from its hiding place and stared down at it in her hands. It felt heavy, like inside that letter there were words she didn't want to hear, confessions and secrets she didn't need to know. His heart was in her hands and she was terrified that if she opened the letter she'd only end up breaking it again.

In the end work took over and the letter was stashed in a drawer for the rest of the day like the telltale heart thumping in her conscience as the hours ticked by incredibly slowly and the paperwork stacked up. She was off shift at 5pm, it feasibly gave her enough time to go home and change. If she wanted to, that is. The clock on her wall seemed to have frozen time; she could have sworn it had been 4.30 for the past hour at least.

Her eyes seemed to be constantly drawn to the drawer as she signed form after form and wished the hours away. When the clock hit 5pm she sat back in her chair and stared once again at the drawer, her hand stroking the book as it sat on the tabletop beside her.

"Come on, I'll drive you home to get changed…" Tom smiled from her office door.

"Changed for what?" she replied, pretending she didn't know what he was talking about. Tom simply raised his eyebrow and gestured for her to get a move on. She gathered up her things and slung her jacket over her arm, almost forgetting to retrieve the letter from its hiding place and having to run back to get it. Rosie glared at them as they left together, Tom's hand casually resting on the small of Caitlyn's back as he guided her through the doors and nodded goodnight to her.

Nick waited in the restaurant in his best suit fiddling with the edges of the napkin nervously. She could see him through the glass in the door and while part of her wanted to smile and sit across from him like they had never been apart, another part of her was terrified of opening that door and looking into his eyes. She still hadn't read the letter, it burned in her purse willing her to read what he had wrote before making her decision. Tom had insisted it could do no harm, that it was just words and if nothing else it would let her know where his head was even if she didn't know where hers was.

With trembling hands she took out the white envelope and turned it around in her hands, carefully unfolding the flap and slipping the paper out. It had been so long since she'd had a hand written letter; it seemed something so precious and meaningful in these days of emails and text messages.

'_Caitlyn, I know you probably don't want to hear me out or see me right now. I'm not great with words, it's not easy to write down exactly how you feel about someone when they are doing all they can to push you away. It's not easy to know that we could be perfect together but be afraid to push it too hard in case you genuinely don't want anything to do with me. I don't really know what to do for the best, maybe I should let you leave, maybe you can have a beautiful life without me and you can be happy. I can't be though. I've been trying, believe me I wanted to get you out of my head but I couldn't. You're still a part of everything I do. Everytime I close my eyes I see your smile, I can feel your arms around me, I can smell your skin and I've never felt like this about a woman before. I've never had this need to be close to someone, I've never felt hollow at the prospect of not being with someone but I am now and I don't know what to do with it. I don't want to ask too much from you, I know it's hard and we didn't meet under the best circumstances. I don't expect everything to fall into place right away but I love you and all I'm asking is that you try. Nx'_

Her breath caught in her chest at the honesty in his words. Nick wasn't generally a romantic person; he kept his cards close to his chest most of the time she knew it had probably been hard for him to write it. She took a deep breath and turned back towards the restaurant colliding with Nick coming through the door.

"We need to stop meeting like this!" Nick laughed, his hands holding onto her arms momentarily "I thought you were going to blow me off again"

"I was… I mean… I wasn't going to come but…" she wasn't sure how to justify her disappearance or her avoidance of him ever since.

"You read the letter?" he guided her to one of the benches on either side of the doorway and sat beside her "I don't want to force you into anything…"

"You know what? I was doing just fine without you! I was fine before and I was fine after. I was doing OK Nicky and then you turn up again and turn it all upside down! My life was on track…."

"My life was empty" he stated sadly, taking her hand in his gently.

"Oh is that right? What about Rosie then?" she snapped, pulling her hand away and standing up.

She was getting irate; her dad had always told her that men will say whatever they needed to get what they wanted. It was just words, it didn't mean anything. She was beginning to think he had been right.

"Rosie… Rosie was nothing. What about Tom?" her eyes shot to his and she found herself laughing at his misunderstanding.

"Tom's gay Nicky… you're probably more his type than I am!"

A silence lingered between them and Caitlyn surrendered and took the space beside him once more with a sigh. Nick draped his arm around her shoulders.

"Can I have another do over?" he smiled in her direction, moving a strand of hair gently from her face. "I'm not doing great at the whole impressing you thing…"

"No you're not gaining any brownie points right now" she smiled slightly, holding his gaze for a moment longer than normal. The air seemed to still around them, the darkness of the night closing in and wrapping them in its heavy embrace. Caitlyn's eyes glistened in the moonlight as she met his eye, her tongue moistening her lips, drawing his attention to them immediately. His heart was pounding in his chest, making him breathless.

"I can't be without you…" he whispered into her hair as he dipped his head towards her.

Caitlyn turned her attention to her hands, her fingers fiddling with her nails. She was so nervous her hands were trembling and her bottom lip was red from biting down on it.

"I'm sorry…"

He reached out and covered her hands with his, the gasp escaping her mouth at the sudden physical contact sent shivers all over his body and when she tore her eyes from her hands to his eyes he found himself slowly leaning towards her again. His hand stroked the soft skin of her face, making her eyes close and her breath still.

"It won't work Nick…what about Greg? What if he finds out?"

"He already knows… I told him everything. He… told me to fight for you" he soothed, not removing his hand from her face or his eyes from hers. She didn't lower her gaze either, both of them locked in position as time melted away from them.

"Why did you have to do this Nick, you could have left it well alone"

His lips caressed hers; gently savoring the plump, soft flesh and the glorious taste she lent him. She didn't fight him off but neither did her lips dance on his when he pulled back he saw tears in her eyes and a quiver on her lips.

"I couldn't… I'm so totally in love with you I can do anything but leave it alone!"

Caitlyn's fingers intertwined with his, her other hand snaked around his neck and before he realized what was happening she was kissing him. Really kissing him in an embrace filled with emotion and promises.

"You're an idiot, you do know that don't you?"

He nodded in response, willing to agree to anything at this point as long as he didn't scare her away.

"If it means we can try again….I'll be whatever you want me to be" he winked, immediately receiving a playful slap on the arm from Caitlyn.

"Don't push it lover boy, it is a woman's prerogative to change her mind!" she smiled, her hand now resting on his chest, feeling his heart beating onto her fingertips through the thin fabric of his shirt.

"Then will you change your mind and have dinner with me please?" he stood up and reached out his hand to her, hoping for a second chance to make it work. Caitlyn smiled, her hand slipping into his as he pulled her to a standing position and hesitated when he found himself holding her in his arms. Her body was almost pressing against his, the heat and scent of her skin temping him. He dipped his head, finding her lips again and dancing around her tongue with his before breaking away and placing delicate kisses across her jaw and neck. When she pulled away the pink flush of desire cast over her skin made him smile at his victory.

"I'd love to" she muttered breathlessly and he led her back into the restaurant eyeing his prize as she walked before him.

He had known from the second he met her that they should be together, it had just taken her this long to catch up.


End file.
